Into His Web I Went
by camp30
Summary: Sookie is given to her intended Eric Northman for marriage. Takes place in 1844. A marriage of commands and lust and obsession ensues. First Person Sookie POV.
1. I Stepped Into his Parlor

**AN: If you are hesitating to read this because I am the author and I've horrified you in the past DONT. This Eric will of course be dark but not as dark as my others. Meaning there will most likely be no rape. **

I was born in the year eighteen thirty in my family's plantation home outside of New Orleans. Near the house beyond the fields of sugar forests swelled where swamps sat like romantic monsters. My childhood was idyllic. I was the apple in my father's eye and a pretty adornment to my mother. My mother died when I was ten of malaria. It was a sickness that was to creep through my life felling those around me for years to come. No one was safe from its skeletal grasp. Not even my mother with her bubbling vivaciousness and her jewels and the privilege that she'd been born to and married into.

My father poured the contents of his great heart to me. Showering me with all affection and rights. The years passed and if things were savage I knew it not. That the slaves were happy in their labors was an idea that nothing contradicted. It was only later that I saw the sorrow behind their brilliant smiles. I was a princess of sorts. A gem in the ruling classes crown. My beauty had been with me it seemed since I could first realize the effect that I had on those around me.

My hair was an odd mixture of red and gold mingled with light brown. It had never been cut and fell well past my knees when unbound. A boy once told me it was like the coat of a fox his father had mounted in his study. My eyes are hazel with gold and green and light brown. My lashes are long thick and dark. My mouth is so full that there have been rumors of colored blood in my veins for years.

I first saw my husband to be on the eve of my fifteenth birthday. He moved through candle light his face lightly outlined by it. He was taller than any man there, towering over them. His hair was a blond so light it seemed as if moonlight shrouded him. His eyes were the color of the stone that you find in the shadows of mesas out west.

I flushed and looked down at my plate. It wasn't till later that I found out that he was my intended. My father had his back to me and he was speaking to the man who was merely pretending to listen to him. His eyes cut through the gathering and I felt as though they hunted me.

_Who was this rake who watched me so closely? _

My father turned his handsome face flushed and sat down next to me giving a slight gesture to the blond haired man to sit across from me. "Sookie dear this in Eric Northman he hails from New Orleans," he beamed first at me then the silver haired man.

I bobbed my head to him "How do you do?" my voice was low and hesitant. Eric simply sat there for a second and I could see he was actually thinking about my nonsensical politeness. "I do well thank you," he said at last. His voice was southern and deeply masculine.

He had an air danger that hung about him. It seemed to seep from his eyes and the pores of his flawless skin. "Do you have a middle name?" the question was odd and I blinked up at him. "No."

Eric leaned back and turned to my father " After dinner you will tell her," the order was clear in his voice.

My father smiled weakly at him "Yes."

I knew not of what they spoke but something in the words made dread crawl on my flesh. "Tell me what?" I asked father not looking at the man across from me.

Father loosed his cravat and took a sip of wine with a trembling hand. "I have been meaning to tell you of this for some time daughter," his eyes met mine "After our repast we will talk."

The icy beauty of the man across from me was hard not to look at. My very eyes desired a taste of his perfection. He said not a word to me, instead he conversed with Mary who lived in the neighboring plantation. His manner towards her was one of vague boredom and amusement. Mary was beside herself with excitement at his attention. His eyes occasionally drifted in my direction whence a faint smile would touch his lush mouth.

That a man should have a woman's mouth was odd to me but then I noticed the cast of cruelty to it that made it masculine. His laziness was apparent in every languid gesture. When he reached for his glass he curled a finger and had one of the house slaves fill it.

The meal passed and I kept my eyes on my food that I'd scarcely touched. My father beckoned me and I lifted my heavy skirts and followed keenly aware that _he_ was behind me.

We came to my father's study and he turned to Eric who loomed behind. "I would tell her in private," his tone was stern.

I half turned to look at Eric and saw a smirk cross his face "And I would see her reaction," he pushed past me and father and into the study. We trailed after and father closed the door.

A fire was roaring in the hearth and I will never forget how the flames seemed to rear up and flicker in time with his expressions. "Sit down Sookie," father said gently.

I did and folded my small hands in my lap. I gazed up at him with a feeling of doom. "Eric Northman is your intended," he said quietly. I felt his turquoise regard upon me. I moved to stand and his hand went to my shoulder "Stay seated," I should have known that it was the first of many commands.

"But father I am not yet fifteen," I protested.

Eric lounged against the edge of father's vast walnut desk and watched. Father cleared his throat "Mr. Northman is willing to wait until you are fifteen, you will be married in September."

I rose to my feet and ignored the flash of amusement in my intended's eyes. "I will do no such thing," I could hear how disrespectful and strident I sounded but I couldn't seem to help it.

Eric Northman moved like a big cat towards the fire and with his back to me he said fateful words. "It seems your father has quite the gambling problem, a few letters carefully written has brought the issue to light," he turned to me and his hair was glowing with the light of flames.

"I of course will settle his debts…" he trailed off. And father's face burned with shame. "Sookie you must be married soon in any case and Mr. Northman will give you a life of luxury that most could only dream of."

I ran from the room leaving the door open behind me. Into the grounds I fled. Slaves watched me from the shadows and the moon boiled me in its uncaring radiance.

I heard a tread behind me though how I still don't know. He stood there in a shaft of light and watched me. "I will come for you in a fortnight, my love," his last words were mockingly given as if the idea of love were the most amusing thing in the world to him.

Days passed like the rough knots upon a hangman's noose. I considered running many times but father had my mammy with me at all times. We were in the garden behind the house when she spoke. "Sookie child you needs to calm down, there's no sense in this caterwauling. You said he was nice looking didn't ya?" my mammy asked.

I nodded and stared forlornly into the heart of a rose. "He's bad though Minnie, maybe even evil," lifted my head our eyes met.

She clucked and her black braids swayed in the heat "Now you can't be knowing that already, you jest met the man, give him a chance."

I shivered though it was late August and the sun was baking me. It's was the chill of his eyes that made the shiver crawl down my spine. I remembered everything about him. Each gesture was burned into my mind.

He came for me in the middle of September. In a coach of black wood gilded with gold. A slave drove his carriage.

Our butler answered the door and my intended saw me coming down the main stairs. A smile flickered across his mouth and I froze halfway down. "Come down little one, we must be about it," he called.

I said goodbye to my father and Minnie my mammy was to accompany me. I had had a trunk packed for weeks in readiness. I knew that the time for begging had long since passed. My Father's face was carved in his sorrow. But he forced a smile and hugged me sharply to his breast. "You will write me of course," he whispered in my ear. "Yes," I replied as I stepped back. I was too angry with him to give him the kiss on the cheek I knew he wanted.

I had changed into a traveling gown of gold and brown. My betrothed flicked his hand imperiously to his slave who helped me into the conveyance. Minnie was forced to get herself in since Eric showed no signs of helping her.

He climbed in and sat across from me "Step into my parlor said the spider to the fly," he drawled his heavy lidded eyes gleaming in a shaft of sunlight.


	2. My New Home

**AN: I realize now that I cut this chapter short. But since eight people have already read it I will most likely update again sometime today, this story is boiling in my blood. Review if you want more. **

The ride didn't take long. I watched my betrothed from under the fall of my lashes. He lounged with his hands so big and long upon the hardness of his stomach. He wore a coat of black with fur about the collar. His manner was relaxed and ready both at once. His lids raised a sweep of soot to show the flare of his bright gaze. A smile crept across his lips "Are you finished eye fucking me?" Laughter rode beneath his voice.

I flushed and turned to the window. "Tit ain't proper to speak to my Sookie that way Mister," Minnie said sharply. I realized when she blanched at his expression that Minnie had rarely known the viciousness of my race. She'd been born on my family's land and my Grandfather had taught her to read. "When I want the opinion of a slave I will ask for it," his voice was soft but the promise of violence was beneath it.

I bristled "Don't talk to her that way."

Eric gave me a look filled with deadly patience "I will talk to her any way I please, you see I purchased her from your father. She is mine. Much like you are."

I felt the blood drain from my face and limbs, one hand went to Minnie's dusky one and I squeezed. He saw our joined hands and a look of limitless distaste curled his lip. Yet he said nothing and made no move to pry us apart.

One white hand went to the window and he drew the shade down and into shadows we sank. My palm began to sweat as I tried to decipher his mood. It was to become something I would do for the rest of my days. My fingers unclenched from Minnie's hand. He noticed and seemed pleased.

We arrived at the feet of New Orleans and went far beyond it to the west of the great city. The house was vast with at least twenty snow white columns and sat in unnatural shadow as if it repelled the sunlight. All around it was a grove of Magnolia trees. Before that down the long gravel dusted drive weeping willows had graced both sides. Spanish moss moved like wraiths in the still hot air.

Summer leaves Louisiana only with great reluctance as if it were a widow beside the body of her loved one. Fall was upon the land and here and there I caught glimpses of leaves turning red or brown. But most would stay green I knew. The seasons change but the landscape remains nearly the same no matter the time of year. The white blossoms of the magnolias scented the air with a heavy cloying perfume. He touched me for only the second time when his hands went about my waist to lift me down. His big fingers overlapped and he looked into my eyes "What a little doll you are," he whispered. I shivered as his lips drew near mine but at the last second he pulled back.

His eyes seemed to be the sky so fully did he dominate me with their depths. He took my hand in his and it swallowed my bones. "This is to be your home, it is named Elysian," he informed bringing me to the porch where an army of slaves stood at attention.

I looked carefully at their expressions trying to gauge his treatment of them. Their faces were carefully stoic and they all knelt before him when he ascended the stairs. I had never in my life seen slaves behave in such a way and I must have made a disgusted face for he laughed. "Rise and meet your new Mistress," his tone was surprisingly kind.

A few smiles came and they curtsied or bowed according to their sex. "Pleased to meet ya Mistress," they murmured with averted eyes. I glanced to Eric wanting to question him about their kneeling which I found repellent. His eyes slitted and he put one finger to my lips.

I got the message; I was never to question him before his slaves. It took two slaves to open the massive doors. They were white and heavily carved with knights and above their wooden expressions was stained glass with a maiden kneeling. It was sign I felt but of what I didn't know.

Inside the home was a sort of opulence that I'd never witnessed. A chandelier hung above the foyer of the finest crystal with thick beeswax candles their many heads unscorched. Of course he wouldn't use the same candles more than once I thought.

He released my hand and flicked a finger to a slave nearby "Take this woman to the slave quarters," he said gesturing to Minnie.

I straightened up beside him "No, she has never been quartered with them before."

He went still and his eyes became speculative and haughty "No?"

I nod "She has always stayed in a room next to mine own."

Eric's lips pursed for a moment "It is most unorthodox," he murmured. His eyes searched my face and he sighed "Will this please you?"

I glanced up at him and felt suddenly overwhelmed by him "Yes," I whisper. He looks to the slave in front of Minnie. "Very well make up a guest room somewhere near my bethrothed chambers."

I smiled tremulously and felt as though I had won something. He began to walk through the long hall and went to a room that was closed. "You are never to go into this room," he said giving me a severe expression.

"Why?" as soon as the question left me I knew I would get no answer. He smirked and pretended I had not spoken. "It is usually locked but should you find it undone, do not enter," his broad colossal back was to me and I joined him in his advancement down the passageway.

We passed two staircases with gleaming marble lines that seemed to lead endlessly into shadow. Finally we came to grand room made of glass where orchids bloomed amidst wild riotous foliage of a tropical nature. The air was thick and moist on my face. I walked to a red bloom that seemed to pulse in the sunlight. My head dipped to it and I inhaled deeply. "That is Satan's rose," he said softly in my ear.

I started "Don't sneak up on me."

He made no reply and straightened. "Do you like it?" he seemed unconcerned if I should. Boredom was his constant companion it would seem. I look around "Why do you have this?"

Eric shrugged and leaned his cheek to an errant blossom and sighed "I am a great admirer of beauty," he replied so softly that I strained to hear.

I was forced to admit as his mesmerizing eyes turned to me that there was something _compelling_ about him. His mystery was to consume me till my dying day.

We moved from the hot house and back into the rear of the home. He led me with a gentle touch up the staircase to the left. "Where do your servants stay?" I tensed as I waited for his reply.

His eyes danced with amusement "The house slaves stay in the attic and the field ones stay in small homes on the grounds," he paused as we came to a landing. "Surely you're aware of the manner in which slaves are housed," his brow arched and his lips twitched "Your father owns over two hundred."

I said nothing and my cheeks burned. He laughed and took my arm with a light grip to lead me to the peak of the stairs into a carpeted hall. "Perhaps you were checking to see if I had them in my dungeon?"

I shook my head but he wasn't convinced.

We came to a room with the walls done in elaborate wall paper and I see my trunk open upon a great bed. The door of an armoire is ajar and my gowns are hung neatly.

My hand drifted to the wallpaper and I caressed it. His eyes are on me "I see you like to experience things fully," he said silkily. His hand covers mine and I feel a shiver go up my arm.

Eric steps free of me and beckoned me to follow "Its dinner time and no Minnie may not eat with us," he said as he went down the stairs. I bit my lip and decided that I will pick and choose my battles. After all even father had never allowed slaves to dine with us.

We step into a grand dining room with a vaulted painted ceiling with angels slaying what looked like Greek gods. The marriage of beauty and savagery reminded me of my intended who even at that moment watched me with a predatory possessive gleam.


	3. An Enemy In My Reflection

**AN: First off I would like to acknowledge the fine quality of the reviews this story has received and ****thank everyone who did so. Secondly I realize that these chapters are short but I update frequently. Well here it is as promised. **

Eric's smooth pale hand raised into the air the gesture full of languorous grace "Bring my betrothed an Italian vintage," he commanded of a slave who stood nearby in livery. He was an exceedingly handsome man with gold hair and blue eyes, something in me stirred as I studied him. Eric took note of my interest; his eyes narrowed.

"Look elsewhere or I will have his beauty disgraced," his voice was peculiarly gentle.

My cheeks whitened in fear and revulsion "You wouldn't," I weakly replied.

Eric shook his silver haired head in a mockery of sadness "I would, you will learn in time not to test me Sookie, for you will always lose," he told me this evenly with no inflection.

His gaze left me and turned to the slave who'd just returned with the wine. "Bring some treats for us _brother_ Emmire," there was a curious inflection on the word brother.

After the man had left I leaned forward "You are a relation of his?"

Eric's expression turned dark with humor of a gallow's sort "He is a relation of _mine_."

He picked up his crystal goblet and turned it to the light of the candles seemingly transfixed at the play before him. With his eyes on it he spoke once more "Yes my father had a predication for negro women and men," he glanced up "Why if queers could birth children just think of how many more siblings I would have?"

He didn't seem the least bit embarrassed by the news he shared. I met his eyes carefully keeping my face neutral. This man who I was soon to join lives with before god was dangerous. _And beautiful_ my mind whispered.

There was something incredibly glorious about him. From his hair of moonlight to his eyes like jewels caged in black and his mouth so sensuous. I was aware of his regard suddenly "What of you? I have heard whispers about you even in town."

I flushed and toyed with the stem of my glass. "You are referring to my supposed mulatto blood," I stated it flatly and arched a brow to him and brought my glass to those treacherously full lips which started the rumors in the first place. I took a sip and closed my eyes as the thick vintage rolled down past the gate of my tongue into my throat. Slowly I opened them and set my goblet back down. "Sir I wonder I really do how is it that you came to know of me, I am merely the daughter of a provincial sugar farmer."

Eric leaned forward with a ghostly smile curling his lips "Do you now? Hmm perhaps someday I will enlighten you," he was quiet for a second then he winked one brilliant eye "Today is not that day."

Food came in held aloft on more than a dozen dusky hands. Their faces were well fed I noticed and their clothing nearly new and unsoiled. My interest in this man and my apprehension grew.

It was lavish food of sort that is eaten in salons in France. I had dined with the President of the United States when I was a girl of twelve and we'd had food of this sort. It was drowning in sauces and far too rich for my blood. I touched nothing and I felt his disproval.

When I lifted my eyes there was a frown that lived only in his eyes, his mouth was still. "Sookie do you not care for French cuisine?"

I played with my soup spoon and replied with my eyes on the bright glint "No not overly."

Eric moved so suddenly that I was startled. He swept all the dishes to the floor where they made a clamorous noise. "Take these away and clean up this mess," he commanded those he owned. A lump formed in my throat. Just as he owned me.

"That food will never be served to you again," he said gently. I realized that I was trembling and his keen awareness caught that. "Are you cold?"

I shook my head "No sir."

"Call me Eric."

"No Eric," I said softly meeting his eyes.

"Tomorrow we will see about your wedding dress," he informed me as we waited for fresh food. With a jolt I recalled what I'd never forgotten, I was to be this man's bride. He seemed amused at my reaction. "I'm going to enjoy fucking you," he said so quietly that I scarcely heard.

"That is vulgar to say to a lady," I reprimanded him. They were words used to mask my fear and the anxiety that his statement caused in me. He smirked for a second his eyes bored into my layers of clothes as if to see what lay beneath. "Yes I suppose it is, but you are _mine_."

Suddenly he rose and undid the elaborate do of my hair. I went absolutely still, acutely aware of his massive body behind me. The many pins fell to the table one by one. Then it fell to the floor. He made a soft gasp. It nearly sounded as if the sight of my unbound hair caused him pain. His eyes glittered when I turned to see him. "Sir are you quite alright?"

He ignored my question and his hands knifed into my locks. His touch sent shivers down the column of my back. "Stop," I whispered. He leaned down and licked my ear "Mine," he said in kind.

Food came in slaves stepping over those who were still busy cleaning up the thrown food. This time it was normal American fare. Meat mashed potatoes and greens. I ate delicately with little appetite.

"Do you not care for it?"

I shook my head. "It's fine sir but I'm not a great eater, it gives me a migraine when I partake too much."

Eric tilted his head to the side and seemed to study me "No wonder you are so fragile and slender," a note of pleasure was in his voice.

"Most men think I am far too thin for fashion," I blurt out and instantly feel the fool.

He lounged a big beautiful predator his eyes smoldered "Most men aren't worth the blood in their veins," the disdain was clear. _He hates everything and everyone_, came my thought.

He stood and took my arm to lead from the room. "Have a bath drawn for my lady," he said to a stooped old black man.

We returned once more to my quarters and he leaned against the wall. "Take off your clothes wife."

I shook my head "You are not my husband yet sir."

A slow smile akin to the burning of the sun slid across his lips "Touché," he murmured.

Then he turned from the room and the door closed behind him.

That he hadn't forced his right to see me unclothed was curious. I pondered that as Minnie washed my hair and back. The water was scented with Magnolia oil. When I was finished a knock sounded on the door. "Come in," I said putting on a robe.

A beautiful girl a few years older than me came in. Her skin was molten gold and her eyes bright green. Her hair was kinky and golden and puffed around her perfect face like a cloud before the rising sun. But one thing about her was ugly. It was the scheming hateful look in her eyes. "I am to be the new lady to you, it's my responsibly to see to the doing of your hair and your general presentation," she curtsied with a mocking cast to her eyes.

I felt the victim of a joke untold "That's quite alright I have Minnie here," I said gesturing to my mammy.

She cast a quick disdainful glance at my dear companion "The Master said she isn't fit for it," I noticed an uncommon elegance to her speech and bearing which lacked wholly the vernacular of those in her station.

I sighed "Very well."

She took a silver brush from atop my vanity and began to brush my hair cruelly. My hand reached back and I snared her wrist "Please take care that your ruthlessness doesn't affect you," the warning is clear and after that she is much more gentle.

I stared into the mirror before me and see her watching our reflections with a killing light in her eyes.


	4. The Queen Shifted The Pawn About

I was young but I was white and had been encased in the privilege of my race since birth. I stared at her expression and smiled sardonically " What is your name?"

"Felicia," came the curt reply as she bid me stand. She rummaged inside a dresser and pulled free a cotton nightshirt for me. I held up my arms as if I was a child and she slipped it over my head. There was an instant where the cloth rested against my face and her breathing quickened. Then it continued its journey and floated down to my body.

Her eyes were filled with an unseemly excitement. I stepped back from her and sat once more at the vanity. "Felicia," I began. "What is the meaning of your animosity towards my person?" I took no care to dumb down my language as I might have for another slave, it was clear that she was educated.

Felicia stood like a wild mare in the pasture of my chambers, her nostrils flared. "Why my lady we've just met, what ill will could I bear you?" her voice was honeyed but I was not fooled.

"You have the eyes of a serpent when you look upon me," I spoke slowly and softly never taking my eyes from her dazzling face.

Felicia smiled and it was the unsheathing of a cat's claws "I suppose you think that the Master is besotted with you?" the question was perfunctory it was clear that in her mind she already knew the answer. Also the knowledge of Eric sweeping of the table when I hadn't cared for the food was in her bright gaze.

I bowed my head for an instant "So now you would speak plainly," lifted my head and stared "And what business is it of _yours_?"

Her slender fingers twisted together with her eyes on my reflection. "I'm sure I don't have any interest in it, I was merely seeking to better know the mind of my future Mistress," a touch of snideness was in her tone.

"You are dismissed," I said evenly.

The door opened and she was gone.

Minnie came in her face haloed by the light of a candle. She set it down on my small reading table and sat in a contemplating chair. Her face so dear to me was concerned. "That trash that just left is bad news Sookie," she said with no preamble.

"Indeed," I said thoughtfully. Minnie knew better than any what my delicate beauty hid; I was fiercely intelligent. Minnie's plump lined hands tapped the table top. "Colored folk who strive for more than their skin need to be put in their place," our eyes met and I frowned. It was odd but I was more tolerant of impertinence from slaves than she was.

"You know ordinarily I would hotly disagree with you, however I will deal with this with swift retaliation."

My mind turned and Minnie smiled proudly. That she had not given birth to me pained her I knew. The day I first walked it was to her bosom that I went. Her arms that folded around me. My parents had been too busy to catch all my milestones. It had always been Minnie.

"Master Eric seems almost kind," she murmured. I leaned back against the wall with my knees drawn. "Perhaps," I said doubtfully.

She clucked as was her wont her cloth bound hair was a bright ruff in the dimness. "Now my child yous got to see this clearly, I heard some of mine talking about what he'd done when you didn't like the food," her eyes looked triumphant as if it were the work of her own two hands. "That's promising I say."

A small smile flickered across my lips. "Perhaps," I said less doubtfully. Minnie clasped her hands atop the table. "You got to bewitch him to you that muchin is clear," a cunning gleam caught her eyes like burning shrubbery.

For all my intelligence I was in some ways a child still even if the law saw me as a woman grown. "But I don't know how," I whispered. Minnie's keen hearing who's ears had been pricked for my voice all my days picked that up. The candle blew in a mysterious breeze making shadows melt and bend on her dark face.

"That is simple as breathing for a girl with your face," she was sounding more excited now. She adored my beauty it was her who first pointed out that it was there. She came at my gesture to sit beside me on the bed. Our two heads bent together one ebony and one fox colored. Our voices touched one another's as I was instructed on how to wield my new power.

She went to her chambers and I blew out the candle beside the bed. The next day the sky seemed a bowl of cream so milky with clouds it was. I peered out from my brocaded curtains at my new world.

A knock sounded and Felicia appeared at my granted entry. Her face was brilliant with loathing which she vaguely concealed beneath a cloying smile. "Lady I've come to dress you and see to your hair." She eyed my long braid as if she longed to cut it.

I waved my hand imperiously "Then do so."

Since I had bathed last night I was spared her contempt at seeing me at my bath. When she lingered doing my hair and chose an old frightful gown that I used for riding, I smirked and gestured to a golden morning gown. "I think not Felicia," I said pulling it out from the armoire.

My hair was expertly done, it seemed her impertinence hadn't affect her ability to make me resplendent. My long thick hair with its odd threading of color was elaborately braided and coiled around the crown of my head. The gown set off the gold in my eyes. I used animal fat to extend my lashes and darken their already dark color. I pinched my cheeks "After the wedding we will see about getting you other matters to attend to," my meaning was clear.

I would only put up with her presence until I came into my power as Mistress of this great house. Felicia flushed angrily "Do you think you are the only woman to ever have caught his attention?" the question seemed wrenched from her. A faint gleam of alarm was in her bright green eyes.

I regarded her steadily "I am sure that is not the case, but a horse needn't be in the lead the entire way of a race to win," I allowed a smug smile to cross my face.

Her gold hands clenched and it was clear that she longed to speak her mind. "Speak freely Felicia," I said softly.

Her lashes rose above her grassy eyes "Master Eric has never loved anyone and you won't be any different," her words came in a hiss.

I moved to the door of my quarters and turned after it was opened at my touch. My eyes met hers "We shall see, won't we?" then I winked slowly.

Felicia followed me down the stairs and I was acutely aware of my vulnerability, that she could with one shove end me. I decided then and there that I would never again have my back to her.

We made it down the length of them and I found Eric coming from the room I had been forbidden to enter. He locked it and pocketed the key. A strange look passed between his slave Felicia and himself before he ignored her entirely to devour my face. He moved like mist over steel so powerfully graceful was he. He stood before me and I heard Felicia groan softly as if in pain.

His eyes flicked to her "Leave us," he said softly.

He looked magnificent today; he wore a coat of crimson over a black linen shirt loose at the collar. The brilliance of the king's color made his fair hair seem to glow. His eyes so mesmerizing captured me. "Sookie," he made my name a caress. I blinked up at him and my small gloved hand came to his vast chest. "Yes my lord?"

His mouth twitched with amusement and something more "Come we will have breakfast and I will show you the entirety of your new home."

I followed him my heavy skirts swishing in the warming wind that came through the many open windows. Soft sunlight new as a bloody babe bathed the dining table. I could not take my eyes off him. He sat down and flicked a hand to Emmire his brother. I was to find out later that Emmire was his valet. "Is breakfast ready?"

Emmire nodded "Nearly Master," his face was expressionless and I noted that he carefully avoided looking at me.

Eric nodded and turned his bright gaze to me "You look exquisite this morning," he murmured with his ringless hands resting on the smooth mahogany of the table. I smiled prettily at him and flashed the dimple near my mouth. "Thank you my lord."

That I used an antiquated way of addressing him seemed to please him and this time he made no quibble that I should address him by his Christian name.

I could feel him studying me his eyes like a physical touch upon me, I knew the instant it left my face and went down my neck to rest on my bosom. Though my head was bowed and my eyes nearly closed I could feel his approval of me. It warmed me.

I had no doubt when I looked up that it was only a matter of time before I was madly in love with him.


	5. A Glimpse of His Cruelty

Breakfast passed in silence that was likened to a veil sitting over us. He watched me openly and I watched covertly. He stood and the slaves swept forward a dark tide of humanity that gathered the dishes up.

He took my arm and we walked to the back where there was a long curving road dusty gray against the black earth of the fields in blossom. He grew cotton I saw. It spilled out to the edges of my vision. A carriage waited only for us. Emmire opened the door and we climbed in. To my surprise he got in across from us. I bowed my head and conversely looked to the window, anywhere but to his face.

There was a test here I felt. I glanced over to Eric who's soft sensuous mouth was curved into a tiny smile as he stared down his golden skinned brother. Emmire kept his head bowed I saw from the corner of my eye.

"Brother do you find my milky bride to be pleasing to your eyes?" his voice was soft and seductive.

His hand swept to my lap and curved to my thigh. "Isn't she a bit like a doll?" Emmire made no reply and his face seemed carved from stone. "Answer me slave," Eric barked.

Emmire's head lifted and I was shocked by the love in his eyes and I knew it was for Eric. "No Master," his voice was soft it fell like mist in the dim interior. Eric was watching him with faint amusement.

"I thought not brother," he turned to me "Emmire's tastes don't run that way," he murmured.

Eric leaned back into the plush upholstery "Isn't that right Emmire?"

Slowly the golden head nodded and look of strain gathered around his full mouth.

Eric's bright gaze burned his brother I could feel that there was something here that I wasn't privy too. Some inner circle joke. He was playing with him. That was to be my first glimpse of his great cruelty.

The most terrible thing of it was the way Emmire was unable to look away from Eric. There was a terrible longing in his eyes and when my betrothed licked his lower lip Emmire groaned. "Stop it," I whispered.

Eric's gaze swept to me and I began to tremble. His intense sexuality overwhelmed me. "Stop what dearest?" his tone was droll.

My eyes narrowed "Stop tormenting him," again my voice was low. Eric smiled and it was like the moon battling the sun.

"Never presume to command me little one, I will bend the knee to no one," he said softly.

His eyes went to his brother "Emmire knows that, don't you _darling_?" that the darling should be for him and not I was disconcerting. Again I felt as though I had my face smashed against a window. I was outside looking in.

Emmire nodded and color flooded his cheeks. "Get out Emmire and walk back, I would show my betrothed her new home," his flicked his hand and the carriage stopped and Emmire got out.

His great beauty was unstoppable to me even in my horror. The question that I longed to ask I choked back in fear of the truth.

We arrived in a small village that wended it's way around the fields that stretched all around. The gleam of dark skin was everywhere, it shone beneath the bullying sun. They were working and the songs of their negro hymns was unbelievably lovely to me. But then it always had been. Minnie used to sing this one to me to put me to sleep.

Eric got out and then helped me down.

We made our way to the first cottage. It was immaculately built. Finer craftsmanship I've rarely seen. The door when opened revealed four rooms. The floor was hardwood I saw. I let out a gasp. Turned my eyes to him "This is how your slaves live?" the astonishment I felt was revealed. Even my father who loved his slaves like his own children; had his slaves live poorly. The floor of their huts were bare earth.

Eric nodded with a small smirk "Indeed I take care of what is mine," he replied softly. He took my hand and we stepped inside. It was cool inside against all odds and in a moment I saw why. There were actual windows with real glass. Glass was incredibly expensive I knew. His wealth must be limitless. "How rich are you?"

His regard flicked to me "Very."

My hand ran across a velvet bedspread "I have never in my life seen slaves live in such luxury," my voice didn't conceal my wonder.

His face was inscrutable save for a small gleam of satisfaction in his turquoise eyes.

We went to the next home and this one was even richer than the last. There were even paintings hanging on the walls. "What do you feed them?" I was beyond curious at this point.

"Oh a little of everything, they eat what I eat," he said it with a lazy lilt.

"Well, have you seen everything to your satisfaction?" he startled me from my reverie of gazing at a masterpiece that hung incongruously above a bed. I nodded and we returned to the carriage but it didn't head back to our home.

We went beyond the fields dusted with cotton and came to a grand cathedral. I got out with Eric's assistance and felt breathless with his touch. He seemed to know that and his hooded eyes glimmered with some amusement.

His fair head bent to me and he licked my neck. I shivered and stood stock still and his sigh in my ear was the like the wind in its power. I felt in that moment that there was no one in this world that could resist my intended. Man or woman. Emmire's look of longing came back to me like a slap.

Eric's eyes narrowed "What's amiss?" We stood before the most beautiful church I'd ever seen.

I shook my head swallowing the hard lump in my throat. "Nothing My Lord," I murmured. He stared at me for a hard moment with a knowing look. "Very well," he held out his pale hand and I took it.

We entered and I gasped. To say that it was magnificent was a pale description. "This is where we will be married," he said into my ear.

"What is this for?" I asked turning my eyes up to him.

"This is where my slaves worship," he said with a faint smile.

"You're joking."

He looked around and then down to me "No."

The sunlight was brilliant and made radiant spilling through the dozens of perfect stained glass.

"They are catholic?"

Eric nodded and took my hand and walked me the length of the enormous structure. "I don't demand that they be, but they prefer it since they can mingle in their native voodoo," he murmured.

He took me in his arms and I became keenly aware of how large he was and how very small I was. "I want you," he said softly.

I peered up at him and my big eyes felt as if they'd been made to look upon him.

"Please."

"Please what?" he asked with that cynical amusement.

I moved to step from of his embrace and he allowed me to.

"Would you like to give confession?" he pointed to a priest that was dusting a crucifix.

"I don't believe in God," I replied.

His astonishment was pleasurable to me. I laughed and for a second forgot Emmire.

"How intriguing," he said with a tone of delightment.

We left and got into his gilded carriage and headed to what I now thought of as my home. I wanted to see my Minnie. Her dark aged beauty with its ever present love and devotion was heavy behind my eyes when they closed.


	6. The Enchanment That He Casts

**AN: Hi just wanted to say how proud I am of you all. You continue to surprise me with your openness and sophistication. **

We got back to the house and Eric guided me to a room I'd never been in. The door opened and a study was revealed replete with a roaring fire. Two wing backed chairs sat before it. "Sit down Sookie." I did and he settled into the other with infinite grace. Everything about him spoke of lightly reined strength.

He pulled a cord by the chair that dangled it was made of thick velvet. Two slaves appeared. "Bring some treats," he murmured. They gazed at him with lust and awe. They were two girls my age their faces plump with good care. They curtsied and went. "What does it mean when you say treats?"

Eric smirked and his smooth hand caressed the arm rest "Oh that is just a word for snacks." A rustle of petticoats came to my ears and when I turned my head I saw Felicia.

My intended stared at her icily with a faint merriment in his gaze. "What do you want?" he finally asked.

Felicia blinked at him and then quickly her eyes went to me "To be of service Master," she said in an inappropriately sultry way,unable to take her eyes off him. I felt annoyance at the obvious lust in her eyes. I raised a hand "Felicia leave us, he didn't ask for your presence," I kept my tone soft and even.

I could feel his regard when she gave me a spiteful glare and pushed into the room. "You heard her slave," Eric said with a nasty glimmer in those jewel like eyes. The color blanched from her flesh. "Master?" the pleading in her voice made me feel both pity and rage.

I felt Eric's hand curve to my neck and stroke my tender skin there "Get the fuck out," he said it smoothly with his eyes on me. In a whirl of skirts she was gone.

I moved into his palm and then away and his hand fell. "What is with her?"

His face altered like a cloud in his own wind; there was amusement and strangely weariness "She is-_devoted_ to me."

I turned in my seat and looked right at him "Is she in love with you?" I wanted to say _'Is she in love with you like Emmire is?_'

Eric seemed both bored and thoughtful in answer to my query "I'm sure I wouldn't know," he spoke tonelessly and just then the two slave girls arrived with cheese and grapes spilling and swelling on a gilded plate.

They presented the cheese to him as if they had created the world and offered it to him. Eric smiled at them a cat toying with infatuated mice "Set it down here," he said with a lazy purring of his voice. They did and seemed reluctant to leave. Finally at some unspoken command they hurried from the room.

I rolled my eyes and plucked a grape to my mouth. This wasn't lost on Eric and he laughed softly "I treat my slaves quite well, they adore me," he said quietly his hand going to mine with the lightest touch.

In that moment I began to understand why it was that he lavished such luxury on them. He wanted their love, devotion, worship. But I said nothing and kept my face a blank canvas.

I would keep most knowledge of him to myself the better to wield it. He was studying me with a speculative glance. I batted my lashes to him "Is something on my lordship's mind?" I murmured.

His hand went to his face and he cupped his chin, the gesture was so elegant my heart beat picked up. "Yes, why do you not believe in God?"

I smiled for a second "God is for the weak, I am strong," I reply simply. He seemed fascinated by my answer.

"Indeed he is," he said thoughtfully with great care given to each word. He lounged in his seat and his limitless legs stretched.

"How old are you?"

He stared into the fire with a playful expression "Twenty three."

It was around what I suspected maybe a little younger. He turned his head and his eyes reflected the sunlight and flames both at once. "My answer would not have mattered overly I'm sure," there was laughter in his tone.

I frowned and glanced away. "You're so used to enchanting everyone aren't you?"

I could feel the heat of his eyes on me "Yes," he said softly. "And I enchant you just the same," the arrogance in that statement made my pride prickle.

"Don't be so certain," I said gaily.

His hand went to my hair and I could have sworn a look of wonder rested on his face "Sookie," he breathed. I shivered at my name coming from his mouth like honey.

I kept my back straight though I felt as Atlas must have when he bore the weight of the world. I ducked my head from his touch. He smiled like a leopard "Hmm, so you would resist me, how intriguing," he murmured.

His heavy lidded eyes watched me with interest "I am coming to find you compelling, you are more than your fairness."

I felt a sort of mad pride at his statement but kept my face bored. His fingers touched my lips with a piece of cheese and my lips parted and I chewed. I felt a pain in my head as it went down my throat.

Something must have shown for he spoke "It truly does pain you to masticate," he observed.

I nodded and he picked up the plate and threw it across the room. He pulled the cord and the two girls appeared and scurried in with nary a look of surprise. They stooped to pick up the contents that they'd piled so lovingly for him. He seemed vastly entertained and I knew that he hadn't thrown the food for me but for himself.

"Around four o clock a tailor will be coming to speak with you on the design of your wedding gown."

I looked over and saw his eyes on my waist. "You have the smallest waist I have ever seen," the pleasure and lust in his voice warmed me.

"Father always said that I would most likely not be suited for breeding."

Eric's eyes drooped lazily and he nearly laughed "Oh I think we can disprove that notion in oh about a week," it was obvious that he wasn't referring to my giving him heirs.

"We will be married so soon?" what did my voice contain? Was it excitement or nervousness or both, I couldn't be certain.

He stood and I felt again overwhelmed by his size and grace "Yes we will be married on the day of my birth," this information seemed significant though I didn't fully understand why.

He touched the crown of my hair "I will leave you as its nearly time for your session with the tailor," he turned and walked to the door. "Oh and Sookie the tailor is most difficult," he paused with amusement and something like pride in his face "But then somehow I don't think you will be troubled by him."

Then he was gone and oddly it seemed the color had drained from the room, even the flames before me seemed to die.


	7. Wherein He Shows I Am His To Command

**_AN: Fan Fiction is finally working so here it is. _**

The tailor was some sort of manner of woman/man. He wore more makeup than any woman I'd seen much less a man. Rouge coated his cheeks and heavy rice powder was thick on his face as if spread with a trowel. "So this is who Northman has chosen," he hissed with a curious malevolence.

I stared at him "What is the meaning of the viciousness of your tone?"

His lips curved into a frown made macabre by the paint upon his lips "Eric is the most desirable man in all of the south and he would choose a back water provincial such as you?" His eyes trailed from my face to my body, clear disapproval in his regard.

"Desirable? What a strange word for a man to use in reference to another, is that the reason for your whore's face?"

He seemed taken aback for a second before a sneer formed on his face. His beak of a nose lifted into the air and he sniffed dismissively. A long heavy sigh came from his bright red lips. "Come along," he murmured. He led the way as if he'd been here before. We came to the library where someone had set out a mannequin.

I sat down and he sat across from me and pulled a sheaf of blank parchment from his satchel. I told him how I wanted the dress and he began a rough sketch all the while with a mulish expression. His every gesture of the quill was filled with disapproval and haughtiness.

I heard the soft moan of the door and glanced up to see Minnie standing there. I gave her a warm smile and beckoned her forward. The tailor's nostrils flared with disgust and I shot him a warning look.

"Sit down Minnie I am need of your opinion." Minnie glanced from under her lashes at the white man across from them. "Isn't proper," she whispered in my ear.

I smiled up at her "Of course it, you are my friend and have superb taste," I said loudly enough for the man to hear. His head reared back as if he'd been slapped. "I will not stand for this," his voice was at once shrill and strident.

I laughed and patted his oily hand "Of course you will, when I want the censure of a servant in my husband's employ I will ask for it."

He flinched his eyes grew steely "I am Augustus Turnblood-he began proudly.

I finished his sentence. "The tailor yes I'm aware," I put an inflection on his profession making an insult of the word.

Minnie sat when I gestured her to do so. There was a wicked proud gleam in her eyes. She loved when I dominated. Turning to her I shoved the parchment to her eyes "This is the beginning," I said pointing to the rough sketch.

Her expression grew feverish with excitement "You really going to have that long a train?" I nodded; I had the Devil's own pride my father had always said. I meant to look the part.

A soft voice sounded from the doorway. "It shall be a mile long if my lady so desires," when my ears devoured his cadence I saw him standing in a pool of sunlight that seemed to shine solely for him. My heart skipped in its stubborn beating. His bright head preceded him and I noticed him stoop to enter so tall was he.

He moved like a panther towards the table. He gave the tailor a dismissive glance, his eyes were fully for me. I felt his presence eddy outwards to touch my nape sending chills upon it. His hand came to rest on the table top and he peered over my shoulder "I want something done to emphasize my betrothed's tiny waist," he murmured authoritatively.

Into the warm air a gasp came, he tore his eyes from Eric and reached for the parchment. "Mr. Northman," his tone made the mundane address a caress. "I was thinking something to play down the fact that she possesses nearly no curves, not highlight that."

Eric's hand moved to grip the edge of the table, bone showed through his skin. I could feel a strange rage swelling from him like a powerful wind in the room. "How dare you," he said softly. Augustus was trembling with fear and desire. Eric reached across the table and slapped his cheek. He spared me no glance and with that he left.

I nearly laughed with relief and disappointment at his departure. In the end Augustus Turnblood made the design to my specifications and to Eric's.

It would be magnificent. He took my measurements with an air of despair clucking all the while. His eyes spoke volumes and seemed to say 'Why would he want this thing when he could have me?' I smirked up at him when his mouth opened to speak. "Yes?" I prodded. He pursed his lips and finished my waist.

Augustus left after telling me that my gown would be ready in three or four days. "So soon?" I asked.

He smirked with his unpleasant lips "I have a baffle of highly gifted animals to assist," when he said the word he glanced at Minnie with a sneer.

I gave him a look of disdain "Show yourself out sir."

After he left I beckoned Minnie to sit. "Yous handled that well child," her tone was filled with love and admiration which was akin to a cool pool on a hot day.

Her dark head bent "Master Eric is sure one beast of a man, did you see how he had to duck to get in here?"

I almost laughed then "Yes he is enormous." Minnie got a mischievous cast to her regard "I'm bettin in more ways than one."

I flushed with amusement and fear. I wanted to tell her not to call him Master but I knew she would never agree to it. I despised that she was restricted by something as inconsequential as the tone of her flesh. "I'm afraid of him," I whispered to her. The truth was that it wasn't him I feared it was my own self and my reaction to him.

Minnie's face became wreathed in her knowledge of men. "Ain't no need to be Sookie, men is just like chilren, all you need do is wrap him around your little fingers," she broke off as a shadow passed in front of the door.

Felicia stood there with a wicked smile "Master Eric told me that he wants Minnie to see him at once."

My eyes narrowed and I stood. Minnie looked apprehensively at me. I patted her shoulder "Tell him that we are coming."

Felicia's upper lip curled making her lovely face grotesque "Hurry up," she snapped.

I went still across the short space that separated us "You will learn reverence for my person or I will have you sold quicker than the running of your disrespectful mouth," my tone was even without emotion. I heard her gasp sharply and saw her cheeks blaze with anger.

Moving towards the door I brushed past her and heard Minnie coming behind me.

Felicia led us to the hot house. Eric sat on the floor of it with an orchid that looked diseased in his lap. The raw anguish in his face was disturbing. He glanced up from the plant. "It's dying," he whispered. It was as if he held his own life in his hands.

Then he straightened and stood and tossed the plant away as if he'd never seemed in despair for it. "Minnie right?" he flashed her a quick false smile.

Minnie curtsied and kept her eyes to the floor. "You will be receiving new duties."

My spine seemed to infuse all of me "No," I said softly.

Eric glanced at me for the first time "Yes. She is a slave and at this moment she does nothing to earn her keep."

I wanted to slap that smirk from his face "She is my companion."

He arched a brow at Minnie "You will begin working in the kitchens starting this very evening."

Minnie nodded with an impassive expression.

I stomped my foot "She's never done that before."

"First time for everything right?" he murmured. His eyes stilled my tongue. This wasn't about Minnie at all. He was showing me that no matter how strong I felt myself to be that he was still master of all that I was. I knew that openly defying him would do me no good. As mother always said the straightest way to victory was a crooked line.

My lashes lowered "As my Lordship commands so it shall be," I said softly. I felt his pleasure at my obedience spread across my skin. And when I looked up he was giving me a look of odd respect.

I kept my face smooth free of any feeling and curtsied to him "My Lord if you'll excuse me."

He watched for a moment then waved his hand "I will be dining privately with my overseer this night, I shall see you in the morn."

I felt a pang of disappointment which I hid as I turned away. I did not see Minnie that night until it was nearly time for bed. I'd eaten in my rooms rather than face the army of slaves who would watch me eat alone. She came in with a candle below her face.

That night she sang me to sleep with a song that spoke of a God I had never loved nor needed. I felt the weight leave the bed as dreams claimed me.

I dreamt of a grand ball where I was surrounded by skeletons in livery each one vying for my hand. Eric walked in clothed in red velvet with a small smile; the flesh about his bones was pleasing. Only he and I were alive when he took me in his arms and whirled me about the dance floor.

I heard the door of my bedroom open with some part of myself as I looked into my intended's dream eyes. A light crept under my lashes and I went still. I knew with some part of me that it was him.

He sat on the edge of the bed and I clung to the illusion of slumber. "Soon," he whispered. His hand feathered my face and I felt the kiss of his lips on mine. "You will hate loving me," he said softly. I heard the snick of the door close.

**AN: I apologize for the mediocrity of this chapter, this is like the fourth version of it, but it was the finest. **


	8. Knowledge Guarded

I spent the night that passed in feverish dreams. My jaws ached from my repast of earlier. I had over indulged in the hot white bread which always wreaked havoc on my tender places. I awoke with the moon dying in the tepid sky. An hour passed where I simply contemplated my new existence.

Eric's odd anguish at the dying orchid seemed to haunt my mind. What a strange man he is, I mused. Finally I rose and dressed in a simple brown gown which required no help to get myself into. His last words to me while I lay in the twilight of dreaming and waking were heavily in my head.

I massaged my jaws and cracked my door open. From down the hall I heard a wailing in the air. I moved towards it keeping my feet light. It came from a room at the end of the dark hallway. Some hatred in mine ears recognized the wordless sound. I stepped not in front of the door where my shadow could be seen but to the side where the leavings of her lamp couldn't oust me.

The wailing softened and became words. "If only he would show some sign of loving me back," the voice whispered. "Day after day I shower all my affection on him and he gives me nothing but cruelty."

Another voice mumbled in return. It was such a mumble that I couldn't make it out. "What?" Felicia snapped.

"I was saying that I've told you before that the Master responds to coldness, that is why he is so taken with the new Mistress."

A snort of derision filled the space by my ears. "She is only here for one purpose, to fill his bed occasionally and give him heirs, the mealy mouthed ninny."

I moved down the hall before my good sense could abandon me. I had always known that when you learn something about anyone much less a foe it was best to play it close to yourself. Knowledge flaunted lost its power. I had been dominating and manipulating those around me since I could walk. Minnie had seen my nature and had cultivated it with her endless devotion and cunning.

I considered the room that I was not to enter. That I would someday contrive to see its contents, I had no doubt. I always got what I wanted.

Everyone was in thrall of the night. Not a sound stirred. That Felicia had a room not in the slave quarters irritated me and piqued my ire. That she was his mistress I had no doubt. Inside my bright mind I began to plan. That I would have to move very carefully in disposing of her I knew.

I made my way outside after gathering my cloak from the little room that served for such things. To the stables I went. What my destination was I had no idea. I find its best at times to act from instinct. Mine were honed razor sharp. The better to serve my mind.

I saddled a mare with a red coat and glossy chestnut mane. To the slave village I rode with nothing but my gut to guide me. That I would see something of import there I knew.

I went the back way through a wooded trail that I'd spied the other day when with Eric. The better to see but not be seen. From where I ended up I could see both the back and front of the houses.

Movement caught my eyes. I tied the bridle to the limb of a tree a house down and padded close to it. A fair head nearly touching the ceilings moved. And then a pale powerful hand followed. It was Eric. He was hugging an old woman tenderly. Then he sat and gazed at her with something like worship in his eyes. I was in the shadows of a willow tree that grew a few feet from the window. It was open to the night air. "How have you been?" he asked and I could not mistake the real care and interest in his voice.

The jet black head before him turned and I saw with a jolt Emmire's features made female. She was darker then he but still the resemblance was uncanny. "I been doing passable Master, the ague been troubling me something terrible."

Eric watched his slave carefully searching her face for something that was a mystery to me. "And did you receive the balm I sent you? I sent to Paris for it."

A smile flickered on the lined profile "I surely did Master, it helped me something nigh on close to a miracle."

My intended beamed like a proud child. Suddenly my skin prickled and I knew in that strange way of knowing that I had that he would in a moment rise and look out the window.

Turing I mounted the horse and pushed my feet into the horse's side and galloped away careful to keep the hood of my cloak drawn. My hair with its unusual coloring would certainly give me away. I heard the creak of a door somewhere far behind me. That his dominance and curiosity would lead him to give chase I had no doubt. With that thought I made haste and got as quick as I could to the stables.

Quickly I unsaddle the mare and made my way quietly inside. To the library I went so that when he came home I would seem engrossed in a book. First I stopped and stowed my cloak in the room.

I passed a mirror and stared at myself. My eyes were bright with fear and excitement; my cheeks flushed. I took my time choosing the book knowing that a good deception must be believable. In the end it was a book of philosophy by Immanuel Kant called "The Metaphysics of Morals." It was the only Kant book I hadn't yet read. Philosophy was intriguing since it was so vital and important while at the same time being quite useless.

Soon I forget my plotting and simply became deeply immersed in it. I didn't even hear the door open nor did I look up when he strode into the room. Something of his mystery touched me as I looked up at his word. "Sookie," he said softly. The look in his eyes was light and dark all at once.

He sat with lazy elegance in the chair next to mine. He swung one long leg over the opposing rest. His gaze was thoughtful. "What brings you from your bed? Is it not comfortable?"

I memorized the page I was on and glanced up "My jaws hurt," it's partly the truth. Concern flickered in his face. "I don't like that," he murmured. "I will order that only soft foods are made for you."

With a wicked gleam in his eyes he pulled the cord beside his lounging hand. Pounding from far above came. Felicia was the one to answer the summons. At first she saw only him. She fell to her knees and crawled to him with a sultry expression. "You look like a fool," I said quietly from the shadows next to him.

Her face seemed to freeze and fall apart at once. "Master?" Eric was smiling at her with such evil joy it chilled my blood. "Yes?" he drawled with such obvious amusement.

She seemed to try to summon some kind of dignity then and turned to go. "I have not dismissed you slave," his voice was a whip to her turned back. I saw her flinch and she cast her body back. "Yes?"

Eric studied her contemptuously with a glitter in his jewel like eyes "I want you to go to the kitchens and make of a meal for my betrothed of soft stuffs. You are to awaken no one to assist you. If you should fail to be timely," he paused and licked his lower lip "There will be consequences."

Felicia's lovely face grew livid with excitement that curdled me "Yes Master," she had forgotten his cruelty when he spoke of punishment. Eric's next words made joy pulse in me. "Felicia it will be your new Mistress that will dole out your punishments."

She nearly sank to her knees before him "No Master please," she begged. I felt a stirring of pity which I quickly squelched. I said nothing but did allow a smug smile to crest my lips.

Eric smirked and his hand went like a bird to the sky of my nape. He stroked it and she groaned. "Indeed now be about it, or I will make certain she is thorough in her attentions," he leaned over and kissed my cheek.

Felicia stomped her foot and whirled to the door.

I was not so foolish as to believe that he had done this wholly for me. It was another game of his, another diversion to subvert his endless boredom.


	9. A Warning

Eric was watching me with a predatory gleam in his eyes. I met his stare thoughtfully. I knew much about him and yet he was still a mystery. The bits of knowledge that I had gathered had been accidently tossed like a man at a feast who eats sloppily and leaves crumbs unwillingly for his dog. But I was not a beast and Eric wasn't sloppy I was soon to find out.

"You think you have it all figured out don't you?" his voice was soft. We we're waiting for Felicia to come back with the meal that I had no intention of even letting brush my lips.

I smiled at him briefly "I'm sure I don't know what you mean my lord," I murmured.

Eric lounged like a lion flicking his tail in anticipation. He made no reply and I nearly sighed in disappointment. I lived for the exchanges between us; that he was nearly my equal in intelligence was a truthhood to me.

His hand went to my lap and picked up the book I'd been reading. "A bit of light reading?" his eyes danced with amusement and something like interest. I shrugged with a smirk. "Your book, my time," I said cryptically.

He arched a brow "Indeed."

When the door opened boredom coated his expression and a little cruel joy. "Felicia," he began in a seductive way when she came in saddled with trays. Her eyes were glued to his face. "Master?"

"Bring the food over here," he pointed to a place near me. I watched her knowing that in me was a predator as much as in my intended. As soon as she set the food down I deliberately pick up a fork and brought it to my lips and smiled at her. Then I tipped the trays over one by one to the floor. "Pick it up slave," I command.

Her face became livid "No," she barked.

Eric stared at her "You heard her," he said softly. I hated myself in that moment. Something so ugly had been revealed about me. I nearly apologized to her before I remembered myself. I was Sookie and I don't say I'm sorry unless it makes sense to do so. This situation had called for cruelty and I had obliged. Slowly Felicia went to her knees and I looked away keeping my horror off my face. That Eric would see regret in my eyes was something that I refused to allow. He will now know that I won't suffer his dalliances with meekness. Eric wasn't watching Felicia any longer. His eyes were studying me with interest. "Wife to be would you like to whip the flesh off my slave?"

I stared down at Felicia "That sounds both delightful and boring," I replied. He laughed softly and kicked her. "Hurry up," he snapped. Felicia glanced up and the naked suffering in her face made me queasy.

She quickly gathered up the food she'd surely poisoned and left the room. Eric made no move to stop her.

This was a game of wits and I was the best at them I thought as he turned to me. "Boring? How can making someone suffer ever be?" I knew that the query wasn't exactly how he felt. It was a test, a showing of his plumage.

I shrugged with a tiny smile "Because I take no joy in lording over someone merely because I can, better to triumph in unexpected ways," I replied with a studied blank expression.

He studied me thoughtfully "Indeed?" it wasn't a question so I had no reply.

That he found me fascinating I took as my due. There was not yet a game I've played where I lost. There was not yet an opponent that I couldn't best. Perhaps that's why I had such a keen interest in him.

I stood and glanced his way "Goodnight my lord," I said.

He nodded and joined me he kissed my cheek. "Goodnight Sookie," he said softly. Was that affection in his eyes? I wasn't certain. I'm not terribly likeable I knew. Not unless I strove to make someone feel that way.

I looked into his eyes and my hand feathered his neck "You will hate loving me," I said quietly.

His expression was thunderstruck for a second before it cleared. "Will I?" a glimmer of cruelty gave his perfect features a hard cast. I nodded and left closing the door behind me. I heard the ringing of a bell and knew that my intended had called Felicia back to service him. I felt only a vague sense of jealousy. He was not yet mine so for a little longer yet I would suffer this.

I wondered as I went up the stairs if I should have said those words, repeated what he'd whispered to me. Then I decided that yes, it was right that he should know a little of what I knew. The better to control him. I have never loved anyone but my parents and Minnie.

My nature was and is ruthless and I dominated everyone. Eric was the first one who challenged me in my brief life. And I relished it. I went to sleep contented. I knew that he would try to make me his slave as surely as Felicia. But I wasn't a victim.

That I was falling in love with him was keenly felt when I saw him in the morn. He wore all black his clean shaven face a beacon to mine eyes. I vowed that love would find no fool in me. I have always been the master of my own emotions.

I wore a gown of crimson with cream lace at the bodice my beauty was my armor as I met his gaze. "Good Morning," he said pleasantly but I wasn't tricked. There was a bright cunning and meanness in his eyes.

I knew that he would now punish me for revealing that I'd heard him the other night. He stood and moved towards me and I repressed the shiver that ran through me. His hands closed over my small neck with great gentleness. "You are mine to kill," he said softly in my ear.

I went very still and glanced up at him "I am well aware," I replied with a steadfast expression.

His lids lowered like cream over a sea slowly he lowered his bright head to my throat. His kiss was exquisite. It was official. I was infatuated perhaps something even more. "You want me," he whispered as he took me gently from my chair and pressed me to him.

I said nothing as he tipped my head up to him and forced a kiss from me. But to say forced is a falsehood; my lips longed to touch his. The kiss, our first kiss rocked the core of my being. His tongue flicked out to the edges of my lips. I repressed a moan. His hand went viciously to my chin and forced my lips apart. "Mine," he said looking directly into my eyes.

The breath was taken from me in that instant. "In some ways," I replied.

"In all ways," he said his eyes fierce. His gaze lingered lovingly on my lips as he stepped back.

"Sit the fuck down," his voice was harsh and beautiful at the same time. The masculinity in it stirred me. His arrogance and dominance were like looking into a mirror.

I sat demurely with my head bowed "As my lord commands," I murmured. I felt his regard upon me as he raised his voice. "Minnie bring me some bacon."

My head reared up and I saw my beloved mammy enter the room fully. Her continence was blank and something in her eyes told me that she was not broken by her orders. Nothing would ever break Minnie; that she was the strongest person I have ever known had always been a personal truth.

She set his bacon before him and gave me an amused glance. Eric looked up "Thank you very much Minnie," his tone was sardonic. Minnie merely curtsied to him and went to stand on the edges of the room.

Breakfast passed and I noticed that Eric ate with a mechanical manner. He put each bite to his lips carefully and patted his mouth after each. I ate next to nothing as I didn't feel the need to pain myself. The food served to me was soft and easy to digest though and because I could feel his disproval I ate a little.

He set his fork down and looked me fully in the face. "I wonder about you," he said softly.

I smiled and lowered my lashes "Do you indeed?"

His hand so large and powerful threw his plate directly at a slave of his nearly striking Minnie. It was not accidental. It was a warning.

**AN: By the Way: I might do another chapter before bed. Let me know if you all want that. **


	10. I Learn That Even I Am Human

**AN: I am uncertain about this chapter but after much debate I will follow my instincts. This chapter is a gift to all of you for the wonderfully insightful and intriguing reviews that I received for the last update. **

I gathered my emotions and cleared my face. "Eric perhaps you were not aware that you nearly struck Minnie?"

His eyes glittered like stars "Oh, I hadn't noticed," his said mockingly. I cast my eyes down, my rage for a moment overwhelming me.

I lifted my head and stared at Minnie fear coursing through me. I had vastly underestimated my husband to be and his desire for dominance and the ruthless measures to which he would go to gain it. Slowly I stood keeping myself from rushing across the room to check my beloved mammy for injury. "If you'll excuse me my lord," I said moving from the table.

"But I don't," he returned quietly.

I turned and sat once more willing my eyes not to look at Minnie. "I wonder how Minnie would like working in my lovely fields," he murmured with an expression of limitless cruelty. I knew in that instant that I had made one of my first mistakes ever by revealing my knowledge of his whisper. My great arrogance and confidence had betrayed me. I inwardly shrugged and put it down to the impetuousness of youth. Something that until that misstep I had never suffered from.

He turned his head to her "Minnie do you enjoy the outdoors?" then he laughed.

My fear was plain in my face for a second. "No," I said firmly. Eric sighed and shoved his plates from him. "Oh that doesn't sound appealing to you?" I hated him and myself in that moment. He had honed in on my Achilles's heel. The one person that mattered more to me than my own life.

He flashed me a beautiful dagger like smile "I have decided that you will have your debut before we marry."

Odd joy settled into my mind for a second in the midst of my new hatred. "But we are to be married in just three days," I replied.

"Yes, I didn't say a long debut. I will throw a magnificent ball in your honor for two nights. I want you to have all the joy a girl your age should have before you join your life to mine," there was something oddly sincere in his voice. A look of tenderness was around his mouth.

I decided not to bring up Minnie and his threats, perhaps in time he would forget them. "I would be pleased by that my lord," I raised my eyes to him and smile sweetly. He was not fooled by it but I can see that he is charmed.

"How radiant you are," he said in a whisper. Minnie heard him and I saw her flash me a big smile. I nearly laughed and Eric scowled. "Something amusing?" he drawled.

I shook my head "No my lord I was merely overcome with excitement and joy about my unexpected debut that stems from your great generosity."

He knew if for the lie it was but allowed himself to be mollified. I had moved the rook in our game but who would check who was still in the air. Thanks to my grave mistake I was no longer completely certain that I would be the victor. I straightened my back and reminded myself of my own brilliance.

He was watching me from his heavy lidded eyes which were half-mast. "I will have the tailor come and this time I will deal with him solely, I have very precise ideas of the gowns you will wear."

I knew that he wanted to impress me with his taste. "How kind of you." I saw Felicia enter the room and I felt her eyes on me. It was time to take out the trash. I no longer had the patience to follow through with my plans in regards to her. I came to a decision then. I was I assured more than up to the task. My beauty would be my ally in this.

"There is something that I wish to discuss with you my lord, may we speak privately?"

Eric nodded and stood. We passed Minnie and Eric's hand swept to her head and patted it as if she were a dog. My jaw tightened painfully as I gritted my teeth. "Don't touch her," I snapped before I could stop myself as we were leaving the room. Where Minnie was concerned I could sometimes be reckless.

Eric stopped his stride and looked down at me "Don't ever tell me what to do," his voice sent shivers through me; he was dangerous and cruel and I belonged to him. Then amazingly he picked me up and threw me over his massive shoulder. I went still and didn't scream. This was meant to humiliate me. He would learn sooner rather later that I was not to be underestimated.

Nor would I underestimate him in the future. His hand curved to my bottom and he squeezed it possessively. That I was terribly attracted to him irritated me. Because now that he had threatened Minnie I felt such anger at him that it overwhelmed me.

We went to my great discomfort to his private chambers. He set me down gently. It was dark inside and he went to a table in his sitting rooms and lit an oil lamp and sat down. I sat across from him. "My lord I would ask a wedding boon from you," I said softly.

His brow arched and his lips twitched "Go on," his voice was toneless.

My cheeks flushed as I considered how to phrase this. "Felicia needs to be sold the moment I am wed to you."

Eric's eyes narrowed "Why?" his tone was soft but filled with deadly rage. That was something I had begun to suspect about him, that he had an ocean of wrath just begging to be released.

His long fingers tapped the tabletop as he waited for my reply. "Because she is disrespectful," I looked into his eyes "Frankly if I have to see the sight of her much longer I will kill her."

Eric sighed and ran his hand through his hair "It is not so simple darling," his tone was acid. "Furthermore I will not be ordered about by you."

"Jealous?" the question came with a cutting smile.

I kept my face cold "Don't flatter yourself."

His eyes trailed from mine to my lips "I never do because flattery implies a falsehood and I am certain of my appeal," it's clear that he wasn't referring to gaggle of fools that lusted for him. He meant me.

"Do you imagine that I will be faithful to you?" his eyes were so cruel and cold.

"I don't imagine much I'm afraid, as my mother once said I lack that ability. Instead I make happen what I desire," I replied with a steely edge to my husky southern voice.

His hand went to his chin and he stared at me for what felt like an endless moment. "I will not sell Felicia until I am done using her," he said blandly.

My hand moved without thought or connection to my will. The sound of my slap was like thunder in my ears. His head rocked slightly to the side. His brilliant sea blue eyes narrowed and he reached for me. I realized belatedly that I have erred once more when he made me rise and pinned me to the wall.

**AN: I realize that I have had Sookie make a number of mistakes in this chapter. But she is only human and Felicia is on her last nerve. Wouldn't you feel the same? I have my reasons though they are hidden to me of why the story took this turn. I am uncovering it, somewhere this story is already written by an alternate version of myself. Sookie is very young and her concern for Minnie has made her foolish. She is out of her depth with Eric to some degree. But she will soon find her feet once more. When things happen in my story that seem inconsistent sometimes it is for a while and then it starts to make sense, or I so hope. I just don't have a rigid control over my stories like most writers, it lives and I type. Anyway sorry for this long ramble. I hope at least that a few of you liked the chapter. I look forward to hearing from you+**


	11. Minnie's Love And His Mystery

I stared into my intended's ragefull eyes with a long quiver running over my skin. Now was the time for an apology. "My lord I cry your pardon, it was rash," I allowed the full extent of my fear to show in my voice hoping that the sound of my terror would be enough to halt his madness.

Eric's face was brooded with his fury "If you should ever once again strike me I will retaliate," a skittering look of sadness passed his eyes as if striking me was abhorrent to him. His regard lingered on my mouth and he darted his fair head to mine lips. It was a crushing brutal touch meant to punish me.

I refused to give in to my desire for him. I refused to give him what he wanted. My devotion, my love, which he received from nearly everyone. His hand swallowed my wrists in a vicious grip pinned above my head. "Please," I whispered.

"The time for pleading to my better nature has passed. The moment you struck me-he stared at me seemingly so enraged that he was at a loss. He wanted to rape me; I could see it in every nuance of his face and form. He wanted to destroy me. He released my wrists and stepped back, his breathing ragged. "You will learn in time that I won't be ruled," his voice is soft.

"Sit down," he gestured to a chair.

I did and peered up at him and he was so large that his body dominated my field of vision. His hands went to his hair and he pulled on it with a fierceness until it stood at odd angles. The gesture invoked some strange arousal and ache in my chest. It was so human.

Some inner part of me realized in that instant that there was something so godlike in him. He was the shadow of myself. His darkness lurked in my reflection. Eric was me made male. He was watching me searching my face intently. "There are reasons that I can't sell her beyond my own lust," he murmured.

I knew he wouldn't tell me of them but still the question came unbidden to my lips "Such as?"

Eric smirked "You will never know them," he looked away and a strange tenderness infused his face. I despised it and longed to wipe it from him. "My god you're in love with her," I said softly.

Eric looked astonished "With her?" the derision in his voice was genuine. He laughed then as if at some private joke.

"Moving on, as I was telling you, you may have my permission to rule all those who I own but not me," his tone was nearly affectionate. That he should know me so well in such a brief time period was odd.

"You may punish Felicia as you see fit for her disrespect but selling her is out of the question."

The answer seemed to ring in my head echoing endlessly. My anger felt endless. I said nothing willing myself to think before my traitor's tongue moved in haste. "Yes my lord," I said tonelessly.

"Scarring her flesh is also out of the question," he said staring into my eyes. His face grew reverent and I felt a sickness start in my stomach and spread into my mind.

"Why?" I hated myself for asking but I was annoyed at that expression.

Something flickered in his eyes "Do not question me further in this matter," he hadn't raised his voice and it wasn't necessary for him to do so. He was a soft spoken man given to mystery.

I nodded and watched as he lifted the hood of the lamp off and passed his hand through the vibrant flame that seemed to arouse him just as it wounded him. He glanced up and strange amusement was in the twist of his soft mouth. "Should she abuse your person alert me at once to it, I have methods to employ," a look of hunger tiptoed through his continence.

I kept my jealousy and revulsion off my face "Oh that won't be necessary my lord, you will find me quite creative and capable in defending my own person."

Eric seemed highly interested in my statement though the reason for that eluded me. "You don't take any care to hide your nature from me and I wonder why that is," his tone was gentle.

"Nearly every move you make, every word you utter comes from cunning," I felt that he was deliberately unmasking me and himself in that moment. He wanted me to know his mind in regards to me. Also I got the sense that he was merely thinking out loud.

"Leave me," he whispered as he set the glass over the light.

I curtsied to him as if he was a king and a fond smile crossed his lips. When I was at the door his voice halted me. "Sookie I do hope that you will enjoy your debut," I glanced back at him startled for a moment.

"I feel certain that I will Eric," a look of pleasure and irritation canted in his face. I knew that the sound of his Christian name coming from me was unusual and he both liked it and didn't.

I knew that something perverse in his spirit loved that I addressed him as my lord, that is why I nearly always did. Flies go to shit and honey with nearly equal lust but honey was more attractive and alluring to them. I knew that kindness or subservience had its uses. That I was a man in my mind I had always known. It aggrieved me that I had no rights and that those around me would forever seek to control me.

That the universe in its uncaring brutality had cursed me with my sex and gifted me with my beauty and brilliance was interesting and cruel. I closed the door behind me and padded on silent feet down the stairs. My father had always said that I walked like an Indian.

The better to hear and not be heard. It was something that I had always done naturally but I had cultivated it. Most moved without thought with the grace of a three legged donkey. He was right nearly everything I did I did with a consciousness. I was a cold person not given to emotion. With the exception of my father and Minnie. With a slowness and a piercing quality I recognized that Eric was slowly being included in my small circle of those that could move me to feel something.

The day passed with me in the library. Minnie came in and I gestured for her to sit down. "Minnie I was so foolish," I said softly. "I endangered you please forgive me." Minnie smiled like grass growing to the sun. "Chile you could never do a thing wrong," she said lovingly. "The lord will take me away from all this when it's his time."

She knew that I didn't believe in her God but that didn't stop her from adoring me. "Yes I did. I was a fool on many levels. I not only revealed something I heard him whisper but I also showed him what you mean to me."

Minnie waved one beautifully aged hand in the air. "Yous young Sookie and young people make mistakes. I don't mind him making me his target, I will never mind his taking his rage out on me." I hear what she is saying and my love for her overwhelmed me. I know in that moment that we would readily take bullets for one another.

"I will do everything in my power to make sure you don't have to work in the kitchens anymore."

Minnie shook her head "No, I like it."

Her reply leaves me thunderstruck. "But why?"

She shrugged and looked into the cold hearth. "Because it gives me more purpose," she turned her head to me and our eyes met. "I'm a slave chile and nothing will ever change that and I will never allow myself to forget it. Working there makes me even stronger."

Her words are intriguing and the inherent mettle of them interests me and soothes me at the same time.

A bell sounded from the beyond the window and she rose and looked down at me. "I love you more than my own beating heart," she whispered leaning to kiss my brow.

"And I you Minnie," I folded my arms around my favorite person and my dark soul burned with love.

**AN: This might be a two installment day maybe even a three installment day. Review if it pleases you to do so. I am having the best time of my life writing this story. I adore all of you and your precious thoughts on this tale. Ok I have to clean my house today but hopefully I can get one more update in. Oh and P.S. Felicia won't always be around. I have a scene in mind with her. She also will be absent from the coming chapters for the most part. I'm sick to death of that snotty bitch. I have my reasons for my why she has featured so heavily in this story but have on fear she will exit the story at some point. Bear with me people.  
><strong>


	12. My Vicious Laughter

**AN: I know I run the risk of tiring all of you with these rapid updates. I apologize but I can't seem to stop myself, I am dying to know what happens next. I broke a promise of sorts to you, but it couldn't be helped.  
><strong>

That night at supper Eric was in a strange mood. He seemed preoccupied and his face was drawn with a mysterious sadness. "My lord something troubles you," I said quietly.

His eyes drifted to my face and he seemed startled at my presence as if he'd forgotten my existence. He had barely touched his food, occasionally his fork pushed it around the gold edged plates. "I am troubled Sookie," the raw anguish in his voice interests me and moves me.

"Would you share your burden with me?" with a jolt I recognized the sincerity of my voice and it sickened me. Eric shook his head and a hard glimmer came to those bewitching eyes of his. His long black lashes lowered and his face bowed from my sight.

It was as if he wished to be invisible. Beside his plate was the diseased orchid from the other day. It sat like a little ghoul and seemed to watch Eric's face with its pollinated eyes. Was that plant the reason for his despair? Eric as if he'd heard my thought looked at the plant and his elegant hand reached for one of its blackened petals with such infinite tenderness.

I felt so very fascinated by him in that moment. He lifted the plant close and held it to his face and released a long heavy sigh. Then his eyes narrowed behind its petals and he smirked. "No doubt this seems strange to you _darling_," he murmured. He was terribly self-aware that much was clear. He knew he was odd and he reveled in it. Using his own aberrations to toy with those around him.

He set the plant down and his evilness was back. He glanced over at Minnie with a thoughtful eerie detachment. I hated him so very much in that instant. I wanted to throw my plate at his head and kill him for even daring to look in her direction. He felt the touch of my eyes because he turned his head and gave me a vicious smile.

"Something troubling you honey?" his tone makes the trite endearment an insult and a mockery of true affection.

I wiped the desire for homicide from my face "No not at all my lord." He saw that it was a lie. I felt naked before his knowledge of me.

Felicia sauntered in and Eric beckoned her close. She came with her brilliant eyes agleam with satisfaction. His big hand curved around her waist and he drew her down and whispered something in her ear. She laughed softly and her golden hand ruffled his hair.

My indifference with which I ordinarily conduct myself is tested in that instant. I long to claw out both of their eyes and feed them to a mangy dog. Eric pushed Felicia away with such coldness that it chilled my mind. Then he cast me a knowing look full of his darkness.

"I suppose that little display was meant to wound me?" I sounded so bored and I felt proud of myself. "You are becoming a bore," I told him.

Eric's head tilted to the side and his eyes slitted. "If you want to live out the rest of your days you will never again say that to me," I knew that he prided himself on being interesting and I've cut him to the quick.

I shrugged and gave him a blank look full of weariness for his person. His hand clenched and I could feel his urge to kill me.

His eyes cut to Minnie and I straighten in my chair. "You adore that negro don't you Sookie?" his voice was evil in its deliberation each word like a knife stroke in my ears. Also I thought I heard a taint of jealousy in his voice.

I said nothing and kept my eyes on Minnie's. Finally he looked away from my mammy and stared at me. "I wonder if you would find it boring if I sold her."

I blinked at him "No I wouldn't find it boring but I would find it immensely predictable and infantile," my tone is the blandest I've ever made it.

Eric scowled and I knew that again I had struck a nerve. He smiled then and it was dazzling in its beauty and coldness it put me in mind of snow. "Very well Sookie, then I won't sell her," his head turned to Minnie "I'll have to endeavor to be creative," he added softly.

I felt a chill go through me and I knew that Minnie's life was in my hands. That my heart should belong to someone so helpless in my world wounded me deeply, it always had. If I could remake her, she would be white and she would be my true mother. "Your dresses are ready for you to try on if you wish," he said abruptly. There was something like eagerness in his expression. I was sharply reminded of the way his face had looked when the old slave woman had said that his balm had helped. His boyish endearing confusing pride.

"So soon?"

He nodded "Augustus is an officious little troll but he does his work well."

I laughed then and the real amusement in it startled both of us. Eric's head canted to the side and he sighed. "I want you to laugh more, I like it," he said softly. He seemed incredibly interesting to me for a second and I felt the return of that awareness of looming love for him that was coming at any moment to my heart.

He stood and gestured for me to stand. What he did next made me nearly swoon with affection. He picked up his full plate and walked over to Felicia and dumped the contents of it on her. "There now you look the part," he said gently. He glanced over at me and I saw anticipation; he wanted me to laugh. So I obliged and felt like the devil himself doing so.

His hand drifted to my cheek and real and immediate fondness lived in his gaze.

"Come along Sookie I would talk privately," he said to Felicia which made me titter meanly.

Felicia stood there drenched in French sauces and mashed potatoes and I despised myself for the vicious joy that the sight created in me. Eric took my hand and led me to the study.

We sat before a new born fire and he glanced over at me thoughtfully. The mannequin from before was in the room to the side of us. On it hung the most interesting and beautiful gown I'd ever seen. It was gold lace with a sheer cream fabric behind it on top and the skirts were crafted of velvet in an amber shade. The neckline was oddly high and demure. I stood and walked over to it and when I went behind it I saw something that made my breath catch. There was no back to the gown. "Eric this is stunning but I will scandalize everyone in it," I said touching the wooden back of the mannequin.

Eric laughed "Indeed, you will make the women long to claw you apart and the men will ache with desire." His face was wreathed with amusement and pride. I walked over to him in my soundless way and leaned down and kissed his cheek. "Thank you my lord," I whispered.


	13. My Mother's Soul On My Tongue

A sharp intake of breath was heard as my lips touched his cheek. I wondered as I stepped back from him if the pride I'd glimpsed in his face was for me or his own sense of taste. I sat beside him and he was watching me intently. I felt coveted and delicate under the embrace of his regard.

I knew in that twinkling of time that we're equally compelled by each other. We sat in silence for a long time. I have never been one to fill the air with nonsense like so many useless southern women. I loathe most women in fact all women with the exception of Minnie and the memory of my dead mother.

Eric turned his head to me and his face was a work of art brilliantly displayed by the fire's touch upon it. "The ball will begin tomorrow afternoon," he informed me. I nodded and said nothing. His eyes when they went to me were filled with an impetuous joy. His hands came together with an air of glee.

I wondered about his real motivations for my brief debut. He continued to fascinate me. "Are you ready to confess how it is you came to know of me?" I asked abruptly.

Eric's profile revealed a smirk that quickly vanished. "No," he paused. "I might never be."

I put an expression of disinterest on my face when really I'm dying to know. "Fine," I muttered ungraciously. He laughed quietly and his hand went to the arm rest and he stroked it.

I stood and bowed mockingly to him. "I will take my leave of you my lord," I murmured.

Eric nodded and gazed up at me with unique tenderness "Sleep well little doll," he sighed out. An expression of longing settled into his features. Again I feel myself falling madly violently in love.

That night I ask Minnie to sleep beside me. Her soft snoring was music to my ears. The beating of her heart thundered in my soul. I turned and watched her dear face in an errant strand of moonlight that had escaped the velvet curtains.

I knew as a deep truth that I would die for her. There was nothing in this world that I would not profane to protect her. No one in this savage time that I would hesitate to murder to keep her safe. She was mine and I was hers. I cradled her close to me and felt the touching softness of her kinky hair. Into dreams I went; even in my sleep I missed her.

That night I had a very sad dream. I was standing in a field of dying orchids. My mother stood before me yet in the distance surrounded by their decaying splendor. I moved towards her and the breeze feathered her blond hair back. She opened her arms to me and I began to run to her. Slowly as I neared her face turned into bone and her flesh began to rot.

Still I came eager for her. I folded around her body and smelled the scent of her aged grave about her. "Mother," I whispered. She stroked my head gently "Sookie how nice of you to come see me," she returned.

We sat down and I tried not to feel disgusted when her mouth rotted from her face as she spoke. "Time is nothing but a dream and your life is a memory of death," she said softly. A stray gust made me shiver when I replied. "You never spoke so strangely before Mother, has death made a poet of you?"

She nodded and I tried to shape her face with my will into what it had once been. It didn't work and she remained a dead thing with vibrant eyes whose imitation lived in my skull.

She snapped her bony hands and a tea cup appeared and then another. She poured out her bile and putrescent juices into them from her lipless mouth. She handed one to me and I accepted with a queasy face.

I tipped it to my mouth from a feeling of devotion and love. To my surprise it tasted of strawberries and wheat. It was divine. "Mother how does the juice of your corpse taste so delightful?"

She laughed and it was so like her that it sent a biting sensation to my blood. "Oh that's easy, it's my soul that you drink."

I leant to the side and hugged her around the waist "Minnie is in danger mother," I said into her ear. She gave a gasp. "You must do what you can to protect her now that I am gone."

I nodded and felt her ear lobe fall into my lap. "I always knew that you would never love me the way you do her," her confession rocked me.

I felt tears gather in the pulpy orbs we must call our eyes "You did? I'm sorry mother."

She smiled and it was gruesome and tender "Love has all sorts of levels and layers, you can never love two people the same," she turned her head to me. "Be careful Sookie, the man you are to join your life to-she broke off and looked into the distance with a dreamy appropriate expression. "Yes?" I prod.

"There are oceans of rage that were born from unseen moments beneath his perfection," she stood and gathered her ear lobe and pushed it back onto her head. "Be good and strong Sookie as I was."

Then she became milky and vanished. I awoke with tears on my cheeks and a song of longing in my cold heart.

The desire to escape my flesh encapsulated me as I felt my own mortality. It pained for the first time in my short life that I had not even a shred of belief in an afterlife. I wondered idly as I rubbed circles onto Minnie's back if my intended believed in hell. For surely if it existed that was where he would go. But then the moments of queer kindness in his behavior shaped my thoughts. His bizarre extravagant care of his slaves.

Suddenly a memory of his face that I didn't remember seeing at the time came into my mind and rested behind my closed eyes; Eric standing in a shaft of colored light in that astounding cathedral he built for them to worship in. How stunning the lines of his face were. Ordinarily beauty is nothing to me but something that I see in the mirror each morning but when I glimpsed that caught moment retrieved it mattered to me. His beauty moved me so deeply.

I felt a strain in my jaws as I resisted the love I felt growing as if it were a parasite in my chest. It sought to suck my will from me. It sought my very essence with lovely gauntleted hands.

I sat up as I heard footsteps coming towards the door. The door opened and a saw a slave woman I'd never seen entered. She was so old as to be ancient her skin was akin to parchment.

"May I enter Mistress," she croaked in a faded cadence. I nodded and she came fully into the room. I held a finger to my lips and motioned to Minnie. She understood and waited patiently by the entrance.

I led her to the sitting room next to my bed chamber. She walked with a cane made from a cypress branch. It was as twisted as her eyes and made a dull ringing in my ears with each step she took. I lit a lamp with a candle's flame. I sat down at the small reading table and waited for her to speak.

When she did I recognized her voice to be the one that had hidden from my sight when Felicia had been bemoaning Eric's lack of love for her.

"Felicia intends to kill you Mistress," she whispered.


	14. My Gloating Dinner Companion

"And why would you reveal this to me, you her confidant?" I asked watching the old woman.

Her irises were yellow with age and too many bouts of malaria and when she spoke it was as if the wind had been given a mouth. "Yours is not the first life she's taken. And I had a dream," the last part is cryptic but unimportant.

I assumed that Felicia had murdered others who had drawn my intended eyes. "I thank you for the warning. I will deal with this. What is your name?"

"Elysian, Mistress," she rose and bowed stiffly. "She'll pepper your food with poison most likely since you eat different foods than the Master," she croaked.

I nodded and she departed. I had Minnie to see to it that Felicia didn't get anywhere near my food. That she had the same name as the home I stood in wasn't lost to me.

Minnie was standing in the doorway between my sitting room and bed chamber. "So you heard?"

"Every word," she replied. She sat down and her lashes rose and her brown eyes were fierce. "You got a plan?"

I tapped my fingers "No not yet," I rose and got my trunk that had been stored under the bed. Inside was a hidden compartment and I pressed the spring of it and it came open to reveal a small revolver with a pearl handle and my initials engraved. Father had given it to me on my seventh birthday when he'd seen my fascination with his collection.

I was a crack shot with it. It was an unusual gun as it was a Colt Paterson and it held five rounds. It was small enough to fit into one of the pockets of a dress. I got dressed in the mourning gown that I hadn't worn since mother died. It still smelled of the lavender that had been in the air around her coffin. The reason I chose it was because the cut of it and the depth of pockets would conceal the pistol.

Minnie saw me stow it in my skirts. "She won't be able to get within a quarter mile of your food," she told me. I smiled at her and kissed her cheek. "I am quite certain of that much Minnie."

We left the room and I went down the stairs and saw Eric emerging from some room down the hall. He was resplendent in a tightly tailored black coat and blue shirt that set of the color of his eyes. His trousers were form fitting as well outlining his powerful legs to great advantage.

He seemed vigorous and hale as his eyes met mine. "Good morning dearest," he murmured.

I curtsied to him and he took my arm and we went into the hot house to my surprise where a small table had been set up. The sun was nearly white with the clouds that draped it. The air was full of moisture and I felt my hair began to turn to even more riotous curls.

Eric flicked two fingers at waiting slaves "Bring in the food please."

I noticed that he sometimes used courtesy with them, when he wasn't throwing things at them. Minnie delivered my food personally and winked as she set my favorite food before me; bread pudding. That there wasn't a drop of poison in it I was certain.

Eric had been looking at us and he frowned when she winked. But he said nothing as he picked up a piece of bacon and chewed with a brooding air. I had noted that he had an unusual fondness for bacon, in fact he had it with every meal.

"Why are you dressed in mourning?" his voice broke through my thoughts.

I toyed with my pudding "I had a dream of death," I said.

He seemed intrigued but as if he'd decided not to pursue the matter. "I see."

I considered telling Eric then and there of Felicia's intentions but something stopped me. Was it pride? I'm not certain.

Breakfast was over then and Eric took me to the study where a different dress hung on the mannequin this time. It was a vivid shade of emerald shot through with beads of amber when I checked it had a back. It was nearly demure compared to the other one. But exquisite nonetheless. "This is the other one, you won't be wearing this one today though, this is for the last evening."

He patted my backside "Run along and get ready, I will send Felicia up."

I straightened "No, Minnie will be doing my hair from now on."

Eric stared at me for a long moment "Very well, although she doesn't have the skill set necessary to style a lady of your standing."

I bristled "That's not true."

He stepped close to me and his hand went to my long curls "It's like autumn," he said softly, slowly he gathered up a handful to his face and drew in a deep breath.

He released it and left me without another word or glance.

I retrieved Minnie from the kitchens and we made our way to my chambers. Though I usually didn't wear a corset I did this time to bring fullness to my rather small bust. The dress was like a flame in the dimness of the room. The sleeves were narrow and long with points at the wrists. So unlike any dress of that time. Most had sleeves of an exaggerated fullness with two layers one short and the other long.

I wore pantaloons under the hoop that would bell the skirts out around my waist. My back was milky white when I turned without flaw. The neckline was high just at the base of my throat the gold lace of the top bringing out the same hue in my eyes. Minnie hated the fashion of the day with hair as did I. She took a length of lace in a cream color and wove it into my long French braid along with pearls. My braid hung down past my waist and she pulled long curling strands to frame my face.

When I peered into the mirror I knew myself to be exquisite. "I wish I could see the look on the men folk's faces when they see you," Minnie said wistfully.

I glanced over "I will make certain that you are in attendance." Minnie flashed me a big smile and I knew that the lust they would have for me would make her day.

A bell rang from the front of the house. The first guest had arrived. It was customary for a picnic before the ball but Eric had made no mention of such a thing. But surely we wouldn't commence dancing until dark.

When I came down the stairs with my Mammy besides me a man stood in the foyer. He was beautiful in a strange way. His eyes were gray, his hair black. The whole of his face was arresting rather than traditionally handsome. He was engaged in a heated conversation with Eric. I could have sworn I heard Felicia's name. He had a look of boredom and interest both on his face.

He heard me when I entered the room. He went absolutely still. "This is your betrothed?"

Eric glanced over at me and his face whitened "Indeed," he breathed. He moved towards me and kissed me deeply and inappropriately. I wanted to kiss him back and smack him at the same time. I stepped back and Eric glanced over at the man. "She's in the chamber," he said softly. I stiffened and knew he spoke of the room that I'd been forbidden to enter and that he was referring to his mistress.

"Come the afternoon meal will be set out soon," he took my arm and led me from the foyer past the room that I'd been forbidden to enter. I could hear two voices speaking softly. "Who is that man you spoke with?"

Eric wasn't looking at me but an air of amusement infused his profile "A friend and enemy."

We went to the east wing which I'd never entered and he'd never shown. We came to a vast dining room where a table so large filled my vision. Eric led me to the head of the table where he sat.

He gestured to his left and I sat. "Mustn't we greet our guests?"

He cast me a look full of mirth and disdain. "I greet them? Why would I do that?"

I toyed with the bright silverware "Because it's customary, they will think us rude."

Eric shrugged and flicked a hand to a slave that stood nearby "Bring me cheeses and wine," then he turned the full power of his eyes on me. "I will not be ruled by convention Sookie," his voice made the statement at once educational and a reprimand.

"They can be greeted by slaves," he added curtly.

"You look so delicious," his words and his tone sent shivers through me. His hand went to my back and one fingertip trailed from my neck down to where the fabric began again near my backside.

I nearly moaned before I remembered myself. I would be the one person who wouldn't become a fool of desire for him. Even if the whole of me longed for his touch.

He watched me for a long moment; his eyes speculative. The cheeses and wine arrived. It was a white wine appropriate for day time consumption. It was if I wasn't mistaken a French Chardonnay.

The door was thrown open and when I looked up I saw Felicia gaudy and brilliant in a bright green gown with a plunging neckline and a slit going up the side. Next to her stood the black haired man from the foyer. He had eyes only for her and hers were only for Eric.

Eric glanced at her dismissively and possessively with one hand he gestured for Felicia to sit at the other end of the table with her companion. "You would have her dine with us?" my voice was a hiss.

My intended gave me an amused look "I have my reasons dearest. It amuses me to do so. Do not question me."

I bowed my head and felt the cold burning of her gaze. Hazel eyes met green and I knew that soon I would empty the gun in my purse fully into that poisonously beautiful face. That I would win was never a doubt.

**AN: I hope this chapter was good for you all. This is the third version and I simply can't rewrite it any longer. I might if I get the chance and she is with me, write another chapter today. This story is trying to hide from me as Virtue once did. I realize that my chapters are short and I can't seem to make them longer. Felicia will be dealt with soon I swear.  
><strong>


	15. A New Person Of Interest

**AN: A reviewer complained in a most gracious way that although she is enjoying the story that it is dragging at a snail's pace. I can't help that overly much but I will endeavor to push for longer chapters or a progression of time to the events. It's my belief that although this pace might be frustrating that it does serve a purpose. I am building these characters like sculptures a layer at a time. But as I said I will be working on speeding things up. Anyway let's get into it shall we? **

Felicia pretended interest in the gorgeous man beside her. The man gave off an air of brooding rage and great gentleness. Similar to Eric. I found myself watching him carefully. Eric's hand closed over my wrist and I glanced up to see deep ragefull jealously in his eyes. "If you continue to watch him I will blow his brains out in front of all these fools," his voice was soft and fluttered into my ear.

I laughed and attempted to wrench my wrist from his grasp "Fuck you my lord," I whispered.

Then I turned my eyes back to the man who was madly in love with Felicia. My interest in him hadn't been calculated but it was now. Eric's expression for the instant before I began watching the man again was thunderstruck. I felt his gaze on me when the man lifted his head and his gray eyes widened. A faint smile crossed his mouth and he cast Eric a brief mysterious glance.

The guests were still giving Felicia long looks of disapproval. It seemed that Eric was above convention due to his beauty and wealth. His eccentricities were forgiven since he was one of them fully. That he had been born into this class was clear.

The men in the room were torn between staring at me or Felicia. That she was my equal in allure was most irritating. Eric's hand covered my eyes suddenly as my eyes were caught looking into the man's steely gaze. "Do not push me Sookie," he snapped quietly.

I dipped my head back "Why not Eric? You have absolutely no respect for me and flaunt your mistress before me and all our guests showing to them that you are a disrespectful rake and something of a lunatic ."

His eyes so brilliant as if they were the sky and sea married in a storm narrowed. His hand feathered to my neck as if in a caresses but I wasn't fooled it wasn't anything tender it was a warning.

Minnie came in laden with dishes for me. She set soft foods before me. She lifted the dishes and I saw hot cakes and eggs. She knew my favorite foods are always of a breakfast sort.

Eric gave her an infinitely cold glance full of cunning "Minnie how are enjoying your evening?" his tone was mild and even.

Minnie kept her eyes on the tabletop "Very much sir, I was wondering if I might have the pleasure of serving your grand guests later at the ball." I was astonished that she would be so bold. Minnie was the soul of subservience and respect when it came to her masters. I was surprised with the sophistication of her vernacular. I'd always known that she was capable of it but usually in the presence of her master she spoke as a normal slave. I wondered about that.

Eric's dark lashes lowered till the blue flare of his eyes was partially obscured. He turned his head to me "Would this please you?" the question was calculated and he knew my answer.

"Yes it would my lord," I murmured. I did it for Minnie I knew she so wanted to be there.

"And you will bow to my dominance for the rest of the evening?" he asked silkily.

Stiffly I nodded hating that he knew only so well how to control me. Minnie was my strings which made me a puppet. "Very well Minnie you may attend."

Minnie flushed with pleasure but the meaning of our little exchange wasn't lost to her and she shot me a look of apology. My hand went to hers and I patted it. We knew each other so well that it wasn't necessary for words at times.

My lordship's eyes missed nothing and his lush mouth curved into a faint cruel smile.

Felicia's voice carried over the resplendent heads suddenly "She's a backwater ninny I've told you, there's nothing remotely interesting about her."

The man glanced over at me with that ghostly smile and winked. I knew in that instant that he was vastly aware of Felicia's nature and he loved her not because of it but despite it. He also told me with that glimpse that he wanted her because he knew that her heart would forever belong to Eric.

The guests fell silent in a rush looking from me to Felicia as they had been all night. A voracious appetite for my suffering was plain in their faces. I kept my expression as snowy as the northern winters.

Eric was seething with some strange rage and he rose and walked over to Felicia and back handed her. The black haired man was watching with a furious mien. "Keep your mouth closed you vacuous whore," his voice was heard by everyone.

Then he flashed all the guests a dazzling smile "Dinner is over, follow my slaves to the ballroom."

Even though the attendants weren't finished eating, they stood and followed two slaves from the room. Eric wore a suit of black with a velvet shirt of crimson underneath it. It was so like the outfit he'd worn in my gruesome dream of skeletons in livery that it sent shivers through me.

He took my arm in a light grip and led me from the dining area down a flight of stairs that rose from a round room. To a subterranean room we came. This was the ballroom and my breath caught in my throat as I took it in.

Mirrors adorned the ceiling. The room was round and painted with a diorama of battle. That there should be such a scene of savagery in a place of merriment was yet another testament to my intended's odd sense of proprietary. Suits of armor surrounded the guests. And swords melded together to form the chandelier. A group of colored musicians began a waltz and our guests came timidly from the walls to enter the dance floor fully.

Their gowns were brilliant with color like a flock of civilized birds. Their faces were excited and flustered as if they couldn't believe that they were finally inside Eric's home.

Eric wrapped his hands around my waist and led me into the dance. His eyes on me were full of adoration and anger. A more mysterious look I've never been given. I knew as I peered up at him with my huge eyes that I was so in love with him it made me physically ill. I hated him in that moment when he bent his bright head and his sensual mouth touched my neck and it sent a thrill through me.

"You will bend to my will little darling if it's the last thing I achieve," he murmured in his seductive way.

I lifted my thick long lashes that have been bewitching men for ages and smiled at him "We shall see my lord," I replied as the dance ended.

I moved to a side table laden with treats as Eric called them. I plucked a grape to my lips with deliberation. I wanted the pain of eating to awaken me from the spell he'd cast on my heart.

A shudder passed through me as I felt the edges of a headache come on. A soft voice near me made me turn. It was the black haired man. He took my hand into his massive one with great delicacy. Slowly his sooty head bowed and his lips brushed my knuckles. "Madame I am honored to finally meet you," I knew as his eyes met mine that there was a meaning here. He wasn't talking about the hours that had passed since we'd first seen each other.

He had known of my existence before I had known of his. "Are you indeed sir?" I put the full unusual charm of my husky voice to use.

"Indeed I am," he replied in his deeply masculine voice that had a tinge of Virginia to it.

Felicia flounced up to us "Cole get away from her," she snapped.

His gray eyes flashed to her with irritation and indulgence "Don't be a jealous shrew, Felicia it doesn't become you," his eyes were on me and they were filled with amusement.

Eric's hands closed over my shoulders brutally "He's right _dearest_, it doesn't," Eric said to her. His moonlight covered head dipped to my ear. "Get the fuck away from Cole," he whispered.

I deliberately looked at Cole and leaned forward under my intended's touch and kissed his cheek. Felicia's hand rose into the air and she slapped me. The music stopped suddenly and all eyes turned to me and her.

Eric released me and strode the short space and put backhanded her to the floor. He snared her wrist and dragged her from us. "Cole I will be taking her to the chamber," he said quietly.

Cole nodded and turned back to me "I take it you haven't seen the room that he guards so fiercely?"

I nodded and he smiled "Pray that you never do Sookie," his tone was soft but filled with lust and disdain. I was fascinated with the man before me.

When Eric returned he was alone and I had sat down with my new friend and we were deeply engaged in conversation. Eric's face was dark with fury as he came to stand before us. "Must you always flock to what is mine?" he drawled icily.

Cole glanced up and I noticed that he had lashes as long and thick as Eric's. "But of course, your taste is exquisite," he answered smoothly.

**AN: Ok I tried to make it longer. I will most likely update again in the morning. I hope that not all of you share that reviewer's frustration with this story. **


	16. A Swooning

**ME Here: Just wanted to say that the reviews for this story get better and better. I have just as many questions as all of you. **

It was the circling of two predators I thought as Eric stared down at his friend who was also his enemy. "I wonder when you will finally come to discover your own things cousin," Eric murmured.

"Cousin?" I echoed.

Cole nodded "Yes we are double cousins, don't ask," he returned softly. "I am merely passing pleasantries with your betrothed. I apologize if I've given offense," his tone was bland and elegant. I began to notice that though he was dark where my intended was fair his features had the same sort of perfection of Eric's. The proud nose and full mouth. Even the cheekbones were similar both high and soft yet sharp.

They were both incredibly sensual. Eric's eyes cut to me "Cole will be staying with us for a time darling and I suggest that you learn to curb your infatuation with him," with that he wrenched me to my feet and we whirled into a dance.

"My lord why will Cole be staying with us when you so obviously loathe him?"

Eric glanced down at me with a flickering smile "What gave you that idea? Far from it, he's one of my favorite people," in the words I sensed truthfulness but also a quality of mockery for both me and himself.

"And he will only be staying to see our marriage take place, grandfather insisted," he added. A petulant expression crossed his face when he said the last address.

"Why do you share your whore with him?"

His grip about my waist tightened painfully "Take care lady with your viper's tongue and bright curiosity," he paused and his jewel like eyes grew hooded as he looked upon my lips. "Some things are best left buried."

He stepped back from me as a young man came forward and presented his card to me for me to attach to my wrist. I accepted with a smile that I neither felt nor wished to give. I wanted only to aggravate Eric. The young gentleman was soft and pudgy and his odor was cloying as if he'd shit himself.

When he reached for me I nearly recoiled. I saw my intended eyes glimmer with amusement. He was deeply aware of the differences between himself and my partner in dance. He was tall the other short. He was beautiful and the other so ugly and soft that it made me sick.

I allowed his arms to circle my waist and he whirled me clumsily onto the dance floor. I danced effortlessly; I had always been a master of nearly all dance. His small feet smashed mine. I was reminded of a chimp in livery as I avoided his dull brown gaze. "So Sookie isn't it?" his voice was coarse and irritating. I nodded with a bored expression. Since he didn't matter I took no care to pretend interest. And I knew that any such effort would be wasted because Eric would never be fooled that I would find someone so repugnant interesting.

"My name is Timothy Jestion," he informed with a proud flush to his face. I must have had a question concerning his odd look of pride on my face for he went on "My father owns the biggest plantation in Louisiana beside Northman's. We got loads of money and my momma has jewels the size of those big eyes of yours," he was gushing and I noticed that his breath had a smell of prawns.

"You are disgusting sir, please excuse me," my tone was cold just like me. That I hate everyone has always been known to me. I expected to have no friends in this new life just as I had had none in my previous one.

Eric lounged against the wall watching me partially with his gaze splitting time between a woman possessing a plain face and wrinkled bosom. She was old and gross. The vast amusement was clear in his features as he stood there with a bored utterly dead cast to his perfect face. He pointed down at her and the threw his arms up in the air with an expression of mock despair.

I couldn't help it I laughed so hard that I felt tears come to my eyes. Again my poisonous love for him grew in leaps and bounds. I despised him as well but more and more that emotion was waning.

Eric's face brightened with adoration for my laughter and he ignored the matron and walked towards me with such power. I wanted him with every inch of me. He was mine.

A large yet beautiful woman stepped from behind a damask curtain and began to sing a surpassingly lovely song in French. A language that I am devastatingly fluent in. I also speak Italian with some grace and I can read and write Latin. But enough of my education.

My betrothed guided me to some chairs and we sat. His hands went to his lap and I was captivated by their pale beauty. They were long fingered artistic yet the power inherent in them was unmistakable.

I longed to feel them on my body. My desire for him nearly overwhelmed when he cast his languorous regard to me. "I'm bored," he said softly.

"Aren't you always?" I retorted with a tiny smile.

He laughed and the sound for once wasn't cruel or cold. It was so wonderful to hear. "Yes mostly except-he broke off and gave me a meaningful look as his eyes said what his lips refused.

"If you ever again kiss Cole I will hang Minnie by her toes and torture her while you watch," it was said so casually that it sickened me. I felt a terrible wavering of my vision and I swooned for the first time in my life. Some distant part of myself heard a high pitched male scream and then Eric's sharp voice following "Shut up idiot, get out of the way," his commanding tone sent tremors through me. I was awake yet not.

I was asleep but aware. When my eyes opened I was gazing into his face which was carved with concern and affection. "You're awake," he said softly. His hand trailed up to my cheek and lingered there for a second. A clock chimed from some corner of his chambers. I was I realized with a jolt in his bed and that my hoop was gone from under my skirts.

I pulled from his touch "Don't touch me," I snapped. I was so furious with him for threatening Minnie and for my own dark obsession and lust for him that it made me ill.

Eric's heavy lidded eyes shone in a stray bit of candlelight "Fine I won't," he held up his hands to the air. "You are doubtless angry about my statement regarding your precious mammy," he murmured tonelessly.

My face betrayed me and tears gathered in my eyes "I have been such a fool, I showed you what she means to me and you use my love against me at every turn," before I know it I'm turning from him and weeping. I felt his arms go about me as he settled down beside me.

"Sookie there, there," he said softly stroking my braid. "How else am I to get control of you when everyone else is meaningless to you?" I stiffened in his embrace and turned to face him within the cage of his arms. "How did you know that?"

One hand so large that it could cover the whole of my face lifted my braid and brought it to his lips. He inhaled my magnolia scented hair and smiled with a touch of sadness mingled with joy. "I know so much about you," he whispered.

I flinched as if slapped "How?"

He took my braid and wrapped it around my throat twice and tightened it in warning. "Do not question me further, suffice to say that I am a keen observer." I knew that was both the truth and a lie.

He rolled on top of me for a moment and pinned my arms down. Fear and something else coursed through my limbs. "Please, there is our guests to consider," I protested.

Eric smiled coldly "I sent them away, they're a bunch of bloated boring corpses that walk around as if they have import," he fell silent watching me "But you and I know better don't we darling?"

I turned my face away frightened that he should see my love for him there.

**AN: This will be a two or three update day if I can get away from boring shit that I have to suffer through. Also I can't promise anything but I think I just might be on the cusp of updating the Incubus story. **


	17. The Plant's Death and Our Lonliness

Eric peered down at my turned face "Look at me," he snarled. That his voice should contain so much raw emotion startled me. Slowly our eyes met. "Get off of me, you disgust me," my hand swung up to hit him. He snared it in a grip of iron. "I warned you didn't I?"

A look of intense pain and sadness passed on his exquisite face as his hand rose to strike me. Slowly it came down to stroke my cheek. "Sookie," he breathed while his head lowered to my lips. The kiss was at once possessive, brutal, tender. I trembled against his crushing weight. I bit his lip savagely "I hate you," I hissed.

"If you think I will kiss those lips that have said such a ghastly thing concerning Minnie, you are mistaken."

Eric's eyes that I see at night when I close mine narrowed "You would deny me the rights of a bride groom?" his tone was soft but the depth of his rage was plain.

I nodded stiffly "Yes now get off me."

His hands so near my vulnerable neck clenched. "I will only be denied for so long my love. I will not bend to you," he said moving off me. "Get out of my sight," the utter coldness of the command sickened me.

I gathered up my dignity and inherent coldness knowing only too well that they hid nearly nothing. His voice sounded in my ears like the uncoiling of a serpent. "Sookie what dreams come when the day is done?" the question is so unexpected and lyrical that I forget my anger at him for a second.

With my back to him I replied. "I dream of death and skeletons decked out in jewels," with that I left.

I made my way to Minnie's room. She was at a small table similar to my own. Her dark head was bound in a scarlet cloth. She was reading. "Hello," I said at the door. Minnie's head raised and she gave me a warm embrace with the curve of her beloved lips.

I sat down across from her and tears filled my eyes "I'm in love with him Minnie."

Minnie nodded "Of course you is child," at my expression of astonishment her laugh was soft. "Sookie I been knowing your heart and mind before you do for so long," her dark hand rested like a shadow on the bone colored pages below it.

"What are you reading?" she asked.

My mammy sighed "A book of philosophy, its words is caged."

I knew personally how dense such books could be. "I thought you thought such things were pointless," I murmured.

Minnie shrugged with a contemplative expression "Maybe it's me that is pointless," the soft self-derision in her tone makes my head shake.

"You couldn't be more wrong," I protested. She moved and closed the book "I had me a boy once before you was born," my eyes widened "Had?"

She nodded "Yesin he was your grandfather's get, with eyes like the stars and skin as gold as them curtains yonder," her finger pointed at the windows of the room.

"You bore my grandfather's child?" The knowledge moved me, disturbed my knowing of my precious person.

She sighed and her hand went to her lips and fluttered across her mouth in a gesture of remembered tenderness "I was your grandfather's mistress for many years and when our boy died he nearly lost his mind," she fell quiet for a long moment.

"Why did he never give you your freedom?" I had to ask.

"I wouldn't let him," she replied quietly.

"But why?"

Our eyes met over the dull flame that lit the scene with a miser's touch "Because there is no place in this world for a freed negro, and if I was free I wouldn't have been able to see him."

Our silence that followed was insubstantial filled only with our breathing. "You loved him beyond reason," I uttered.

Slowly pain was revealed in her ebony eyes "Much like you and the Master. I tried not to," she fell quiet as memory burned across her face. "But he was so determined to win me."

Her lids lowered and she released a long heavy sigh "I be weary Sookie," she rose and went to her bed and I took my leave after giving her a long look that I hoped conveyed the contents of my affection.

The door snicked shut behind me at my touch. I was restless and I moved towards the marble stairway without thought. A voice crept into my ears from a few doors down. My stealth in movement served me as I came like a doe towards it.

"You speak madness," came a deep southern voice. Cole's.

"She is a thorn in my side," Felicia said. "When she is dead Eric will have no choice but to return my love. He's been obsessed with her for months," she paused and then a weeping was heard. I went absolutely outside the door. I had only been engaged to Eric for a little over a week.

"I know," returned Cole, I heard the scraping of a chair across the wooden floors. I wondered for a moment about him; that he should feel such affection for a woman whose every thought was for another man.

"She is most intriguing," he added softly. "A man hides behind her alluring eyes."

I heard the tread of Felicia move across her chambers "What man, Eric?"

"No a man of her devising, the secret of her mind," I felt a jolt go through me at his deep knowledge of me.

I knew with my sharp instinct that it was time to be about the business of going downstairs. I wanted fresh milk sweetened with honey quite suddenly.

I moved down the stairs careful to keep to the left where no creaking would betray me. I opened the back door and made my way to the kitchens beyond. It was open to the night air and I smelled blueberries. The old woman from before was seated at a stone table kneading bread. The tough motion of her hands transfixed me for a moment. I moved to sit across from her. "What dream did you have that moved you to warn me?"

Her eyes flickered when she raised her head "Dreams are private Mistress, surely even an old negro has the right to that?"

I stood "Where is the milk?"

She got up and moved towards a door in the floor. Down a narrow staircase she went deep into shadows and came back with a jug of earthenware. She poured soft and brilliant milk into a tankard for me and without asking me sweetened it with honey.

The kindness in her eyes when I thanked her and tipped it to my mouth was so sad to me but why that was eluded me.

I made my way with the fresh joy of soothment in my limbs back to the house. I went to the library and saw Eric sitting in his customary place staring into a middle aged fire with a brooding expression.

I nearly left but for some reason he knew I stood there. His eyes when they lifted to me were stark. He moved his hand and beckoned me into the room. I settled beside him and set my glass down on the table between us. "What has kept you awake?"

I shrugged "I was restless my lord."

Eric sighed; a long plaintive sound. His hands went to his hair and the motion made it boyishly disheveled. "Soon we will be wed," he said softly. The layers of feeling in that single sentence was mystifying.

His head turned and his profile vanished as our eyes met "I wonder if I will ever make you happy," he sounded so forlorn that I nearly patted his ivory hand that rested on the arm of the chair.

The keen emotion in his words moved me. "I wonder that too," I replied in a voice just above a whisper.

"The plant died yesterday," he said after a long silence.

Not knowing what else to say "I'm sorry, my lord."

"It just gave up the fight," he whispered. I wondered then if my love was insane.

"I am canceling the ball of this evening," he added with in a brisk manner.

"Why?" I feel no sorrow at the news. I hadn't enjoyed the previous one.

He shrugged with negligent grace "I felt so bored and lonely around them," his honesty with me for that instant was shocking.

His eyes drifted to my face "Do you ever feel as if you are the only one awake?"

The question was strange but it made total and utter sense "Yes my lord I suppose I do."

Our souls were two sides of the same coin and I knew that I was just as much a slave to love for him as Felicia.

**AN: I tried to put a slice of lemon in here but the story refused. The next chapter will contain the marriage. I have decided that its time, or rather the story has. You all have been so patient with me, I appreciate it. **


	18. A Sentiment Exprssed and a Smitten Cole

I awoke to dawn creeping under the curtain. On the breeze was the tangy vibrant smell of the Gulf. That the sea should be so close hadn't occurred to me. I quickly got dressed in soft breeches that my papa had bought me for hunting in the swamps near our plantation. I wore a linen shirt meant for boys. I was going to have an adventure. A smile crossed my lips as I tiptoed down the stairs and headed out the back door through the hot house.

To my surprise Cole was there. His back was to me but the dark shade of his head and his height told me who it was. "Sookie," he said softly. I was surprised that he'd heard me. "How did you know it was me?"

He pivoted and his smile was gentle "Because no one else is so hard to hear," the answer was mysterious much like him.

"What are you doing in here?" I asked.

His hand swept to some foliage "I like nature," he replied simply.

I come to decision that might be pure folly but curiosity impels me "Would you like to go for a walk with me?"

Cole seems intrigued by the suggestion "I think I would."

So we go side by side out the glass door into the gardens beyond the house. I took a moment to really see it and not just be in it. It was clear that the plants had been chosen with care and skill. It occurred to me for a second that my intended had probably been the designer. Roses and lilies frolicked next to ferns and ornamental grass. There was an air of wild whimsy about the gathered flowers. A stone path wound through them made of rose quartz. It gave an air of mystery to the scene and an odd thought occurred to me which was so uncharacteristic.

"It's like an Elven Kingdom don't you think?" I ask my companion. Cole gives me an odd look filled with speculation "Indeed it is, my cousin spent months planning this garden. It became something of an obsession for him, he spent hours picking out the plants and directing his slaves with utter precision." Cole fell quiet after that and his hand drifted to a white rose and one finger reached in and touched the heart of it.

There was something so tender in the gesture that I felt bizarrely moved. "Are you and my lord close?"

Cole cast me an amused look full of awareness "You call him that to manipulate him don't you?" it's not truly a question he already knows the answer.

"So are you?" I parried.

Cole smirked with deep shadows in his gray eyes "Closer than brothers," he said softly. "Eric is the most interesting person I've ever known," he added.

Sookie scowled as she realized that she felt the same way "He said you are one of his favorite people."

He turned his face away to hide an expression of pleasure "Did he? Hmm, that's nice."

We come to a bench carved into a swan "Eric made this when he was fourteen," Cole informed me as we sat down. I was surprised. "He did? But it's so skillfully made," I retorted.

Eric's black haired cousin smiled tenderly "He wanted to be an artist for a time but Grandfather forbade him."

Sookie didn't know what to think of that; in general she had no use for art. "Why do you love Felicia?" I blurted out and instantly regret my question.

Cole frowned and his hand dipped to the grass and stroked it "Felicia is horrible but I am drawn to her," his voice was so soft like the warm breeze that blew the blossoms all around us.

I bowed my head and felt sad for him and for Felicia "It's so sad that she will never get love in return from him," the words shocked me because previously I had only felt an endless abiding hatred for her.

A deep passionate longing filled his face and a crushing sadness "Yes it is," he turned to me "I'm not in love with her you know," that this man I knew not would care about my opinion of him was mystifying.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

Cole smiled ruefully"Pretty sure, I don't think I could truly be in love with so one so weak and vapid," he let out a long heavy sigh then "But her face haunts me awake and dreaming."

"Well she is most beautiful," I admitted grudgingly. His gray eyes were so filled with an odd respect for me that it shocks me a little.

"Beauty without substance is always so tragic though," his gaze on me makes his meaning clear. He found me both beautiful and substantial.

I looked away and Eric's eyes burned in my mind "What of flowers what substance do they have? And yet how many sonnets have been written in their honor, how many hearts moved at the sight of them?"

Cole's hand lifted to his chin thoughtfully "That's very true I suppose."

"You're terribly in love with him aren't you?" his insight into my person annoys me.

I bristled for a moment "How would you know that?"

He cast me a knowing glance with his face so like Eric's "You take great care to hide it, I don't believe even he knows it," it had the tone of a reassurance. I realized that he hadn't answered my question.

"But how?" I insisted.

Cole shrugged and stood looking down at me "Because you never look bored when you see him and you look so fucking bored with everyone else and your eyes follow him so closely, only when you think he doesn't see."

I rose and we resumed our walk "I am to be wed today," I said abruptly.

Cole nodded with a distant expression "So it would seem, you are lucky that you won't be wedding a bore."

I nodded thinking the same thing. "Goodbye Cole, I have to bathe and get ready for it."

He glanced over and down at me with his eyes half closed "May it be as splendid as you," then he bent down from his great height and I felt his lips brush mine.

We looked into each others eyes for a moment "Are you smitten with me sir?"

Cole seemed annoyed and amused with the question "I'm not certain," he snapped walking rapidly back into the hot house.

I went upstairs and Minnie was in my chambers directing slaves to fill a copper tub scented with rose oil. I climbed in she washed me as tenderly as a babe. I felt tears well in my eyes as I remembered being a child. The helpless rage that I'd felt all those years. I'd never had the abandon of most children, only an impotent fury at being considered an idiot due to my age.

Then I had come to realize when I grew into what I am now that being a woman was like always been a child. I would never have any rights beyond what my husband granted me. I couldn't own property. I couldn't vote on matters of import. I was a useless flower on the arm of whatever man deemed me worthy. Soon I was weeping deeply and I felt Minnie gather me into her arms and hold me close after wrapping me in my soft robe.

There was no need for words; Minnie knew the reasons for my tears quite well. Once in a great while my own helplessness overcame me.

Eric came into the room and saw me being held by Minnie. A look of soft confusion was in his eyes. "Sookie?" his voice sounded pained. Slowly he came into the room fully.

My sorrow was hurtful to him I could see over Minnie's shoulder "What has happened?" the question seemed wrenched from him as if he can't stop it from escaping him.

His eyes narrowed "Are you regretting our betrothal?" the dark possessiveness and fury that remakes his face makes me feel strange.

I shook my head "No my lord," my tone is barely a whisper. He came and sat down at my reading table and his hands went to it and the sight of them touched me. That they should be so wonderfully crafted; so powerful and elegant almost made me believe in God. Almost.

He was waiting for me to tell him why I wept. I stepped from Minnie's embrace. "I despise my sex my lord."

Eric nodded "Yes I know that about you," he said softly.

"You feel helpless right?"

I closed my eyes to his beauty "Yes."

"Look at me," he commanded.

I did and saw his hand coming towards mine. "You're the strongest woman I've ever known," that he would unveil such sentiment was confusing and moving to me.

He stood and glanced down at me and then to Minnie. There was some meaning to the laden glances but it escaped me. He was trying to send me some message some reassurance but I was so distraught that I didn't understand.

**AN: Ok I know I said that this chapter would be their wedding but the story insisted this. I promise if I can the wedding chapter will come along sometime before midnight. ****For all those who like a dark Eric don't worry he's not turning into a pussy. This Eric is going to stay layered with both light and dark. But he's coming to realize the depths of his feelings for her. This story will not turn mushy if I can help it. Maybe I'm just reassuring myself. Anyway Hope you all liked it. The wedding and the lemon is coming shortly. **


	19. We are Joined Before The Universe

Today I would be wed to the most mysterious man I'd ever known. The thought wrapped around me like silk afire with feelings. Feelings have never been with me comfortably; they have wormed inside my coldness only with great persistence. I had no choice but to worship Minnie as she was the first person to really _see_ me, to love me. And my father, oh how he doted on me. But even he never saw the true nature of my being.

It is said that no one is an island but I am or would be if not for Minnie. That I need her to be always in my life wounded me. All these things occured to me on some layer of the mind like hail pattering the window of me. My dress lies on the bed a thing of great beauty and cunning.

Augustus the tailor was a troll as Eric had said but his brilliance was clear as I gazed down at it. I was fitted with a corset for the occasion with little care taken to tighten it about my already tiny waist. It was merely to give some substance to my rather small breasts. I had always liked that I am nearly flat chested. For I despise femininity; although I wield it for my own purposes. And I am in my own way grateful for the face I see in the looking glass.

My delicate nose and ripe lips and large bewitching eyes have served me well. I put the hoop on over my silken bridal undergarments with a dull thrill. My complexion is flawless so there is no need for powder and my cheeks are touched with color from my excitement so rouge is equally useless. That is another thing I am pleased about; my face has never needed false adornment.

Women with makeup make me sick. Their painted faces are so garish and hideous. The better to go with their vapid empty inner landscapes. Finally the dress is buttoned up my back. It is cream and ivory and as I desired the top is crafted of lace which must have taken an army of slaves to tat. The neckline starts right below my throat which is again how I preferred it. Beneath the lace I wear a golden shift of the finest sheerest silk. The skirt is heavy brocaded tapestried cloth nearly velvet in its softness and decadence.

The sleeves are very full and slashed to reveal hidden gold. That such a grand and royal color should only enhance my delicate beauty had always filled me with a vague pride. I have never been proud of my beauty exactly, why should I be? I didn't make it. Yet it pleased me nonetheless. For I knew from an early age that the only thing sadder than a beautiful woman is an ugly one. Ugly women had even less power. Men recoiled from the sight of them and only married them if their blood was impeccable or if they had a dowry of immense proportions.

So of course I was duly happy about my form. Arrogance is nearly necessary for great confidence and great confidence is essential to rule those around you. I stood before the mirror and a wicked smile crossed my lush mouth. That I would captivate him I had no doubt. My train trailed behind me as did my unbound hair. That Eric adored my hair I knew and I intended for his heart to stop as I entered the cathedral that he'd built for his slaves.

The love I felt for him when I entered the carriage alone to go to his side to join my life to his was overwhelming. But I was determined to rule that as well. I would be the master of my heart, not he.

When the great doors of it were parted by his human property and I entered to a blaze of colored light that shone through holy faces I saw my father rise from a pew near the back. The adoration in his eyes warmed me. I loved my father in a distant manageable way; unlike my love for Minnie which has always consumed me.

I moved towards him and his arms opened. Into them I came. I felt his powerful aging arms fold about me and the whisper of his kiss through my veil. I felt Eric enter the grand church behind me. I half turned to see him. I have never in my life seen a sight more breathtaking more powerful than the vision that he made. He was dressed in black from head to toe, a tightly fitted suit.

His pale beauty burned like stars in the buttery light that shone upon him. He was the night in all its fierce dark elegance. He moved towards me as if he floated upon his strength.

I moved from my father's side as he took my arm. For the first time I noticed others in the cathedral. An old man dressed simply with a proud aristocratic venerable face graced with a shock of thick silver hair sat up front. He was I saw looking to me with great expectation and approval. Eric's hand rested lightly upon the small of my back as he led me to stand before him. That it was his grandfather I had no doubt. I curtsied to him and allowed his perusal of me. His gray eyes swept from the crown of my veil to my grandiose train. "You are remarkably delicate aren't you?" his voice was hearty and hale, filled with vigor.

I dimpled at him and he laughed "And full of cunning, that much is clear," he murmured. Cole sat beside him and gave the old man a look of clear affection. I laughed softly "Then I shall endeavor to hide myself better great sir," I said quietly.

The old man's ashen gaze seemed mirthful "Eric has been consumed with possessing you for the last six months," he stated flatly.

I glanced over at Eric whose eyes were wide with horror. "Grandfather perhaps your great age has finally gotten to your intellect," he grated.

The elderly man smirked with the inherent self-worth that only a life time of privilege and power can bestow "Mind your tongue or I will cut it out," he said smoothly.

I was watching both of them from beneath my lashes. "It seems that an acquaintance of my grandson's saw you riding one day and couldn't stop gushing of your great beauty and Eric paid a slave to watch and report to him of all your doings," he fell silent for a second and watched both me and Eric. "He received letters on your daily occupations and pored over them for hours."

Eric fell back against my arm and I heard him gasp. When I looked over at him he was the color of bone. "How dare you!" he hissed.

I felt a strange burning agony for him and a deep rage at his grandfather. "If you'll excuse us," I said coldly to him, taking my betrothed's arm. We walked from the cathedral into the bright cruel sunlight. Eric was weeping reluctantly and he wouldn't look at me.

We sat on a stone bench before the great doors in the shadows of a weeping willow. I turned to him "You hate me now don't you?" I whispered and I allowed my great adoration for him to show in my voice.

Eric wiped his eyes and bowed his head. "I feel so destroyed," he murmured softly. "Now you know," his words were bathed in bitterness.

His eyes went to me like the sun to the darkness "I despise that old fuck."

I laughed gently and my hand of its own accord rose to his face. "You are much in my mind my lord," I confessed. It was the closest I could come to saying that I loved him.

I took his hand in mine and raised it to my lips and my lips brushed across the smooth ivory beauty of it. He moaned softly "I have wanted you for so long," his words touched me deeply.

I dipped my head up to his cheek and kissed it. The shade we were in partially hid the depths of his eyes to mine. "Should you ever leave me or give yourself to another I will murder you," he vowed in a quiet cadence.

I nodded and my dimple beside my mouth was revealed. "Yes my lord."

I wanted so much to ask for his fidelity in turn but fear of his rejection stopped me. I have always known that very few men can be content with one woman, why should he be any different?

We rose from the bench at the same moment and my heart felt like thunder booming its love for him in my fragile breast.

His hand swallowed mine and inside music began to swell. The sea of faces was mostly black yet another sign of my husband to be idiosyncrasies. That he should have those he owned to see this precious moment moved me and hurt me. That they should always be on the fringes of glory yet never enjoying its embrace was so unfair. I spotted Minnie in her Sunday best seated with the house slaves.

I moved towards her with great deliberation. I grasped her hands and pulled her from her seat. "Minnie you will be in the wedding," I said firmly. Her dusky cheeks bloomed with blood. "I couldn't chile, what would the white folks say?"

Eric watched us with a smirk and in his eyes was a wicked glimmer "Fuck them, come on Minnie bear witness to the joining of our lives," he bent down and kissed my Minnie on the cheek and took her arm and mine and we walked down the aisle towards the priest.

When we reached him I turned to Eric "I don't believe in God though," I murmured. Eric laughed softly "Neither do I unless I'm having a nightmare but I couldn't find a pagan to marry us on such short notice."

Minnie was looking at Eric with confusion and happiness. She stood to the side in her prim dress of blue starched cotton with its little bit of lace about the collar. "Thank you for this Master," she said touching his arm.

Eric smiled like a sun blazing at her "It's my pleasure Minnie."

The priest began to intone and I could sense both of us just wishing he would get on with it. Finally we came to our vows. Both of us gazed at the other "I take you Sookie Stackhouse the most beautiful and cunning woman I have ever known to be my bride and my property, to cherish and abuse as I want to."

I scowled and then laughed "I take you Eric Northman the most mysterious and wonderful man I've ever known to be my lord husband, to uphold and defy whenever I wish."

Eric's eyes narrowed but his affection was plain to see when he bent his bright head to me and kissed me.

The music of the talented slaves swelled into the air and the brilliant crimson and gentian and chartreuse light from the stained glass bathed the scene with rapture.

Then it was done. We were forever joined. And since I couldn't say before God, I said before the universe. The firmament above was at least a fact.


	20. Falling Cotton and Incest

Under a hail of cotton we swept into the carriage. I was conscious of my appeal when I felt his eyes upon me. When I moved to take the floral garland from my brow he stopped me. "No it stays," he said softly.

My hand lowered and I sighed. My eyes drank his face as if they'd been parched for years. That he would always be indescribably perfect to me I knew. A feeling of doom threatened my mind then. That this happiness couldn't last. His face was thoughtful as he looked at me. An approaching coldness was in his eyes. His mercurial moods was something like crossing a frozen lake; always in fear of melted places and hidden danger.

"You think that you have me under your thumb don't you?" his voice was soft and silky but I wasn't fooled. Behind it was an endless rage.

I bowed my lashes "No my lord," I said quietly. I could see through the thick fall of them that he was smirking.

That he would feel this darkness and rage after my finding out of his great obsession for me was natural and made perfect sense to me. Our carriage arrived at the back of the house. It was past noon and the sun cast it's light only as far as the garden, the house itself repelled it.

We entered the hot house and behind us guests were arriving. Felicia was in the corner of the humid room staring around her with tears pouring from her green eyes. Eric watched her with a vague expression that seemed torn between pity and amusement. "Felicia doesn't my bride look lovely?"

She turned and the hatred and love there was appalling in its nakedness. She said nothing and sank to her knees. Eric's lip curled with derision "Get up and serve our guests," he snapped.

Then the ice of his gaze swept to me warmed with his fury. "Go into the dining hall on the east wing and greet them," he commanded.

I curtsied deeply to him "As my lord commands," I murmured. I knew that I would have to be very careful if I were to survive the wedding night and the preceding hours.

I swept into the grand dining hall that was only used on formal occasions and watched as slaves led our guests into the room. I held my hand aloft for kisses coldly given and smiled blandly in response to their vacuous smiles. Eric's grandfather entered in then. He stopped before me with a look of interest and boredom at once.

He was an incredibly handsome man even in the twilight of his years. "Sookie," he began. "Your eyes are most unusual," he murmured peering into them. "Show me to my place," his tone made it clear that it was to be near Eric and I.

I led him to a seat across from and next to my husband's. He seemed utterly aware of every minute detail that surrounded him. Blossoms hung from the chandeliers and snowy white lace gabled the ceiling. Long bleached candles dotted the long expanse of the table. "My grandson has a most romantic heart," he said in a thoughtful manner. "Of course I tried to crush it from him, but alas it was nurtured by his mother."

"Are his parents dead?" I asked. His grandfather nodded his head "Yes they died in India, they were murdered in a revolt of the natives there."

"He saw them die," he added toying with his glass before lifting it to his mouth. The news hurt me deeply. I knew in that instant that there was nothing that I wouldn't do to spare my husband pain.

His gray eyes lifted to me "My name is Court, I was remiss in not giving my name earlier."

I said nothing merely inclined my head. "What you did before our joining was most cruel," I told him with clear anger in my tone.

Court smiled coldly "Do you think so? Perhaps you need more time to acquaint yourself with my person then, what I did was to level the playing field." Cole came in then and sat next to his Grandfather.

He was quite handsome in a charcoal gray suit with a black undershirt. He'd obviously heard his grandfather's words. "Indeed grandfather, its time she knew of the reason for this hasty marriage," he commiserated. His steely eyes so like Court's seemed to burn me when he turned his gaze my way. "He showed me a portrait of you he'd had stolen from your father's collection," he fell quiet and for a second a look of remembered admiration was on his face.

I remembered in that moment my father's anguish and fury when that portrait had gone missing. Eric arrived then and sat catty corner from me. His brow arched "Have I missed anything of import?" he drawled. His eyes were artic with the depth of his anti-feeling.

Court lifted his glass to his mouth and drew a sip around the mirthful workings of his mouth. "I was just telling your wife of your parents 'death," Court's eyes were calculating and I knew that he enjoyed tormenting Eric.

Eric face was snowy in its lack of emotion "Were you indeed?" he sounded the epitome of casualness. His brilliant aquamarine gaze turned to me "Yes they were decapitated before my eyes," he murmured.

"How boring and trite of you to unveil that detail on this day," he said directing his comment at Court.

Court smiled and snapped his fingers to Felicia and when she came near he bid her to stand before him. "I trust you have been fulfilling my grandson's needs in his chamber?" every word he uttered was poison to this day and I knew that he took great joy from ruining these scared hours.

Felicia flushed and looked away and then with a quick mysterious glance to Eric she replied. "Yes Master Court."

Food came in then on rolling carts and the smell coming off them was both delicious and repugnant. Court was watching me with a predatory gleam in his eyes "Doubtless you mean to wound me with what I am already well aware of," I said coldly.

My eyes turned to Eric and my hand went to his "There will be no other women that will ever captivate him as I do," my tone is filled with a certainty that I don't necessarily feel. Eric's eyes narrowed with a dangerous light "Is that right my love?"

I shrugged minutely "It is merely my fondest desire my lord husband."

Eric looked around at the guests "Eat up pigs for the feast will be ending shortly," he said just loud enough to be heard over the conversations. Their genteel eyes widened and they fell into a silence punctuated with soft gasps of disapproval.

He picked up his plate and dumped it to the floor "Pick it up Felicia," his expression was filled with mirth and sorrow.

I still wondered if he loved her for surely that was the reason that he refused to sell her. But his treatment was so at odds with that hypothesis. She bent down and I nearly cried out. That I hated her I knew to be a truth but at the same time I felt a vast pity for her. Cole was glaring at Eric and his cousin laughed "Cole was there something you wanted to add?"

Cole smirked with what seemed a great effort "Cruelty can become so very lame cousin, take care that you don't become one note," it was a reprimand softly given.

"Inbreeding has made them both so strange," Court interjected. "His mother was Eric's father's sister, it was quite the scandal."

A silence so heavy it felt suffocating descended upon the table. Eric's breath hissed out and he slammed his fork down. "You're quite unbelievable in your depths of tactlessness aren't you?"

He stood and grasped my arm "Cole tend to Grandfather, it would be such a shame if he choked on his dinner."

With that we left all the guests behind and he nearly dragged me upstairs.

**AN: I pray that I haven't disgusted you all with this reveal. I was told what to type and I obeyed. Let me know what you think. Since many of you have asked Cole's mother was also his aunt.  
><strong>


	21. The Brutal Claiming

Eric flung me into his private rooms with a repressed snarl. When I looked upon his face it was terrible in its rage. "My lord husband you must calm yourself," I murmured.

His breathing was labored for a moment before with a visible effort he calmed it. "If I could I would shoot him in the head," he snarled.

His big hands went to his hair and he tufted it till it stood in odd directions. I sat down at his table and watched him carefully. Passion isn't something that I succumb to usually. Eric sat across from me and lit a lamp. "We are going to New Orleans for our honeymoon, I have a home there," he informed me with an artfully calm manner.

I nodded "Yes my lord." Eric smiled at me then and it dazzled. "I hate you, you know that?"

I shivered as he stood and moved towards me. His hands when he bent down cupped my face "I hate you because I adore you," his voice was so soft. His fingers moved till they grasped my arms and he wrenched me from my seat. To the bed I sailed.

He walked the short distance between us and reached for me. "Stand up," his tone was harsh and gentle at once. I did and gazed up at him almost fearfully. That he was most likely insane was an idea that crept into my thoughts.

His hand went to my dress and he ripped it from me with one powerful motion till I stood in my chemise, hoop and pantaloons. He saw my corset and his mouth twisted "Why did you wear this?" he asked as he undid it.

"My breasts are small," I explained. Eric's eyes were hungry as the corset fell to the floor. "I am certain that I shall not find them lacking," he whispered as he tore my chemise from me. "I loathe large breasts they hang so grotesquely," he added when they were revealed. A sharp intake of his breath was the wind in the room.

He was a God to me, perhaps the only God I would ever worship. He stood before me nearly three times my size and height and I nearly trembled thinking of how he could snap me in half. His pale hands went to his jacket and he removed it and tossed it to join my torn clothing. Then his shirt was removed. His chest was so immensely muscled and smooth it took my air from me. "Undo my pants bride," he grated.

I took two shaking steps to him and my hands undid the button on his trousers. He pushed me away and slid the pants off till he was naked and beautiful before me. His private part was enormous. "Are all such men possessing of such a large member?" my voice was a hush.

My husband smiled coldly "No they're not, are you afraid tiny one?"

I shook my head with great uncertainty "No my lord husband," I whispered.

His eyes were filled with shadows and affection that warred with his hatred of me. "You're not afraid of anything are you?"

I stood like a statue before him and was silent. He moved swiftly and locked his hands onto my delicate shoulders and pushed me to the bed. "I fuck brutally but I shall endeavor to be as gentle as I can. This time."

He crushed me with his weight and it was glorious. He stared down at me with such lust and possession that it warmed me. "You are truly the most bewitching female I have ever seen," he murmured before his lips crashed into mine.

His breath tasted of salt and power. His tongue was skillful in its assault. I moaned against his insistence. His hand pried my little legs apart and his finger slid into my lady parts. "You're already moist," he muttered when his head lifted.

He moved down the length of me and his lips touched me down there. His tongue flickered out and I nearly screamed from the alien sensation. His hands engulfed my bottom as his mouth devoured me. It began to feel wonderful and decadent. I shivered as he suddenly crawled up to meet my eyes. "Are you ready little doll?"

I moaned in reply when he thrust his great girth inside me. His face became wreathed in exquisite agony mixed with acute pleasure. "So tight," he whispered. He was gentle when he broke my hymen. Then he became savage and I felt completely dominated and possessed.

His large hands pinned my arms above my head and his lips crushed against mine. The reined power of him was nearly overwhelming but so delightful. That he was mine for the rest of my days thrilled me. Felicia was in my thoughts for a second and it wounded me. "Will you never be faithful to me?" I said abruptly when he was deep inside me.

His eyes narrowed and his hand covered my mouth viciously "Shut up," he snarled pounding into me. I screamed in fury and love that twisted inside me like the roots of a beautiful twisted tree. His palm tasted of flowers and salt. He was a garden of mystery beside a sea of deep abiding emotion. That he was so passionate and I so cold was mystifying.

With his other hand he choked me and I saw tenderness in his eyes when he claimed me. "You are mine," he said quietly taking his palm from me and once more kissing me as if I owned all that mattered.

I succumbed with little thought to my pride which has always dominated me. "I am yours my lord," I breathed out when his head lifted. The sensation of being filled completely by him was breathtaking and delightful. Even the brutality of his love making was exhilarating.

"You feel so good," he confessed as he thrust deeper still inside me. His body his eyes his mouth it was all that was or could ever be to me. "So tiny and delicate," he said as his hands left my neck and trailed to my waist. "I have dreamed of you for months," as soon as the words left his ripe mouth a look of deep rage entered his perfection.

His long fingers overlapped as he tightened his grip upon my stomach. "I despise that you know about me knowing of you, killing you appeals to me," his tone was thoughtful.

A look of vast suffering filled his eyes and I could only guess at the meaning behind it. His movements inside me became nearly painful as he increased his speed and strength. "I could pick you up and break you so easily," he sounded mournful and excited both at once.

How long he took me I can't say. I had my first climax as the moon was dying in the southern sky. The windows were open to the sultry breeze and the willows and magnolias beyond stood witness to my capture at my cruel and wonderful husband's hands. The scent of their white blossoms that were forever in bloom was heavy in the air.

Finally I nearly fell asleep as he claimed again and again. He rolled off me and his slap upon my face was tender. "Open your eyes wife," he commanded.

"Tell me you love me," he snarled.

I shook my head "Never," I vowed.

A dark compelling look covered his sensual mouth "Why not?"

My eyes went half-mast "Because I won't be ruled by such a foolish emotion, I am cold and I always will be."

His brilliant gentian gaze became so very cruel and icy "Then I shall warm you my darling," each word fell like fire coated icicles.

He entered me roughly and preceded to take me again and again. At one point I fell into dreams while he was deep inside me.

**AN: For all those who were hoping for a tender lemon, get real haha. I don't do tender lemons I do brutal ones. Hope you enjoyed it. **


	22. His Beating Heart And Confessions

I awoke to his weight upon me and his hard kiss to my neck. That there was no escape from his ravishment thrilled me. I was utterly desperately madfully in love and it was killing me. It was remaking me into a monster of feeling. I hated him that moment when I felt the exquisite pain and pleasure of his entrance.

"Will you never love me?" came his soft question as he thrust into me. I turned my face away "No," I whispered.

His hand rose as if to strike me then lowered and grasped my slender neck. My answer to his query was such a lie that it made all truth a falsehood. He pounded into me as if he were rain and I the soft earth at its mercy. It both nourished me and flooded the fields of my soul. There was no time as the sun rose into the sky a thing of harsh beauty that watched the slaves rise from their cottages and burned and warmed them in their labors.

I was safe from their sorrowful existence; I was white and beautiful and was the wife of the richest most powerful man in Louisiana. I was also a woman and my life would never be my own. The man thrusting inside me making me tremble with feeling was my owner as surely as he owned Minnie.

I closed my eyes against his bright beauty "Get off me," I nearly snarled. Eric went very still above me and in me. "No, you are mine and you desire me," he grated.

He claimed me as I wept with joy and agony. I shuddered with my release as the hour passed. He was made for me in every way and he would never be fully mine. Always there would be Felicia or some other woman. The linger of their perfume, the memory of their touch would forever dance in his eyes when he thought I didn't see.

Finally it was over and he lifted his great form from me. He turned on his side and his hand cupped his face with negligent grace. His fair hair shone in a rebellious ray of sunlight making him seem part angel. There was nothing about his face that I didn't find commendable or moving. His blazing blue green eyes with their thick black lashes that fell like heavy lace about them was breathtaking. His full mouth was swollen from our lips battling for hours.

I despised his hold on me so deeply that I felt tears gather in my eyes. "Sookie?" his voice was shadowed with concern. I turned away in despair "Please my lord leave me be," I hated how broken I sounded, so unlike the iron essence of myself.

He withdrew from me and lay next to me and drew a sheet over himself with an endearing air of modesty. His sigh drifted from his lips a long mournful sound. "I think I hate you," he said softly.

His arm so powerful went over his eyes and I felt his stretch "If I could kill you I would," he continued in the same vein.

I moved to leave the bed and his hand snapped out and snared me "You go at my leave wife."

I leaned against the wall upon the soft bed and stared with a dead expression at the shadows of the room. I knew in that moment that he would become increasingly cruel to me because he would fight his love for me. "Why did you come for me?" I asked the air around his ears.

Eric moaned and his lips parted and I resisted the urge to feather my finger across them. He sat up next to me with the sheet clinging to his hips as if he were a deity of masculinity. The pure sensual nature of him overwhelmed me. His head turned to me and the hate in his eyes wounded me just as it warmed me; a fire that destroyed and nourished.

"I came for you because when I heard of you, you sounded as if you were a dream I had made," the blunt honesty and the raw anguish of his confession tore me to pieces.

My hand lay next to me in-between us on the milky sheet and he glanced down at it with a look of wonder and slowly he picked it up and stared at it "My first memory is of my mother's hand near my eyes and it looked just the same as yours," he murmured.

"I have never seen a girl more delicate than you," his lids were heavy with adoration and despair.

His hand so large drifted to my cheek and traced my jaw "I almost believe in God when I look at you," his face grew dark then and murderous.

He wrapped a fist in my hair and wrenched my head back "You _will_ adore me," he snarled.

"Let me go you fool," I said with such coldness that was so far from what was in my heart it was nearly laughable. He struck me then a hard glancing blow. "I despise you," his tone was soft like a sword covered in velvet.

He raped me then and I submitted to his advance with great love and desperate hate that lived side by side inside me. A garden in bloom in the peak of its decay and birth.

We lay next to each other and I heard the tolling of the noonday bell that the slaves heeded to take their repasts. He rolled off the bed and got dressed and the sight of him stirred my icy heart.

The power and mystery of him was so compelling it left me famished for more. I was a whore for his voice for his face for his embrace. Even his cruelty was awesome and inspired admiration for him. He was me made male, came the thought once more.

Yet I wasn't as odd as him nor was I as consumed with beauty. I knew looking at him watching the sun cast shadows on his fields with an expression of wonder that he worshiped beauty where I myself had no use for it. Except when it came to him.

His head fell against the many paned window with a gloom of melancholy "Grandfather wants to put me back inside my childhood," he whispered.

I stood and wrapped the sheet about me "We will put that old fuck in his place, mark my words," I said from behind him.

Eric turned with a brilliant dazzling that moved me more than any painting ever could "We will?"

I nodded and knew that a cold cunning was in my gaze "I will not allow anyone to hurt you," I told my lord husband.

He seemed utterly touched by my statement "You care for me," it wasn't a question.

I shrugged "You aren't boring most of the time and your face pleases me," I admitted keeping my devotion and deep abiding obsession for him from my features.

He pushed me against the wall and pinned my arms above my head "Most of the time?" his words were heavy with danger and his affection for me that he loathed.

I smirked "Let me go, it's time for other pursuits, or would you have me spend the rest of the year on my back?"

Eric laughed then and the sound rejoiced and reverberated in my cool soul. He gathered into his arms as if I were a bunch of spring blossoms. "I love your garden my lord," I told him with honesty.

His eyes grew hooded with concealed emotion "What makes you think it's mine?"

"Isn't everything yours?" I answered cryptically.

His lush mouth moved into a rueful smile "Indeed, what of your heart?"

My hands went to his chest and I pushed him away "You may have my life in your hands but my heart belongs to me my lord husband."

The room was suddenly suffocating in the moist quality of the air and I felt myself transported to the hot house below us. "I will destroy you rather than have you never feel anything for me," he vowed walking from the room.

**AN: I Feel so torn about this chapter. But I am helpless before this story. I have almost no control over how it unfolds which is both frustrating and exciting. I will update again today perhaps twice more. I want to thank all of you who review and put this story on alert and read it. I put so much of my soul into my work and even though its fanfiction it's meaningful to me as are all of you. I have met some of the most brilliant people of my life on this site. This chapter is dedicated to TMack. **


	23. The Dappled Forest and The Song of Wills

I followed my lord husband from his chambers and made my to mine own. I dressed in my old hunting breeches once more in a fit of defiance. I wanted to withhold the displaying of my beauty from him much as I hid the depths of my love for him. I brushed my hair angrily and then donned a chemise and muslin shirt. I slipped into a pair of ballet slippers and went downstairs to face all who dwelled below.

The first thing I saw when coming to the end of the stairs was Emmire coming from Eric's private chamber from which I'd been forbidden entrance. A look of pleasure and sorrow was upon his face. His shirt stuck oddly to his back and in a second I saw why. It was bleeding. Eric came after him and looked at me with a carefully dead expression. He turned and locked the door and began to hum the tune "Ava Maria".

I entered the dining room, the smaller one this time and sat down next to my husband. His eyes were snowy as was the set of his features. "What is the meaning your garb?"

I played with my silverware "I'm going riding today and I wanted to be comfortable," the idea of doing so hadn't occurred to me but I grasped it eagerly. I became aware of Cole's eyes on me for the first time. Eric had a way of eclipsing whoever was in the room. "I think I'll join you Sookie," he murmured.

My eyes widened in surprise "That would be pleasant sir," I replied. Eric face was terrible in its wrath for a second before he made it smooth. "Why don't we all go my love?"

I gave him a bored looked "I certainly can't stop you from joining me," I said quite ungraciously when really I was thrilled that he would be near me. Cole was watching me with that characteristic faint smile. He knew my inner workings with such precision that it deeply annoyed me.

Eric's smile cut like a diamond "No you can't," he cast Cole a killing glance full of tainted affection "Cousin shouldn't you be busy fucking my mistress?"

Cole laughed quietly and took a bite of his scrambled eggs "Maybe later, she has grown quite tiresome in her endless devotion to you," he returned with utter blandness. I wondered about him on many levels. Did it bother him or please him that she was so obsessed with his cousin? I think it was a little of both.

Eric's eyes drooped for a second "My that does sound boring, it ceased to be flattering to me ages ago."

I stood and began to move to the doorway. "Sookie do you think you should wear your hair in such a fashion?" I turned to my husband. "Yes," I replied curtly when I saw that he was watching Cole's looking at my unbound hair with something like lust.

Eric growled and was across the room in an instant. "Come along Cole we are going to have an adventure," he stopped a grim smile alit his face. He beckoned to Felicia who had stood by like a statue during our meal. The adoration on her face was so irritating. "Get some self-pride for star's sake," I snapped at her before I thought better of it.

"You're a useless fool that can't face the fact he will never love you back, and you know why?" I didn't wait for her to form a reply "Because you have no depth or anything even remotely interesting about you, beyond your beauty you're quite useless and tiresome," after saying that there was an odd strained silence in the room. Felicia began to cry and I looked upon her with a vast boredom and disdain.

Eric turned his head from his mistress to me "That was quite cruel wife," he said softly.

I shrugged "Sometimes the truth is cruel my lord husband, if I must suffer her presence I will not do so meekly. She is worthless and I demand that she be kept from my sight."

Eric's eyes narrowed "Demand denied," he snarled. He moved with great deliberation to Felicia and kissed her most passionately on her mouth. It wounded me but I showed no reaction and indeed left the room while his lips were still locked on hers. "Felicia you shall accompany me and Cole and my wife on our ride," he said just loud enough for me to hear as I made my way to the hot house. I felt a hand close with reined strength on my wrist. When I glanced up I saw Cole looking down at me with something like admiration and fury. "Why?" the question was simple but I could see that it held feeling.

"Unhand me sir," I said coldly. Cole pushed me against the wall and his arms went to either side of me effectively caging me. "You're so cold aren't you?" his gray eyes were alike stone in their hardness. His head dipped to my ear and his whispered words sent a chill through me "I know your secret little one," then his tongue flicked out to my ear lobe.

To my surprise I felt aroused by it and nearly moaned. Also I knew that he was saying that he knew I was madly in love with Eric and it was a warning that should I persist in being cruel to Felicia that he would tell him of my love.

Cole stepped back as footsteps sounded a length away. Eric entered the hot house and a cry came from him and he released his grasp from Felicia's waist and nearly ran to an orchid that was drooping sadly. "Motherfucker," he snarled holding it tenderly. I watched both Eric and Felicia and saw her staring at him with a dumb look of confusion. She didn't know the reason behind Eric's obsession with the health of his plants. I did. Eric was deeply invested in them because they belonged to him and they were beautiful. Also I suspected that it was his acute fear of his own mortality.

Slowly he set the plant down and turned to me "Tell Minnie that she will no longer be working in the kitchens, her duty is to tend to my children," his hand swept to his plants with a look of paternal concern.

I nodded with a solemn expression "Yes my lord."

I adored his oddities I realized as his hands swept the tops of the orchids with a touch as delicate as a spider web.

He straightened as Emmire came into the room "Emmire go ready four mounts and one for yourself," he commanded.

Emmire nodded and let himself out through the back way of the nursery. Felicia was glaring at me with undisguised loathing and when she brushed past me she whispered "You look ridiculous in that garb," her voice was a bitter hiss.

I smiled over at her "You look like a fool no matter what you wear dear Felicia."

Her jaw ticked and the scowl on her full mouth was fun to see. Eric took Felicia once more about the waist. His back was to me but I could see it was tight with his calculations. He meant to show me that though he couldn't get me to love him that he would injure my pride.

Cole was next to me as we entered the hot air of the stables. Eric leaned over and licked Felicia's neck with his eyes on mine. I gave him a glance filled with boredom. He scowled and I marked a victory.

He pushed Felicia away coldly and moved towards a beautiful white mare. "This is yours Sookie, I bought her when I first saw your portrait, her name is Winter." I stepped towards the beast with a look of clear pleasure about me.

I curtsied to him "Thank you my lord husband, this is very pleasing and thoughtful of you," my voice was sweet.

Eric flashed me a brilliant smile and I felt my adoration for him simultaneously warm and chill my inner flesh. His eyes grew cold once more when he threw himself onto his black stallion with such power and grace. Cole's stallion was gray "This is my horse for when I stay here," he informed me.

Felicia I was aggrieved to see rode a golden coated Arabian mare of great beauty. That it was hers was obvious as she stroked its nape and cast me a smug smile. I smirked over at her and then laughed.

Emmire was the last one to be saddled and his horse was poor in the company of its peers. We rode out of the big wide doors into the world that my husband owned and ruled. Past the cottages, past the cotton in bloom and the laboring negros.

We came to a forest dappled with repressed sunlight. A wide paved road wove through it. So wide that we could ride abreast of one another easily. I glanced over to Eric "Where was you grandfather this morning?"

His captivating eyes glimmered in the shadows of the canopy above "Oh he sleeps until noon sometimes."

I digested that with some surprise "He certainly didn't strike me as the type to lay about in bed," I said after a moment.

It was Cole who replied "Oh he isn't exactly sleeping, he is busy fucking slaves and having a special balm rubbed into his joints."

Eric's eyes went to his cousin with a look of mild surprise and then he laughed "Oh so he still whiles away the morning in such a way?"

Cole nodded and the affection for their grandfather was plain to see. "You like him don't you?" I asked him.

Cole shrugged "He is strong and I admire strength, he has taught me much." The sun broke through the leaves above and bathed the scene with a soft green light. I found it so lovely for a moment that I forgot that I intended to murder Felicia and quite soon.

Emmire clopped up in between me and Eric and his face was crafted with love for my husband. Eric's hand drifted to his brother's and he patted it absently. Again the question that I'd once had of them came into my mind like lighting; quick fierce and natural in its ferocity.

We came to a clearing and Emmire dismounted and produced a big basket that I hadn't noticed. He spread a soft blanket upon the pine needled ground and we all sat. "I packed soft treats for your wife," Emmire said softly.

Eric smiled indulgently at him and I felt irrationally jealous that the gesture hadn't been for me. "But we just ate," I protested.

My husband shrugged "What is a ride without at least attempting a picnic?" There was a thick pile of bacon wrapped in cloth and a bottle of green liqueur. From another compartment of Emmire's saddle bag he produced five glasses and poured a portion for each of us. I sniffed it and would have refused to drink it when Eric cast me a glance of warning.

That he would begin to flaunt his affair with Felicia once more if I should refuse this command was clear. I swallowed it down and instantly felt a buzz soar through my brain.

His face swam before my eyes and I noticed that he held his own untouched and then he held it out to Cole "Drink my share cousin," he murmured. Cole shook his head "I think one is enough for me," he nonetheless took the glass and handed it to Felicia.

"No," said she. Eric smiled viciously "I insist."

So she drank two draughts and I was forced to drink another. I fell back against the soft earth and saw stars whirling on the edges of my vision. I felt a weight settle down beside me. It was Eric and he turned and cupped his face and watched me "You are mine forever and ever," he whispered. In some dim part of myself I felt him cup my breasts and heard Felicia scream in fury. And Cole spoke then "You are so vulgar at times Eric, get away from her."

Eric moved swiftly and hurled his cousin to the air and slammed him against a hoary oak "I grow weary of your chastisements Cole and your desire to posses what is mine," he turned to me "If I wanted to fuck her right here and now, there's nothing you could do about it, is there?"

Cole scowled and pushed Eric back and I could see the disgust and love there. Then Eric did something so mystifying. He moved towards his black haired cousin and hugged him fiercely. My hearing has always been keen so I heard the whisper that went from his lush mouth to Cole's ear "I love you more than anyone but do not seek to dominate me."


	24. Mine Enemy Is Cast From Me

That night the moaning of the wind awoke me. I sat up in my sheer nightgown and padded from the room on my silent feet. I sensed people awake and secrets to be learned.

I made my way down the left side of the stairs and came to the library, the door was cracked the tiniest bit and I stood to the other side of the lamp light from within so as not to cast a shadow. "Eric there is something you must know," it was Cole I realized.

I heard the sound of rushing liquid into a glass "Do tell cousin," his voice was soft but bitter as if they'd just got done arguing.

"Felicia intends to murder your wife," I heard the crashing of a glass and knew instinctively that it had been my lord's.

"What?" was the resounding snarl.

I gasped or must have made some sound because before I could move away I felt hard vicious hands grip my shoulders and fling me into the room. Eric's face was filled with wrath. "I don't care for dropping ears," he snapped quietly. "How much did you hear?"

I raised my head definitely "All or enough."

Eric flicked his hand to Cole and he rose and got a chair from the table and sat it near the two wing backed ones. That he didn't leave was strange and even odder still that my husband didn't insist on his departure.

My lord husband guided me to the wooden chair that facing the two winged backed ones. There was a small fire that's heat felt uncomfortable. The two men sat down and studied me. "She looks so fragile," Cole murmured. Eric smirked and glanced over "That is deceptive, I have never known a more iron like woman," he fell quiet and his hands fell onto the rest where he stroked them thoughtfully.

"Before this night did you know of her intention towards you?"

I considered lying but knew it was useless. "Yes my lord," I said softly.

Eric's eyes narrowed "Why did you say nothing to me?" his fury was a living breathing monster that fell from his lips.

"Would it have mattered?" the bitterness in my voice is obvious. Eric flinched and his grip about the chairs rests tightened until I saw bone. "You have made it clear to me time and again that she is more precious to you than I," I sounded strident and depressed and I despised myself.

He threw one long leg on the opposing side of his silent cousin; his own quietude was disquieting. "Would it have mattered? Are you a fucking fool?" one languid gesture brought a glass near his lips and he swallowed.

His eyes were suddenly on the sheerness of my nightshirt and so were Cole's I saw. I wrapped my arms about my bosom and drew my legs under me. "My lord you have paraded her in front of me from the moment I came here, you have thrown your affair with her time and again to me as a master will kick a hound," I fell silent for a moment "But then you aren't my master and I am no beast, Felicia leaves this very night or I do," my eyes grew hooded and hard. "Or I will blow her brains out."

Cole looked to Eric with some secret in his gaze "I will tell Amelia and grandfather of the reason for her absence," his hand drifted to Eric's and the two held hands for a second as if they were children.

Eric released a long heavy sigh "I would have sent her from you long ago if I knew that she intended to kill you," he paused and his eyes flashed bluish fire "However let me make one thing clear to you, you are never to threaten to leave me or I will murder any and all you hold dear." His face so perfect fell into a mire of brooding.

"Cole you are to take Felicia from me, you are never to allow her near my bride again," the cold lack of feeling in his tone warmed me. His expression was dead with no emotion. That he should feel no pain at her absence was a balm to my injured pride.

"Leave us, cousin, wake her and pack her belongings. I want her gone before the moon's death."

Cole rose and left swiftly after giving me a smile filled with some affection. Eric saw it and his face became lost in his jealousy. "You find him attractive don't you?" his words were uncoiled like the length of a serpent.

I listened to the soft groan of the door closing and looked to my husband. "Yes I do," I said truthfully.

His utter and complete quiet was frightening to me "I have shared many women with him, we have even fucked them together," he paused and his eyes glittered jewel like in his beguiling features. "You I will never share, you belong to me entirely."

The dark possession in his voice and upon his face was scary and made me love him all the more. "Stand up and kneel before me," he commanded. I did after a long moment where the battle of our wills was a palatable thing in the air.

I knelt like the maid I was so recently before the devil that was my owner in the eyes of the law. "Yes my lord?" I whispered. The murderous tenderness in his face was nearly enough to take my consciousness from me. His huge hands cupped my face "There is nothing I wouldn't profane to lift you on high," his tone was soft. They left the flesh of my face and he undid his pants.

His member came out half hard "You will pleasure me wife," his eyes upon me were hard with his meanings. That he desired me to take him in my mouth was only part of it. He wanted to rule me and punish me for my coldness to his passion.

I shook my head "No," I softly protested. The turquoise gaze narrowed "You will obey me in this Sookie."

His cold beauty in that moment was terrifying; that the universe should have made one man so completely alluring seemed vastly unfair. I found myself reaching for his stiffness. My mouth opened from love for him and I took him inside.

He moaned and his hand fisted in my unbound hair "Look at me little one," his tone was harsh with desire. I cast my eyes up my lips full of him. "Lick it," he ordered. I moved my mouth back and sucked the silky head of him and then begin licking the soft yet supremely hard length. The length and width of it was astonishing. His breath was sharp in mine ears and my whole body became alive with tactile observations. I could feel everything in all its minutia. The heat of the small fire behind me, the texture of his flesh, the reined fury of his fingers mired into my locks. Time seemed caught. I had stepped into his parlor at last. Into his web I went as his grew harder and harder.

He pulled himself free and pushed me savagely to the tiger skin rug and entered me. I was only partly wet and I cried out from pain and surprise. He tore my shift from me and his head canted to my breast and they were small enough for one to fit into his voracious mouth. He bit my nipple lightly and I shivered and my hands knifed into his thick fair hair.

The love that possessed me as he claimed his husbandly rights was so agonizing to me. It pierced me as an arrow to the chest. Over and over he thrust inside me and when I cried out and circled his thick neck with my arms he stared down at me with such anger and affection.

"It has always been you," he said softly and it was such a mysterious thing to utter. Slowly his hand came down on my face and covered it brutally as if he could block out the sight of my coldness. That I was a master of my face annoyed me and pleased me in that moment.

The snow of my soul, the harsh forbidding mountains that graced my interior was where I stood as he made me shudder with my release. Am I incapable of feeling anything truly? I wondered bitterly.

He rolled of me and his eyes were wrothful "You were here but not, where did you go?"

I turned away from him and felt his hand stroke my hair "I'm not in love with her," he said into my ear. "She is dear to someone I adore, that is why I have kept her close," the soft news of this rocks me and I shudder.

His soft sensual mouth touched my nape after moving the thick heavy fall of my flame colored hair. "Please forgive me," he murmured.

I slowly twisted to face him and cupped his hard perfect cheeks "Why do you tell me this?"

Eric wrenched his head back from me swiftly "I am not besotted with you either just so you know," the savage cadence of his voice is so wonderful to me because I know what it hides.

I came to my knees and was aware of my delicacy and tininess as never before when I saw how huge and powerful he was standing above me. His face was utterly wounded by the sight I made.

"I am a slave to beauty that is all," he snarled and wrenched his eyes from me. I heard the patter of feet coming towards us and a wailing filled the air.

"Cole where is he? He can't mean to do this to me!" Felicia sounded as if her heart had been ripped from her and I felt curiously moved but only a little. Most of me was filled with savage joy.

She burst into the room and the agony she was immersed in was visceral. "I swear it isn't true Master, I know how you feel about her and I would never kill her!"

Eric watched her coldly "You have only been maintained in my presence because of them and you know that," his gaze lingered on her for a long moment as if he were memorizing her.

Her slender golden hands went to her dress and she began to unbutton it. Eric smirked and his eyes flicked some command to Cole and his black haired cousin struck her gently and pulled her from the room. But before she went she had one last utterance "She will never allow you to satisfy all your needs with her," she screamed and it was the screeching of a harpy. "When she sees the chamber she will hate you," her voice faded and I heard the slamming of the double doors carved with knights.


	25. His Dark Confession

After the doors shut we looked to each other. His mien was caught between mirth and a strange dread. "My lord?" I breathed. I got dressed in the green gown that hung from the mannequin; the one I was to have worn to the ball. He helped me with the buttons up the back.

He moved quickly and pinned me against the wall, his hand a vice about my tender neck. "So now you think you have won, I suppose?" it was a soft snarl.

I trembled just a little "No husband," I said submissively with my lashes lowered. He seemed to be drawn to my mouth, nearly unable to tear his gaze from it. "How alluring you are, it sickens me," he stepped back and his hands put his hair in disarray.

A soft vigorous tread was heard then and through the parted door stood Court. He nudged it open with a boot of black leather. That he was fully dressed at such an ominous hour was peculiar. "Where is my granddaughter? I went to her chambers and I checked the kitchen."

I felt a sick dropping in my belly and knew of who he spoke. Eric's eyes shuttered "I sent her away from here," his eyes cut to me briefly "She would have murdered my bride."

Court flicked disinterested eyes to me "You should have alerted me to the situation and I would have handled it. You know as well as I that she would never gainsay me."

Eric's face held a petulance that touched me and made me feel protective. "Eric is the Master of Elysian and he had no need to alert you of the relocating of a slave of his," I said stepping before Eric and facing his grandfather.

Court's wintery eyes narrowed "Oh my so she is more than a portrait that you wept over, she has spirit," he murmured. He leaned against the rich wood of the opposing wall and surveyed me. "Actually little darling Felicia is my slave and a product of my loins and my grandson was merely housing her at my bequest," he fell silent and his lids lowered. "So you see its every bit my business," he peered over my shoulder at Eric.

"Isn't that right grandson?" his voice was a southern purr of authority. I half turned and saw my husband nod.

Court adjusted his coat carefully and brushed invisible dust from his sleeves "I assume that you've merely given her to Cole, eh?"

"Yes grandfather," Eric sounded wooden and nearly in pain.

Court moved from the wall and came to the sideboard and poured himself a scotch and with his back to us he spoke again. "What of Amelia? How will she feel about this departure?" Slowly he faced my lord.

Eric's eyes filled with deep sadness "It will break her, I swore to her-," he broke off and bowed his head.

Court's cruel laughter painted the scene gruesomely "Your devotion to that negro has always been so mystifying," his gray eyes cut to me the swathing of a dagger.

"Do you find your husband strange?"

I bristled and again blocked his view of Eric "I think he is wonderful," I snapped before I could think better of it.

I heard Eric gasp behind me and I nearly ran to the door; fleeing before my love could escape and enter his knowledge.

I stumbled up the stairs and knocked lightly on Minnie's door praying that I didn't wake her. She coughed and it alarmed me when she answered the door. "Eric now knows that I find him wonderful," I blurted out.

Minnie patted my shoulder and led me to her small table. I sat with shaking limbs and watched as the moon guided her hands to set the lamp ablaze. Her eyes seemed black pools of love when she lifted them to me. "And what's wrong with that? Yous always been selfish with your affection excepting me, but this is your man Sookie. You got to let him know you burn for him, or he'll turn cold on you."

I digested that and felt betrayed. "Minnie?" my voice was blanketed with my despair and the lingering bit of my youth. Minnie smiled gently "Yes? The truth is that man be so crazy in love with you, he jest can't stand it."

Her face grew stern "And if you keep pushing him away, he'll turn from you."

"He already has," I whispered. "He has kept a mistress from the moment he brought me here."

Minnie smirked and folded her hands atop the table "I heard her caterwauling not an hour past begging that handsome devil Cole to talk Eric outta sending her away," the triumph in my beloved mammy's eyes warmed.

Someone was coming up the stairs and we both went still. A knock went over our heads and then the door opened. "I thought I might find you here," my husband said softly.

"Has Sookie informed you of your new duties yet Minnie?"

Minnie shook her head and with her eyes on the floor "No Master."

He came fully into the room and its dimensions seemed to shrink with his size. He sat down next to me and his perfection made my heart race. "You are to tend to my children."

My mammy's face was a little shocked "Youin gots chilren?"

Eric face was solemn "Indeed and some of them are sick, maybe even dying as_ he_ did."

I interjected "He's talking about his orchids Minnie."

She looked so relieved for me and maybe herself that I nearly laughed. I turned my body to face him "When is that old codger taking his leave?"

Eric laughed "As soon as I am sufficiently destroyed I'm sure."

I felt rage grow in my chest "I hate him!" I said fiercely.

My husband chuckled "Me too," was his rejoinder.

"I don't know much about tending to those type flowers," Minnie said.

Eric's lids drooped lazily "I will teach you all that you need to know," I knew in that instant that his giving over even a modicum of control of his precious 'children' that he was showing a sort of affection for my mammy.

His expression as he looked from me to Minnie was a strange mixture of understanding and jealousy. "She refuses to love me Minnie," he said softly. I gave my mammy a look of warning and Minnie smiled "Give it time Master, Sookie only warms slowly to new people."

Eric's hand rose to his chin and he cupped it thoughtfully and I wanted to weep from the beauty that clung to such a simple gesture. "What can I do to win her heart?"

Minnie looked straight at me "Be steadfast to her Master, she highly values loyalty."

Eric's eyes narrowed "Fidelity?" his tone made the word a filthy thing. He stood abruptly "Go pack Sookie's things Minnie we are all going to New Orleans when the sun rises."

Minnie rose and curtsied to him.

I never did sleep that night and his single word echoed in my head endlessly.

When I awoke it was to a headache that blinded me. I stumbled from bed and felt the first breath of life from the sun outside my open window.

I fell to my knees as a blaze of pain went from my jaws up my neck to live my brain. I must have dreamed dark things I thought. When I have nightmares I grind my jaws together.

Minnie came in and picked me up as if I weighed nothing at all. From my trunk she got the tonic that I'd had to take occasionally since being very young. I drank some and lay back against the pillows.

So it was that he came in and saw me with what must of have been a dreamy expression. "Leave us," he commanded Minnie.

He drew a chair up beside the bed and just looked at me "What have you taken and why?"

I tried to sit up but my limbs felt deadened. "My tonic my lord," I whispered. The bottle sat beside the bed and he reached for it and after reading the label released a dark sigh. "My father was addicted to this substance."

"One of your headaches?" he inquired softly.

I inclined my head and gave a gasp as the pain fought through the drug. "How—old were you?" I stumbled over the words in my daze.

He didn't pretend not to understand "Nine."

I shuddered in sympathy for him "I neither want nor need your pity," he snarled.

His rage was so real such a living thing it nearly frightened me "Thank you for what you did for Minnie," I said in an effort to divert his fury.

He arched a brow "What did I do?" his tone made it clear that he knew very well.

My hands rose into air "You like her now don't you?"

Eric smiled darkly "Nothing could be further than the truth, I dream daily of killing her. For I know that you will never give me what you give her." His ripe mouth curled "Endless adoration, devotion, worship."

His big hands moved two striking hawks and he yanked the blankets from me. His fingers thrust inside me and I cried out. "My lord please," I pleaded as he got on top of me.

**AN: I'm sorry for the shoddiness of this update. I did my best. **


	26. The Doves That Came From Her Mouth

I stared up at him "Eric stop," my voice was calm as pain radiated through my jaws. He went still above me and then rolled off me. "Forgive me," he said softly. He stood and opened the curtains and took a deep breath of the air beyond. "When you are feeling restored gather Minnie and meet me outside."

Then he left and even the sound of his tread was music to my ears. I was feeling thanks to my tonic much better if a little drugged. Truthfully I despised it and only took it when there was no option. I liked my mind to be sharp.

Minnie bustled in right on his heels and packed my belongings. Thanks to my father I had a resplendent wardrobe fit for the occasion. "You be wanting to pack the dress Master made for you?"

She was referring to the backless gown "Yes."

I bathed and listened to the trilling of the birds outside as my hair was washed. I let my hair air dry and left it unbound. I wore a gown of dark autumn orange with brown accents on the collar and cuff. We met my husband in the foyer and to my annoyance he wasn't alone. Emmire was beside him as well as two slaves. I shrugged it off and thought practically that both of us would need servants while away.

Emmire and the slaves got inside the carriage with us on the other side. The journey wasn't long and I noticed that Emmire would look anywhere but to Eric. It was now around ten am. The sun in the heaven's cast a heavy bright pall on us. It was unseasonably warm and humid.

Four o clocks bloomed near every home when we arrived. We went straight to the Garden District to a grand home sheltered behind an elaborate cast iron fence ten feet high. The house was possessed two towers and instead of being in the traditional Gothic style it was a miniature castle. It was a gray and stained glass was in many windows and its size was modest compared to our other home.

I was soon to discover a whole other bevy of slaves here who stood at attention when he called and knelt upon the old wood floors. A man with an amazingly cruel face stood above them and bowed stiffly to Eric. "Laurent, I trust my property has been well cared for in my absence," his tone was laden with hidden meaning. Laurent spoke in French after giving me a quick dismissive glance. "Indeed Mr. Northman," he paused "Of course I don't coddle them the way you do but they are none of them abused or starving."

Eric motioned to his slaves to rise and looked them over carefully "Have any of you been punished without cause?" Their faces were stoic but their eyes fearful.

"Laurent is it?" I said in perfect French. The shock on his face was priceless. "See to it that a meal is prepared, I want bread pudding for myself and eggs and bacon for my lord husband."

It was I decided time to take charge of my life. I was done being abused by my lessers and Eric by god would back me up in this or I would leave him. Laurent looked at Eric questionably and my husband smirked "You heard my lady wife, see to it."

He bowed once more as if a rod were infused in his back and turned military style away. "Come on and see to the Master's wishes," he barked still in French. This was I was to discover a Creole household.

"Your French is excellent Madam," Eric murmured in my ear as he led me upstairs to our chambers.

I nodded imperiously "Of course it is, I had one of the finest minds in all of Europe attend my education," I answered with blatant arrogance.

My husband laughed softly with a strain of affection in it. We came to a smallish round room which I noted must be contained in one of the towers. The walls were brocaded with scrolling flowers and nymphs. The bed was rounded to fit the wall but nonetheless large. All around it was a velvet curtain and when I parted it I saw the bedding was black silk and covered with a velvet spread of crimson; colors which I'd began to associate with my husband.

I was very conscious of his presence behind me as I inspected the bed. I turned and stared at him "How long will you keep me from the true nature of your appetites?"

Eric seemed shocked at the question before he schooled his expression "I may never show you the depths of my depravity, I haven't decided yet."

I felt a crushing sense of disappointment, I wanted to know all of him. We left the room and he gave me a hurried uninterested tour of his odd home. One room was devoted to armor and swords with waxen heads mounted on the walls which he informed had been the spoils of war of a distant ancestor. "How old is this house?"

Eric looked around with a haunted expression "Around two hundred years, if my information is correct, the Northman's have been in residence since the conception of this city."

He lovingly patted a metal helm and stroked a broadsword. "My people were once noble before we met with disgrace in England. Our family dates back to the Holy wars."

He strolled from the room "Wait till you meet Matlida," he said turning to me when we came to another room. I tensed and must have frowned for he chuckled. "She's not a mistress, she's an opera singer that I have in residence."

He bustled me through a room painted with a scene of Hades; fire and beauty met in a savage dance upon the walls. It was the dining room. I had a sense that he was impatient to show me something that he deemed more noteworthy than the rest of the house.

We came to the back of the house and the roof gave way to glass. Inside was a jungle of foliage and flowers of an exotic nature and above us birds with bright plumage flew. Their songs filled the air and it was indescribably lovely. I gasped with delight and Eric smiled tenderly around us. "This is my most beloved achievement," he shared softly.

A tiger was curled at the base of a tropical tree and its plush tail flicked and he rose with a deep purring to come to Eric's side. He knelt down and gave him a passionate hug and kissed the velvet of his nose. "This is Lucifer," he said with such affection that it stilled my near fear at the sight of the beast.

He beckoned me to join him in his crouch. My hand went out to the animal and I found his fur so soft when mine hand touched it. Lucifer's great head dipped into my palm and then he licked my cheek. "He knows that I esteem you," Eric informed me still watching his pet.

"I have to supervise closely around my enemies or he would tear their throats out," he laughed then and it was queer until he finished the thought "Sometimes I allow him too."

I rose from petting and gave him an astonished glance "You mean sometimes you allow this beast to savage people?"

Eric nodded and caressed Lucifer "Indeed."

"So you deem yourself above the law?"

He smirked then and looked over and down at me with laughter in his gaze "Yes but then when you are as wealthy as I, it's a simple matter to have ones transgressions overlooked."

His occasional evil was thrilling to me, just as it disturbed me. I realized that I saw it as strength and weakness both. Eric's full mouth pursed and he broke into a series of intricate bird song. A dozen parrots and ravens and doves came at his utterances. They landed on his head and shoulders and outstretched arms and he spoke to them cordially petting each one carefully with great affection.

He looked down at me "Aren't animals so glorious?" I wasn't sure how I felt about them so I merely inclined my head. I wished no ill will towards them and indeed felt only scorn for those who would harm them but I hadn't ever had a great affection for them beyond my horse at my father's home.

We left the atrium and his tiger followed him as if he were a beagle. Eric went out the back door to the outer building that housed the kitchen and got fresh raw meat for Lucifer.

After he had eaten he turned to me "So what now darling?"

A big ugly woman came in with a ponderous stride towards us as we sat at the table. She curtsied to me and sat next to Eric across from me. She leaned over and kissed his cheek. "My name is Matilda," she said in rough German tinged English.

Eric was giving her such a look of affection and devotion that I found myself oddly jealous even though I knew with a single glance at her homely face that Eric would never be her lover.

Eric motioned to the slaves on the sides of the room to bring the food in. It came in heavy ornate silver dishes that looked as if they went back to medieval times. "These are quite old are they not?" I asked.

Eric shrugged "Yes I believe they go back to the thirteen hundreds."

"Where does that," I paused as I was about to say a very unladylike thing. "Where does your Grandfather live?"

Eric glanced up from his scrambled eggs "Oh he lives with Cole just outside the French District in a palatial house."

I digested that as I took a bite of my bread pudding which wasn't very good because it was so fresh. For bread pudding to be good it must sit at least a day. "Why does Cole live with him?"

Eric's eye narrowed for a second and he sighed heavily "He is very devoted to him, Cole is the only one he truly loves."

Matilda's hand rose and she fanned herself with a thick napkin "Oh that Cole, hiz a handsome one he iz."

Eric glanced over and laughed softly "Not as handsome as I though right Matilda?" his tone was joking and she jabbed one fat elbow into his side.

"Oh I'd say you're both handsome enough to tempt a saint," she said laying a heavy hand to his arm. If she hadn't been so grotesquely fat and ugly I might have been jealous of the obvious friendship between them. Her hair was limp and thin and she wore it coiled upon her head in the old German manner of braids. Her eyes were a dull dark brown and she seemed to possess no lashes. Her lips were thin like a man's and a big mole sat beside her mouth. And yet here my lord husband sat chatting her up as if she were the toast of the town.

After the meal Matlida led us to a ballroom where she mounted a stage. Eric was beaming at me and then her. His excitement was palatable. When she opened her mouth and began to sing "O Mia Babbino Caro", it was as if a whole choir of angels joined her. I fell back against the wall and felt tears gather in my stolid eyes.

Eric was watching me with a pleased expression "Is she not glorious?" his tone held a note of utter awe.

I nodded and he held me as her voice soared like a bevy of doves above us.

**AN: I am a major fan of Opera so I decided to include it in this. **


	27. We Take Air, We Feed Swans

When the song ended I looked over and saw that my husband was flushed slightly with excitement and his clapping was nearly unseemly in its enthusiasm. But I must admit that I was thrilled with what I had just heard. That something as abstract as a piece of music should move me near to tears was interesting. I the island, the maid of stone had been moved.

Matilda stepped down from the stage with a glow about her that nearly made her attractive. Eric strode towards her and embraced her and so tall was she that their heads nearly touched.

She kissed the air about his face and distangled herself. She I was soon to discover was a most intriguing person. She leaned down and stroked Eric's tiger who did a little leap to be near her fleshless lips for a kiss. Matilda looked directly into my eyes and winked.

"I have a concert that I'm to give in Jackson Square, will you attend?" I was surprised when the question was directed towards me.

Slowly a smile of genuine proportions spread across my face like jam. "Yes I would be delighted," I said with truth.

She came towards me like an elephant on wheels and slung me into the air in a great big bear hug. And you know what? I liked it. Me who despises touch was being held by someone I knew not, and I didn't seem to mind it. Finally she set me down and kissed my cheeks. She leaned in and whispered in my ear this: "He spoke endlessly of you."

I smirked and reached up on my tiptoes to pat her beefy shoulder "So I've heard," I replied.

Eric was watching us with a look of speculation. "Come wife we will leave dear Matilda to get ready for her performance and take some air," saying that he guided me from the ball room

He turned to me with a soft smile "Matlida is extraordinary you will find, I suppose you would like to freshen up and see Minnie," at my nod he begin calling out "Minnie?"

"Minnie?" she came from the parlor where she'd been being lectured by Laurent. I immediately moved towards the doorway and confronted the officious toad. "You are not to ever speak so to her, for any reason is that clear Laurent?" I made the use of his Christian name an insult.

He was a short man with dreary yet bright black eyes that sat like marbles in his pasty doughy face. Indeed he seemed made of bread more than of flesh, stale bread at that. His lips were thin and sculpted and when he bared his teeth to smile at me I saw he had two gold teeth in the uppers. He lifted his beaky nose and sniffed. "She is a slave is she not?"

I nodded and placed one hand on my dear Minnie's shoulder "Yes and she is mine, if you should have any manner of problem with her you are to come directly to me," my French was crisp and flowing. Laurent looked to Eric who just stared at him "Laurent, my wife's word is law," his tone brooked no argument.

I allowed a smugness to come about me then and I stroked Eric's sleeve absently. Laurent turned on the heels of his feet again in that military manner. "Was he a solider?"

He was still watching him walk away with a vague contempt in his eyes "Yes he served in the French brigade," he looked to me with a faint smile "I know what you're thinking, he's a cruel annoying little man puffed up on his own sense of power."

"Then why do you keep him?"

Eric's lip curled and he flicked a stray bit of dust from his immaculate coat "Grandfather insisted that if I was to have the run of this home that he would have some of his own people here," he fell silent for a moment and a tiny bit of rage entered his features.

"To spy," I said quietly moving to the staircase.

I heard his laughter behind me and it warmed me. I dressed with Minnie's insistence in the other gown that my husband had designed for me; the green one beaded with amber artfully. I wore a simple necklace of a single yellow diamond and left my unpierced ears bare. I have very small ears, in fact I have seen many an infant with bigger ears than mine. In any case I have always felt that they would look nearly freakish if I adorned them.

Minnie did my hair elaborately yet simply. She made a broad loose French braid that she covered with a long dark gold hair net of the style that ladies of fashion had worn many centuries ago which was now coming back into fashion.

I twirled in front of the mirror and gave my face a grim look just for fun. Expressions are interesting and most have no control over them, they just allow them to cover their faces whenever they wish.

My face on the other hand was almost entirely under my control. Just like most everything about me.

I left my dressing room which adjoined my husband's and went like a swan down the stairs. Eric stood at the bottom and his bright hair glowed nearly with a preternatural gleam. That there would for me never be a man as gorgeous as him was a painful fact. He wore a suit of black and sapphire blue the better to make his eyes shine.

He was giving me a distant look of wonder as he took in my tiny form in the dress he'd designed. "I wondered what you would wear," he said softly.

He took my arm and I paused at the door "My lord husband would it be possible for Minnie to accompany us?"

Eric's mouth curled up "I see absolutely no reason why she couldn't," he murmured.

Minnie was behind us and I swear I heard her heartbeat swell but of course that is merely my imagination. "Thankin you kindly Master," my mammy said as we swept through the door.

My husband half turned and gave her a fleeting smile as the door clanged shut behind us. "Are we not taking the carriage?" I asked as we started down the sidewalk.

Eric shook his head "No, I like to walk occasionally," his eyes went to mine "You know bacon is terribly fattening."

I laughed and he looked absolutely delighted. "You have the most enchanting laugh I have ever heard," he said softly near my ear.

I dimpled at him and my lashes fluttered and I became aware of how very feminine he made me feel. Tiny and delicate and most importantly coveted. To be owned by such an interesting man was some consolation.

He had a cane of ebony I noted which he swung with careless grace as we strolled. I was conscious of Minnie walking subserviently behind us and I my jaws tightened painfully as I felt anew the anger I've had all my life that because she was colored she would forever be in submission to those of my race.

We came to lovely park that my father and mother had taken me to when I had been quite young. Huge oaks that's branches seemed like twined arms made a canopy above us and turned the air around us green with their vibrant leaves.

A lake sat in the middle of all the lush grass and we came upon a bench long enough for all three of us. We sat and I felt at peace as I've never really felt before. I had my mammy and I had my lord husband who I adored endlessly.

His hand rested on mine although his face was turned to the still water before us. "They will be there tonight I'm sure," he said quietly.

I glanced over "Cole and your prick grandfather?"

Eric laughed with a somber cast "Indeed, they never miss a performance of Matilda's."

"She might be in attendance too, although why she would bother going is beyond me, she has no taste for opera," he smirked and his lids lowered over his brilliant eyes "She was always a tasteless ninny," that he spoke of Felicia I had no doubt.

A little smile curved my lips and to my surprise my husband pulled bread from his pocket and stood beginning to feed the swans that seemed to have appeared from nowhere. I joined him and he handed me a bit and together we fed them.

The look of utter joy on his face was so endearing and confusing to me. "You're a good man, my husband," I said to him watching a bird eat.

He seemed vastly amused at my statement "No that's too simple a label for me, I can be good but that measly word doesn't cover it." When he turned his head a deep thrilling darkness was in his gaze. Those eyes lingered on my lips with a _ravenous _hunger.

**AN: For a bit there I thought I would have to take a break from this story; luckily it's no longer hiding from me. Anyway I will be updating twice today if I can. **


	28. Blackmail Under The Willow

That night I wore the backless gown that he'd made from his mind and the troll had crafted. My back was akin to a sea shell or milk so white and creamy it looked in my reflection.

I wore my hair piled high in a riot of curls with a tiny string of pearls woven through it and around it and across my forehead in what was truthfully a very date antiquated look but one of which I was fond. Since the air outside was still brisk at times I wore a cloak of white lined with scarlet dyed fur.

I met Eric downstairs alone since he'd forbidden Minnie to come. His eyes widened just slightly at the sight of me. His breath came in a hiss and I smiled.

When I reached the last few steps he reached up and wrapped his massive hands about my waist and lifted me into the air twirling before setting me down. Matilda had already taken her own coach to her performance to prepare. The sky above was a strange chartreuse and part of me that wasn't consumed with my husband worried that it bespoke of a coming storm.

Nature isn't terribly exciting to me unless it is passionate with rain or thunder or raging winds. Sunny days are incredibly dull to me. Their boring radiance and the subsequent heat was irritating. That I lived in the south had always been something of an irony. It's humid air which clung to the body like a second skin was at times romantic but mostly it just felt suffocating. But this time of year though it was warm wasn't so bad.

We got into a carriage that I'd never seen before made of white birch if I wasn't mistaken and painted with trees on the side. "I made this you know," Eric said quietly as he caressed the soft cotton interior.

"It's quite lovely and very unusual," I murmured. I was overtaken with the urge to kiss his cheek and then after a moment's debate I did just that. A look of extreme pleasure crossed his gentian eyes. I realized that I had for so long been crippled by the pain of my jaws that it had been two days since I ate more than a bite or two.

Eric's eyes narrowed "You've grown thinner, I don't like that," it was as if he'd heard my thoughts.

I said nothing and gazed out the narrow carriage window unto the world of cobbled streets and cast iron street lights that were being lit by men in black clothing who wore happy smiles as the yellow light grew at their touch.

We parked in a long line of coaches and got out. "Eric why couldn't Minnie come?"

My husband smirked "Do you realize that you only call me by my name when you're upset with me?"

I tapped one delicately shod foot "Never mind about that, why?"

He sighed deeply "Because I hate her, I'm trying to be nicer to her but it's a struggle."

The blood drained from me and I nearly fainted "Why would you ever hate someone as dear as she?"

Eric's lip curled "Because every fucking thing you do is guided or done for her and not for me."

His hand reached out and engulfed my wrist and squeezed painfully "If she did not mean much to you I would kill her, than your heart would belong to me," he fell silent "Of course then I would never receive anything but hate from you."

I tried to pull away and he wrenched me closer and I became aware of people's eyes on us. "My lord they are staring," I said softly.

His lush mouth struck mine and he kissed me as if there was no one else in all of the city. They became ghosts, shades, wraiths with moving lips and hollow watching eyes. Only he and I were alive.

A cold voice spoke then "Eric who is this beauty you crush to you?" I looked up as Eric stepped back and I saw a gorgeous man with a shock of silver hair. But the odd thing was that he was young as young as my husband. His eyes were a piercing intense shade of green with flecks of blue and his lashes were as long as Eric's. His lips were made to be kissed, and he was nearly as tall as my love. Eric's face was proud as he presented me "The Lily of the South, my wife Sookie Stackhouse," he said with a grand flourish to me.

The man seemed to be drinking me as a parched man would in a desert. His hand trailed to my naked back and went down it. Eric's fingers wrapped around his wrist with great force. "Not this one old friend," he said with a killing light in his eyes.

His gimlet gaze turned thoughtful and petulant "Why not? We have shared so many," it was like the complaining of spoiled prince. His gaze was on Eric's mouth with a look of hunger and he licked his lower lip "_Indeed we have shared so much_," he said softly. I got chills as the meaning of this occurred to me.

Eric's eyes cut to me laden with warning "Shut your face Seth," he snarled. "That was long ago," he added grabbing my arm and turning from the man. "Oh it wasn't so long ago, "Seth called.

His face when I looked up was drawn tight with fury "Forgive the vulgarness of that," he whispered drawing me close to the stage near the center of the square. Matilda was almost beautiful under the forgiving light of the street lamps. In the trees were globes of paper lit from within by caged candles.

The crowd wore looks of great anticipation and furious passion. It was I was to discover the power that Matilda wielded over nearly all who heard her voice. The first song was "Ava Maria" sung in German. And though I don't speak the language I was familiar with the melody.

My husband grasped me close as the music swelled over us, we were beneath the lovely reach of a willow tree. Cole and their Grandfather spotted us and wove through the crowd to speak with us.

I noted that the Grandfather wore a look of acute emotion. When he came close he leaned in and kissed my cheek. I repressed a shudder as he smiled down at me. "How radiant she is Eric," he murmured. "This was my wife's favorite song, I played it at her funeral," his eyes went to his fair haired grandson. "You recall that don't you Eric?"

A look of deep sorrow passed my husband's face. "Yes I can still feel the shroud that covered her," he said most mournfully.

"Where is Felicia?" I asked spitefully.

Cole smirked and looked as though he longed to touch me "She's in chains, recovering," he said blandly.

I shivered and Eric glanced my way "I will get your cloak, stay here."

I nodded and watched him go and Eric's two relatives gathered around me until I was pinned against the tree. Cole's hand so large and pale drifted to my cheek with surpassing gentleness. His grandfather was merely there I sensed to drink in my discomfort. Cole's dark head bent to my ear "I want you to have an affair with me," he said softly.

I gasped and tried to shrink from him but the bark was hard and unyielding against my naked flesh. Thunder crashed into the air making me shake with excitement and confusment "Cole please I couldn't," I protested.

Cole's cruelly beautiful face became cold with lust and a terrible anger "Because you love him," he snarled. His hand rose and he ran it through his hair angrily.

"Always they love him and I am simply a proxy of him for them," I looked beyond Cole's broad shoulder and saw no sign of Eric. My heart constricted and great fluttering filled my stomach.

I pushed my diminutive hands to his chest but he wouldn't budge. "You will either agree to be my mistress or I will tell Eric that you are madly in love with him," came Cole's next words.

I stared up at him with horror "You wouldn't," I cried softly.

His gray eyes gleamed like polished steel and his hand closed over my throat "I would."


	29. My Funeral

Cole's hand was wrapped about my throat and I was trapped. "Please Cole don't," I pleaded hoping that by showing feminine weakness he would relent. His face was pitiless in its cold beauty.

Cole cast a quick glance around us and then looked to his grandfather who nodded with an air of conspiracy. "Meet me tonight in the St. Louis Cemetery," then he stepped back and disappeared into the crowd.

Eric appeared then and I scowled "Where were you?" I snapped.

His face was distant "I was catching up with an old friend," his voice was toneless as he draped my cloak about me. There was something I was missing here, a strain of old affection lingered in his eyes and a waft of delicate perfume swathed him. I felt a sharp pang of jealous rage. I would be damned if Eric would ever know of my love for him. Why? So I could be yet another one who has fallen under his spell?

The night passed with Eric acting distant and me acting cold which was wasted on him since he seemed a thousand leagues away. I had an evil thought that crawled through my mind like an armed dwarf; small, ugly and dangerous. Eric had been having sex or planning to have sex with an old love of his.

My attraction to Cole seemed a real thing then. Yet I loathed the idea of giving myself to another. When my very heart beat for Eric. We rode home and Eric without a glance to me retired to his study. I languished for him in our chambers for over an hour. My ears were sore from listening for his tread. Finally I could stand the riotous circulatory nature of my thoughts no more.

I dressed hastily in a dowdy gown of plain brown that I used to wear where when riding the meadows of my father's land. My hair was still bound in its braid. I slipped out the back door on my silent feet and mounted the beautiful horse that my husband had given me. I noted that Felicia's mare was gone; that ravishing horse with a golden fleece and tan mane. I scowled and resolved that yes I would have an affair. Why shouldn't I when my love was as faithless as the weather?

Besides the last of my power lay in concealing my love from him. Should he find it when I have striven so carefully to conceal it, what would I be then but another sycophant pining for his affections?

Through the shadowy pre-dawn streets I rode. My horse's cantor sounded like doom in my ears. I could feel my heart breaking with each step that brought me closer to my adultery.

When I arrived I tied my mare Winter to a great hoary oak and then proceeded to call softly for him. "Cole?"

"Cole?" my voice sounded like betrayal itself, husky and barren of honor. He stepped from behind a mausoleum. "You came," on his handsome face was savage triumph.

He moved towards me with a predatory glaring about his form. I began to tremble as my love for Eric overwhelmed and I knew that he could be with a thousand other women and this would still feel filthy. With that thought I found myself retreating from his advance.

I became keenly aware of how large and strong he was and how tiny I was and how alone we were. My back hit a tree and thetr he pinned me. "I knew you would see the sense of this, you felt the sparks between us," his voice was silky and then he fell quiet.

I stared into his foggy eyes "No, this is wrong," I whispered pushing against him. "I took vows and even if I don't believe in God I believe in me."

His hand wrapped around my throat with painful intent and when I reached up to claw his perfect face he captured both my wrists in one brutal fist. His head craned closer and his voice was fierce when he spoke again. "He will never be faithful to you, he has both male and female lovers you know," he watched me for the sign of revulsion he seemed to want.

I kept my face blank "I know those things to be true," I said softly. "And all of them pine away for him day and night," he continued, his grasp about my little neck grew tense with his rage. "Just like you," he snarled. He threw me to cold ground and tore my dress from me. I screamed and he struck me. Blood trickled from the corner of my mouth. "I'm going to tell him that I love him and I will never allow you to make me your whore," I cried struggling against his hold as he parted my legs.

"Let go of my property cousin," drawled a lazy dangerous voice. I looked up and saw Eric staring down at me with an inscrutable expression.

Cole gazed up Eric "Why must you get all the jewels?," he turned his eyes down to me "She of course is in love with you just like every other woman that's ever met you," he fell quiet and Eric tore him off me where he came to his feet rapidly. His voice changed into an ugly falsetto _"He's so mysterious, he's so kind but evil, I adore him!"_

Cole ran his hand through his night colored hair and looked at Eric with such love and loathing that it chilled my blood. I sat up and gathered my dress about me as best I could.

Eric parted his jacket and showed the butt of his pistol "I will kill you if I must cousin, though I would loathe to do so," his tone was powerful in its layers of rage and affection and I could swear there was a touch of wonder too.

Cole scowled and turned and mounted a black stallion. "Isn't it better to allow me to live forever in your shadow? Just a shade of you, with only a touch of your mystery to draw them to me?"

Eric said nothing to that and his expression was dead. Cole wheeled his horse about and forced the beast to fleece the sky with its hooves. It made a romantic image I thought with some dim vestige of myself.

My husband fell to his knees beside me "Why?" the question was stark and filled with deep betrayal.

He looked at me with murder in his eyes _"You agreed to meet my blood relative to betray me, _the raw agony in his voice made me want to die.

"Eric please he threatened to tell you of my love for you," I could hear myself begging and despised myself for it.

My beloved's eyes narrowed "So rather than profess your love to me, you would make yourself a whore?"

His large hands clenched and I feared for my life "Am I such a loathsome monster that adoration for me would drive you to this madness?" He tufted his hair making it stand up in different directions.

"Cover yourself," he sighed out throwing his cloak about me.

I rode behind him and when we got home his silence was stone like. One look at his precious face and I knew that I had wounded him irrevocably.

He called me into the study with a dead expression and made me watch while he kissed a lovely slave girl first on her mouth and then her neck. "Would you stay to watch my love?" he put such a sneer on the last word that it sickened me.

"Did some part of you know that I was there? Is that why you put on such a show of forbearance?" He said this as his elegant hand slipped into the dark girl's bodice.

I shook my head and turned to go "I should have left you to rut with him as you wished when you snuck out like the lying whore you are," he snarled softly. I closed the door behind me and heard the slave girl's moans and fell to my knees in the hallway and wept.

I was dead to him that much was clear to me.

**AN: Many of you are upset with me for this development; let me make something clear. Sookie is 15 years old and Eric is her first love! Of course she is out of her element and she is struggling to control someone who really can't be controlled. Have no fear, she will find her feet again. **


	30. The Burning of Her Brow

I resolved that I would kill my adoration for him any way I could. First of all I would seek an annulment of our marriage. I went to bed and my eyes were dry as the Gobi desert when dreams claimed me.

When I opened my dream eyes I saw that I was in a canyon such as I have never seen. It was in the west somewhere. The walls of stone rose from all sides and a terrible bitter wind blew in all the hollows.

Eric stood in the entrance of a cave far above and I could hear him speaking in an anguished way but not make out the actual words. I made myself float up and saw him surrounded by a ring of fire. Its blaze blinded me until mine eyes adjusted. I stepped into the mouth of it and knelt before my heart made flesh.

His powerful body was in a crouch set in front of me. His chest was bare and a mawing hole marred it's perfection. In his hand he held a pulpy thing that's beating was clamorous in the stillness. "You did this to me," he said soft with such accusation.

I crawled through the flames and oh how they singed my flesh. I held out my hand and he deposited his heart in my palm and when I looked into its depths I saw everything; fields of orchids where infants filled with light and darkness crawled. Birds who walked as if they were men on two legs who spoke with a beautiful deadly cadence; they spoke of death and pride and how the two shall war until the epithelium was decayed. I held the dying thing tenderly to my face and then my love and I shared it as a meal. It tasted of bread pudding laden with some poison.

In the last hunch of bloody meat I saw Minnie lying in her bed that lay near my own and I heard that faintly rattling coughing once more. I dove into the mass in my mouth and inside Minnie. She knelt upon stone floors with her soft kinky hair casting shadows on the flags below her. "Sookie soon," she whispered.

I rushed to her side "Soon?" I echoed dumbly with great terror. I awoke with a scream that seemed to never end. I stumbled from the twisted bedding and ran to Minnie's room. She was there under her soft cotton bedspread and her snoring was the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. For a long moment I simply looked at her. Memorizing her every feature as if I didn't already know the whole of her face by rote. I pulled up a chair and sat beside her for hours. I knew that the dream had been a warning of sorts, or so I feared. My hand reached for hers and I held it too tightly for she awoke. "Sookie? Child?"

My other hand drifted to her forehead and I felt her burning up. "You're sick Minnie," I said quietly. She coughed and a pain blazed through my brain as my jaws tightened.

She released a laugh "Don't look so drear little one, I ain't gonna leave you jest yet," her voice made the words a brave lie; it was a rasp.

I leaned forward and kissed her brow "I'll be right back, I'm going to get you a doctor," I said soothingly keeping my fright from my tone.

I left the room not even noticing that I was still in my nightgown of cotton lace. I went down the stairs with blind eyes. The heat of the house was odd because this time of year it wasn't usually so warm.

I soon discovered why. There was a fire blazing in every hearth in every room. I found Eric lying in his study alone with an empty decanter partially clasped in his sleepy hand. I stood above him and I feared to wake him. Finally I knelt beside him and touched his chest tentatively. He stirred at once. At first his face was tender, his soft mouth seemed to beg me for a kiss.

"Get the fuck away from me," he snarled. I fell back from him as if he dealt me a physical blow.

I shook my head "Please my lord, you don't understand, it's Minnie."

Eric sat up and scrubbed his mouth with his palm "What about her?" the utter coldness in his tone sent dread through me.

When I became lost in a vision of a Minnieless future I felt his hands go cruelly to my shoulders and he nearly cracked the bones. "Speak plainly or be gone from me," I cried out in pain and he looked almost pleased.

"She is sick my lord husband," I said softly and my love had such a mysterious cast to his face. It was every emotion that I have ever had to witness. Joy, sorrow, bitter amusement, triumph and lastly weariness and a vast loneliness. A grim smile crossed his sensual lips. "And you would give anything to make her well once more?" the question was a bullet wrapped in silk that shot straight through my mind and buried itself in my soul. The soul that I hadn't believed in wholly until this moment.

I nodded tightly with a frown "Please if you ever loved me or held me in any esteem send for a doctor," I hated the weakness in me in that still bit of time.

His hands wrapped around my throat with such viciousness that I feared for myself a little but mostly for my dear mammy. "I should kill you where you stand," he murmured.

I trembled at his touch "Kill me after she is saved."

He wrenched me to my feet "Tell me that you adore me," it was a soft grating demand.

I bowed my head and tears formed "No I hate you," I said before I could stop myself. "You have ruined me and tossed my pride and self-worth under your boot from the moment I came here," I flung the words at him and immediately went still with fear.

His body was so large and the coiled rage in in his grasp on me was frightening. His hand wrapped in my long hair and he wrenched my head back and stared down at me. "Do you care so little for her? Are you really as cold as you seem?"

He dragged me from the stuffy heat of the room and down the hall. We stopped before the door that was always locked. He used his free hand to slip a skeleton key from a pocket. "You wished to see this room for a long time did you not?"

The door groaned open with his touch and he flung me inside. "If you wish for Minnie to be cared for you will submit to me in all ways." The sight before me was strange and horrifying.

A seat of leather swung from the wall suspended by steel bearings. Next to that were manacles set a little above the seat. What appeared to be little clamps and a sundry of whips lay on a wood table. The whips appeared coated with some soft stuff. A wheel of padded wood was affixed to the wall which had another set of restraints. It was to this I was caught. I felt the rough kiss of the metal cuffs go about my wrists and ankles which he adjusted for their narrowness.

"When I am done with you, you will beg me to allow you to tell me of your affection for me," he whispered in my ear.

His face became strained with fury "How could you throw me aside like that?" it seemed torn from him and I was sharply reminded of my dark dream of before.

I took a deep breath "Because you have never once been faithful to me Eric, not a single day since I came here. Maybe I did love you once but no more." I knew the moment that the treacherous words left my mouth that I had erred so grievously, so horrendously that all my begging and all my pride would have to be thrown at his feet as if he was a gold idol.

His hands made fists and he slammed one so near my head that the wood shattered and hit my cheek. "So who is that you do love? Cole?"

I shook my head "I cry your pardon my lord, I will submit, only please care for Minnie," how broken that voice sounded, was that me?

**AN: Sookie is acting foolish and careless in regards to Minnie but she is so sick of his unfaithfulness. **


	31. He Shows His Colors And Shadows

As I watched Eric a tear formed in one eye and rolled down his face. "It wasn't supposed to be like this," a clear mourning was in his voice and my heart was moved despite the fact that he would most likely murder me. He gathered a chair that sat incongruously off to the side. He bowed his head and his hands cupped his face. "You don't understand, when I first found you, I had a plan to make you so happy," I watched his hand move like a dove to a drinking pool to swipe a tear from his cheek.

His eyes lifted to mine "I hate you for doing that, for meeting him," he snarled.

"What of Cole, shouldn't the burden rest on his head as well?" I asked with stubborn pride.

He shook his fair head "No, Cole is obsessed with being me and having what I do, it has always been so. He has never been able to see his own self-worth and perhaps I am to blame for that. For years I tossed him my crumbs with love and allowed him to thrive in my shadow."

His hand wafted towards a whip near him and I shivered. "Please don't do this my lord, I have loved you I think since the moment where you first made me laugh," my voice was soft and urgent.

"But you hate me as well?" The question was a trapped bird endlessly smacking the walls.

I stared at the whip and then him "Hate is a rather bold word, but you destroy me and treat me no better than any other you take to bed. I am your wife, and I will someday bear you strong sons. I demand respect," it was hard to sound strong when I was strapped to a wheel of torture with likely instruments about me. But I tried.

Eric nodded with a thoughtful expression "That's true, I have done you a disservice," he rose and looked into my eyes and even though the wheel was high on the wall he was able to see directly into my eyes since he was so very tall. "Do you wish to be free of me?"

The pain on his face was carefully deadened by him but I saw it nonetheless. I turned my face away and sighed. I knew that though I hated him my life would become so pale and colorless without him in it. "If you do not show me reverence or at least respect than yes I will return to my father's."

He flinched slightly "Truly?"  
>"Truly," I replied firmly. "Now unhand me at once and get a damned doctor for Minnie."<p>

Eric scowled but moved towards me "Someday I will bring you here again, but you're right the time for this isn't now."

The cuffs opened and my wrists and ankles were freed. He gathered me to him with deep sigh. "You and I will hate this but Cole is the best doctor I know," he murmured.

I kept my face sleepy with disdain. "Fine, I wouldn't care if the devil himself tended to her."

Eric brushed past me and went up the stairs. He came to Minnie's door and let himself in. He gazed down at her for a long moment with a heated look that at the same time seemed utterly cold. "She is sick with Malaria," he moved to face me "That is what my me-ma died of."

He sat down in the chair that I'd previously occupied. "I have dreamed of her death for endless nights and always awoke with a smile but now…" he trailed of f and looked furious.

"If she should die, what would become of you?" he sounded deeply annoyed.

I stood at his side and my hand glided to his shoulder. "I would go on but part of me would be forever dead," I said truthfully.

Eric inclined his head to her "Then I will instruct Cole to care for her with all his skill," he paused "His knowledge is formidable, he trained in Amsterdam."

I said nothing for a second before going around him to meet his eyes "I wasn't going to go through with it you know," I fell quiet and gathered my thoughts. "To give myself to another would be-I broke off and moved to look upon Minnie.

I felt his arms go about me and his kiss upon my head. "I will treat you better in the future I swear," he vowed.

I instinctively felt that there was more that he wanted to say but couldn't allow himself to. He stepped from me "I want to command you not to be near her until this passes but I know you will refuse."

I turned with a soft smile "Indeed."

We went downstairs then and he made me a strong drink and we sat below my Minnie who was possibly dying. But to her God I trusted. Though I had no belief in him personally I knew that she did and I also knew through phycology books that I've read that sometimes believing in something is enough to make it so.

I sensed his regard and turned my head "You're not in love with him," he said firmly as if to reassure himself.

I laughed like the falling of snow "With him?" I said with clear derision as he had once said when I questioned him about Felicia.

"Where has Matlida been?"

Eric shrugged elegantly "Matilda has a lover that she keeps in the Quarter, she spends most of her time with her when she isn't performing."

My eyes widened slightly "Hmm," was all I could think to say.

My husband smirked over at me with clear amusement. "I hope that someday you and she will be friends," the real and genuine feeling in that statement was interesting.

"You love her don't you?"

My fair haired love smiled tenderly "Yes, when she sings it's the only time I believe in intelligent design."

After a long silence filled with the fire's hissing he spoke softly "I don't know if I'm capable of making you happy. I am consumed with my own oddities and…" his voice died in his throat the words unsaid.

"It is not easy for me to love or even care for any beyond Minnie," I admitted. "I have always been an island, even my father means very little to me," my confession comes as no surprise to my husband.

He laughed quietly and stirred the elderly fire to life with a poker. "I know these things to be true," he whispered.

**AN: Sorry about the miserly length of this update but I'm have company over and I tried like the devil to get this out. **


	32. He's Alive

Cole arrived at dawn and came into the room where I was keeping vigil with Minnie. He gave me a deep brooding look and then when his eyes touched his patient they became full of professionalism. He nearly bustled to her side. His hand lifted her wrist and he counted the beating of her heart.

He looked especially handsome this morn, although I would never tell him so. His coat and trousers were dark gray and he wore a black shirt underneath. His hand feathered to her brow and he sighed. He turned to me halfway "She will most likely be dead in a few weeks," his tone was warm but only in an impersonal manner as if he were injecting something that he'd been taught to.

I sat like a stone at the bottom of a deep lake. Finally I felt his touch upon my shoulder "Sookie?" now the concern in his voice was real and I wondered with some part of myself if he was infatuated with me or merely with the fact that I belonged to Eric. I glanced up and shrugged his touch off "Save her," I snapped.

Cole shook his head "I will do all I can, I will feed her quinine in copious amounts and you will have to see about someone exercising her limbs to keep the stiffness from them," he paused and his eyes searched my continence. "But when the yellow fever strikes there is little that can be done but let it run its course and trust in the body to fight it off, but she is old."

I bristled "She is only fifty five," I said sharply.

Cole smirked and glanced back at her "That isn't long away from the average age of death for most slaves."

Eric swept into the room and looked at me and Cole before giving Minnie a careless glance. I knew that he didn't care about Minnie at all beyond what she meant to me. "How goes it?" he asked addressing his cousin.

Cole shrugged "The negro will most likely die but then the human body is capable of so much," his eyes went to my mammy thoughtfully "And she was healthy enough before the fever took her."

"Come let us take a drink," he murmured.

Eric gave him a dead expression "I think not," he said in a clipped manner.

Cole smiled faintly and then bent down and kissed my cheek. Eric moved so fast that I nearly didn't see the motion. He wrenched Cole from me and punched him so hard that blood flowed from his nose that the two shared. "She is my wife, and you will not touch her," he snarled.

Cole held his hands up in gesture calling for peace "It was merely a sign of familial affection," he said spuriously.

Eric laughed "That is very little consolation in our family as you know," for me it was bitter reminder of his incestuous history that ran through both his life and that of his family. But in those days it was not uncommon for families of wealth and power to intermarry and engage in other unmentionable ways. Now that I have entered my twilight years that practice has died along with a way of life that was gone with the wind.

But back to the present time of the story. I watched the two handsome men circle each other and sighed. " Cole I thank you for what little you did for my mammy which was nothing. Get out."

Eric chuckled and looked delighted with my statement and even Cole had a faint smile "You are so much more than you seem," he said in a mild way before departing.

My husband looked to me "He's right you know, you are."

I nodded with little interest as I knew my own worth. We left what I had now began to think of as the sick room and retired to the library. There a corpse like fire in the hearth and Eric summoned a slave to build it anew.

Something bizarre overcame the mood of our silence; some hideous awareness of each other as sentient beings whose very coldness of spirit could devour the world. But perhaps that was my own fancy.

"I should wonder at times when the moon is dying if I will ever enjoy death," Eric said abruptly into the quietude.

I glanced over and drew my little legs under me "I never wonder that because I know that there is absolutely nothing to look forward to, just a vast void where you go and yourself dissolves," I replied with weariness.

Eric seemed mirthful at my reply "That's what I meant of course, I wonder if oblivion will be a relief."

"Oh well, as to that I am sure that it won't make a difference since you will have no mind or spirit left," I said with infinite calm which hid my occasional terror of death.

"I had a dream where I saw visions in your heart," I confessed in a spurt of aberration.

He turned in his chair "Did you indeed?" his interest seemed quite real and when I inclined my head to show the truthfulness of this he gestured languidly with hidden excitement. "And what did you see?"

I told him of all of it leaving only out the part where his heart being displaced from his chest had been a crime laid at my feet. He seemed intrigued almost acutely.

A knock crowded us and Matilda stood in the doorway with her big cheeks flushed with exertion "Hello," she said to us both as she made her way to the liqueur cabinet. She poured herself a very alcoholic and masculine serving size of some amber liqueur and then left the room.

Eric was looking after her with great amusement "Do you know that Matilda is also a portrait artist?"

I shook my head and he went on "Yes she is the most sought after one in all of New Orleans."

I frowned for a moment and decided to be honest "I have no use for art," I said quite rudely.

He seemed wounded by this news but unsurprised "I feared as much."

I smirked just a tiny bit "I want you to fuck me right now," I said with a decided twinkle in my voice.

His eyes that haunt the inner chambers of my beating decaying heart glimmered with excitement. "Do you indeed wife?"

I said nothing and my hands went to my dress and he moved swiftly and tore it from me "Eric that was one of my best frocks," I said mostly not caring.

"I am the richest man in all of America," he said solemnly as he crushed me beneath him. "I can afford for you to have a new dress every day of the miserable week."

I peered up at him "Do you despise me now that you know I love you like all the rest?" the question made me vulnerable but I had to ask.

He pretended or perhaps it was no farce to think on that as his eyes contemplated my bare breasts "No," he said after great length. "With the others it matters little of their devotion but with you it's quite a surprise."

He rolled off me and I nearly scowled but it seemed that he would rather talk for a moment longer "You truly want me to be faithful don't you?" a look of cruel curiosity infused his face.

I turned my face away to the bright heat of the flames "Yes I do, but I am not so great a fool to expect it," I said bitterly.

I felt his large hand go to my jaw and make my face turn to him "I have such hunger for the flesh, I could try to be constant in my affections but I will most likely fail."

His eyes were so bright and dark at once and his lids lowered over them obscuring their contents cleverly. "Do you expect my faithfulness when you have none for me?"

His mien darkened "I would want it but I recognize the unfairness of that, so no," it seemed as if I was back in the dream then and I could feel the bloody mess of his heart beating wildly in my palm, the words broke him.

I felt the future filth of my affairs that haven't yet passed coat my skin and mind and felt sickened. "Then we will both enjoy others outside our marriage?"

Eric scowled "It would seem so," he growled sitting up and I could feel his fury. His head turned and his eyes were nearly the green of pine trees "I forbid you to fuck Cole though," he fell into a silence then that's brooding crawled across me as if it were a cavalry of spiders.

"Why?" I asked stubbornly.

He rose to his feet and made a drink angrily "Because I have shared every woman I've ever known with him and I will not have that happen, not with you," his back was to me but I could sense his pain.

He pivoted "Besides he is the only man I know whose beauty approaches mine own," he added peevishly.

I said nothing but at the thought of being with other men I felt only a vague nauseousness. Eric downed his drink in one swallow and his hand flew out and the poor tumbler smashed against the wall and the tinkling was horrible and wonderful at the same time. _He cared. He did not wish to share me. _

He rounded on me then with such wrath embodying him that I shrank back instinctively "My Lord?" I uttered foolishly.

"I can't condone it love, I know it's fair but the thought of another man taking you to bed makes me want to die."

His hands went to his hair and tufted it up in that way that set my blood to boil. "You must. If you will share yourself with so many," I insisted hoping only to move him to a vow of fidelity.

Eric's eyes were glowing with the light of his own dark soul as he advanced on me. He crouched before me and looked as if he would murder me and I found it thrilling. His darkness juxtaposed with his odd gentleness was so beautiful to me. It reminded me how as a child I had used to sneak from my bed and take long walks in the dark completely unafraid.

"Mine," he snarled softly in my ear as he crushed me against the floor and his body. When he entered me it was with a savageness that I reveled in. Because it was passionate and so many are dead inside with nothing that ever moves them to laughter nor tears nor anything save a false front of humanity. My husband was the one person I've ever known that is truly _alive_.


	33. The Spider Web That Made Me Weep

Two days passed where I did nothing but watch my Minnie slowly relinquish her hold on life. Her hold on me and my heart. There was nothing in the world that I wouldn't give to have her restored. My youth, my beauty, my very sight. Indeed being blind would be preferable to seeing this desecration of her.

Eric knocked perfunctorily and came in and I could feel him burning behind me with his strange consuming passion for life; I didn't even need to see his face to know that he was brooding on something. "She is dying," he said curtly.

I nodded and didn't turn from her face. "I will be all alone in a world I despise," I said quietly.

His hands came to rest on my head with great gentleness "You will have me."

I moved my head up till our eyes met "What good is a faithless love?" The question was so bloody and cruel that when he seemed shattered by it, I nearly cried out.

He sank into a crouch and his hands hung like two works of art between his legs as he bowed his moonlight shrouded head "Why is it so important that I be constant to you? When no man is ever faithful to his wife."

My back went stiff "My father never once lay with another until after mother died and even then I'm not certain he did."

Eric stared at me with haunted eyes so beautiful in their ceaseless melancholy with their long lush lashes and burning color. "You can't know that Sookie, you were a child with an idealized image of your father, I am certain that he had many lovers."

I nearly slapped him in fact my hand rose to do so and his gaze narrowed "Don't," he softly warned. I heard from the bed a death rattle and I ran to her side. Her face in just a week's time had grown nearly gaunt and her skin yellowed. I crawled into the bed next to her desperate to feed her my vitality.

He loomed over us and I despised him for his coldness in that moment. There was not an ounce of compassion in his face. What he said next made my very eyes a liar. "I will bring Amelia here to sit with her, you must eat something, you are wasting away," the words were an unveiling of some layer of his affection for me and also I knew that by bringing Amelia here to be with my Minnie that he was imparting something of import.

Amelia was the old woman that he'd sat with and smiled so proudly at when she'd said that the balm had helped. His hand closed over my right wrist and he tugged me gently from the bed.

I followed him as if I were a mere shadow of his luster; a shade passing through some compartment of his life. He led me to the kitchen and did something so surprising. He made banana pudding with his own hands. His slaves had gone stock still when he'd entered "Leave me," he'd murmured.

Finally it was done and he sat down at the square table of expensive walnut and began to feed me with his own hands. I accepted each bite with an ache in my chest. He watched me as if the whole world was contained in my face. Inside the icy tundra of my being I felt a burning that came from my unwilling love for him.

When the pudding was mostly gone he set down his soft spoon of wood and he began to speak. "Do you wish to know why I have so many lovers?"

I said nothing and inwardly cringed and he went on in a stark voice "There is a great emptiness that consumes me in the dead of night," he fell silent then for an endless time where I watched the rise and fall of his chest.

He lifted his eyes to mine and sighed "I'm not certain that one person no matter how dynamic could ever fill the witching hour's void." Then he lifted the spoon and ate the last bite with a look of piercing sorrow on his face.

I just sat there and said nothing while inside I was perishing. "As soon as my heart is buried in her grave, I will take a lover," each word was slowly said so that he couldn't mishear me.

I could see the desire for my death in his eyes, and the longing for my love which warred like the night and day and the changing of the seasons. Snow and spring blossoms marrying in a ceremony as old as time and as new as the squall of an infant. "I forbid it," he said finally.

I stood and cast him a look full of concealed emotion "You will not forbid me this or I will leave you," I swept from the table and the swishing of my skirts and the groaning of the late autumn wind filled me.

I heard a strangled sound behind me and felt a grip of furious passion go about my throat "You can never leave me," he snarled into my ear.

My back was to him "Of course I can," I said coldly.

"Let me go my lord," I moved to step free of him and he allowed it. I became aware of a spider dancing in its web in the kitchen window. I moved closer to it and then just stared at it. It was fat but had pretty colors on it bright green and blue dots that looked like eyes. And it was clearly an artist. It is fair to say that never have I seen a painting that moved me as much as this little web that was held together by sheer will against the harsh bustle all around it.

Before I could stop it I was weeping. I was the fly that the spider had wrapped up so lovingly, I could feel myself struggle inside the silken swaddling; awaiting my death by exsanguination.

Eric Northman my lord husband stepped behind me and I felt a cold drop of moisture hit the crown of my head. And then another. Two tears and it was as if I was drowning.

Together we watched the fly be devoured and slowly my tears died in my eyes.

We left the that kitchen and returned to the house. "I want to bathe you," he said when we got back.

The thought of his gorgeous tainted hands washing me sickened me and made me ache with longing. When I shook my head he scowled. "You will not forbid me this, it is my right."

He picked me up and we swept up the marble stairs into the gloomy shadows of the unlit halls. It was dark because all the doors were closed blocking out the light from the windows within.

We came to his private rooms and he rang a soft cord of cotton that hung from the ceiling and slaves came as fast as their feet could carry them. "I want a bath drawn for my lady wife, with lavender oil, thank you and be quick about it," a pause as they questioned where it should be set.

"Here where I stand," he snapped.

I stood as if I were already naked. That he would demand to see me so vulnerable and demand to wash me made me ill with rage and a queer gratefulness. The tub came in and the slaves began filling it. A soft bar of scented soap was set down on a cart for just such occasions. Also a glass bottle filled with a thick liquid that smelled of strawberries.

"Take your clothes off little one," he ordered.

I stood mute but my hands went helplessly to do his bidding. When I was bare to his eyes and the world he lifted me as if I were a child in truth and set me into the steaming copper tub.

He bid me dip my long hair into the water after he undid my braid. I obeyed and he washed my hair and I felt his heart beat pick up through the touch of his fingertips upon my head. Or so I thought. "You have the most enchanting hair I've ever seen," his whisper ate away at my resistance.

Then after my locks were fresh he began to wash me so reverently like a priest coddling God. That he was madly deeply in love with me I had no doubt. His hands cupped my small breasts and he got on his knees and sucked them savagely with little bites. Then one drifted down between my legs and he slipped one hungry finger inside me.


	34. The Death And Birth of My Heart

Slowly he delved another finger inside me. Soon I was aching for his girth. He lifted me from the tub and slammed me against the wall. I was soaked and he took of his sodden shirt and unbuttoned his pants and slid into my treacherously wet center. I clung to him as if he were a parcel of driftwood in a raging river as he claimed me.

He thrust into me hard and swift and it was glorious. I knew that even if I should make good on my word that no other lover could compare to him. His beauty was lush and decadent as if it contained the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden.

Against the silken wallpaper he pounded into me and then pinned my arms above me and I loved every brutal moment. Love dictated every moan that I made and every movement of my hips. He was bruising me, nearly tearing me apart and it felt wonderful.

I wanted to ask him then if he was so passionate with others but the question died unasked on my lips. I would not profane this sensation for all the questions in the world. He cupped my diminutive bottom in both hands and took me standing. The new position allowed him to hit my womb with his shaft and I screamed. The smile of ecstasy and deep longing on his face made my cry out which was music to us both. He wanted to wreck me with his passion and I wanted to be destroyed.

I wanted to feel. Something, anything. That he was the only one besides Minnie that mattered to me was a compelling bit of knowledge that lodged in my heart like an arrow head. "I adore you," he said softly before crushing my lips to his. I moaned against his mouth and wanted to deny him my body, my sacred entrance but I was helpless before my desire for him.

Standing with his hands cupping my bottom he pounded me against the wall and I knew myself to be lost. His length and width were everything in the world that mattered. That my heart was dying in another part of the house was a distant thing. That I would never again love as truly once she passed was a figment of my mind.

He threw me to the floor on a bearskin rug and the rough softness of it was exquisite. His hands wrapped around my throat and he stared intently into my eyes "No one will ever fuck you like this, your other lovers will be corpses inside you," he said with great certainty.

And I knew it to be true and hated him for it. I tried to fight him off then but it was useless I was dripping wet and he knew I wanted him to claim me. We we're twined for hours in a primal dance. When it was over there were bruises on me and I could have sworn he'd cracked a rib.

He cradled me to him with such a childlike abandon that I was despite my anger at him; moved. The lamp light seemed both distant and immediate as it bathed his face. His face seemed as if it was the most perfect thing of art I'd ever seen. I realized in that moment why art never moved me. It was only in nature that I found my heart touched. The spider web of earlier and his face were connected in way that I couldn't have articulated and wouldn't if I could.

His eyes were shadowed with despair and love and he gave a long sigh that rocked our two bodies. "I will not take another lover as long as I can," he whispered softly to me. And I knew it was the closet he could come to saying that he would be faithful to me. I kissed his mouth hungrily in thanksgiving.

I fell asleep in the cage of his gilded arms as if I were a child in the arms of that glorious statue "David". I awoke and heard Eric speaking at the table in the other room with my excellent hearing. I have always had the best senses of anyone I've known excepting Minnie. My eye sight was that of a hawk and my hearing that of a bat.

"I'm in love with her so madly that she is all that I think of, I was fucking Seth and all I could think on was her."

A soft moan was uttered then and then a rattling cough "Oh chile you knew when you first got her portrait that you were done fer."

"What shall I do nanny?" he asked in a quiet mournful way.

I crept from the bed my eyes so hungry for the sight of him. Amelia was the one facing me in my narrow vision. Her old face was a testament to beauty that refused to go quietly into the night. Her features were exquisite and I could see Emmire in them so clearly. No wonder his beauty had moved me. I knew then that beauty was important to me just not in art. A painting meant nothing but the mere symmetry of a human face could matter to me.

Her lips were very full and her skin a bronzed gold. "I had a dream last night of my dear Felicia," she murmured. I saw Eric's profile tighten and he sighed "I tried not to send her from you but she would have killed Sookie," he paused and bowed his head. "And that I couldn't have."

The old woman went on as if he hadn't spoken "Oh I always knew her nature and loved her jest the same. You can't love a tiger without being aware of its claws. In the dream she was floating in petals black with death, and I knew she was gone from the world."

"I'm just waiting to hear the news," she added and her eyes were filled with a dark awareness of her own mortality. As I write this tale my fingers are bent with age and my hair is silver, to this tale of love I have given the last of my vitality.

I know that in my own way this is the story of my life. My love for mine husband is the greatest tale I have to tell. Death is coming soon and I write this for my children and their children. But back to the moment which I am determined to set down. Eric had his profile to me and Amelia was facing me.

"She is dead, I wanted to tell you the other day," Eric whispered and my unnatural hearing picked it all up.

Amelia gasped and covered her decaying butterfly mouth "How?"

"She threw herself into a pond weighted with stones. I have to go to the service for her tonight that is why I came for you."

I listened carefully for sounds of mourning in my husband's voice but there was only a weariness as old as time.

"Oh she loved you so, she usta to come acrying to me in the dead of night about you," Amelia said mournfully. Her darkly golden fingers twisted on the tabletop.

"How did you learn of this?" was her next words.

"Cole sent one of his ravens last night with the news and a slave awakened me."

Amelia nodded and tears gathered in her green eyes "My own mother used to dream true just as I do."

She stood as if waiting for something that both of them knew was coming. Eric joined her and gathered her close. "I'm so very sorry nanny, I tried to be kind to her but her desperate love was sickening to me," he murmured against her silver kinky hair.

She looked up at him with adoration "Oh Eric I always knew that you tried," she said softly.

Eric kissed her cheek fervently and I was reminded of the way a priest would kiss their Jesus should he come into their embrace.

"How will I be faithful to my wife as I want to be?"

Amelia smiled then and it was mournful "I'm not certain if your flesh can be, but your heart will always belong to her," that was the last thing she said before she gathered her cane and made her time worn way out of his chambers.

I fled on my silent feet to bed and feigned sleep. I heard my love change his clothes and his departure.

I got up the instant he went down the sturdy stairs and went to the other wing of the house where Minnie lay. When I opened the door she was sitting up reading her bible which my Grandfather had had made for her. All the images had been crafted so that the people of that book were dark skinned like she. I knew enough of the place which the bible had been written to know that that was most likely accurate.

I stepped softly in and sat on the edge of the bed and she glanced up and placed her marker of ivory inside its pages and set it down. "I will be gone by morning," she said matter of factly. But in her eyes was a deep sorrow not for herself but for me.

It was the first time that she'd spoken really other than incoherent mumblings since she'd taken the fever. I reached for her hand and it was the day and night meeting in the flesh. My hand so ivory and hers so dark.

"I will never be whole without you," I said with the little bit of passion available to me.

"I dreamed that an angel came to me a few hours ago, and he swore that you would be looked after when I am gone."

I just looked at her and tried to look as if I believed such nonsense. She laughed gently and her grip on me tightened "You don't need to believe it chile, it's enough for me to know that it will be so."

I got in bed with her and cradled her dear body to me just as Eric had me earlier. "Felicia is dead," I told my Minnie.

Minnie looked only sad at the news and I was irritated with her for it. "How tragic, she loved him so," she whispered.

"It's not tragic at all, in fact I wish it was I that had sown her grave," I told Minnie.

Minnie laughed and stroked my long hair "Oh Sookie you is so fierce, how I love that about you."

I turned and stared at her determined to memorize her face for all time. "There has never been another besides you that I have ever loved besides him."

My mammy nodded "And I know you don't mean your daddy," she patted my arms and the soft feel of her palms haunts me even now while death looms around every shadowy corner.

I smirked and we both shared in our amusement. "What will I do when you are gone?"

Minnie shrugged "You will go on, just like you always have. If anything my death will make you stronger. That is the way of the strong, tragedy only strengthens them, makes them more than they are. Now the weak will break with any ill wind," then her dear face broke into a grin. "That is why I always doted on you so."

"When I am gone I want Matlida to sing "Amazing Grace" at my service," she said touching her bible with her free hand.

My own hand drifted to her bible "I have always been so happy that you have your God," I confessed with such love that it nearly murdered me.

She smiled and it was sunlight across a tomb "I know you have child, you never once looked down on me because of it, and you never once hated me for the color of my skin."

Her eyes fluttered and the light began to go out of them and I held her close willing death to find another. "No Minnie, Fight it!"

Her breathing slowed and her hand clutched me and her good book. When she took her last breath I began to scream so loudly and endlessly that I drew the whole of the house.

And I discovered that my husband had not yet left the residence. After his slaves flooded the room he stepped in and sank into the chair beside the bed and bowed his head. "It is finished," he said softly. "And I find that I couldn't be sadder," he added.

He scooted the chair closer and touched Minnie's coldening hand with great gentleness. "I am so sorry my little love," he murmured.

**AN: The End of the story is coming soon. There will be maybe two or three chapters more, that is all. I feel sad about that too as this story has been so close to me and so alive for so many weeks. **


	35. The Blossoms, The Heat, My Tears

That day I wept alone in the garden that my love had crafted so carefully. Rain began to fall onto the blossoms and my cheeks. I moved to the swan bench that Eric had made and stroked it's stone wings with tenderness. He was inside watching me from the hothouse, but trying to pretend he was merely tending to his children. He who knew me so well knew that I needed space, that tears would make me fragile and weak and that I would rather die than have anyone hear them. Of course I'd wept before him twice now but this was different. My world had perished and I realized that I was still in some ways a child though I was a wife.

I sank to my knees and tussled a rose bush that someone had painstakingly removed all the thorns from. The silk of their faces so brilliant in crimson and white filled with me with indescribable longing. It was the red of Minnie's cloth that she'd worn nightly to bed about her hair and it was the white that I'd desired to make her flesh. Not that I hadn't always found her and her kind unimaginably lovely but for her to a negro in our world was so cruel. So unfair.

I lay back under the broad canopy of an oak tree and watched the Spanish moss dance above me. The cicadas whirred and the wind blew. My hand felt something cool against it and I looked and saw the rose quartz of the path. That he should have picked something so ethereal to walk upon was so gracious and wonderful to me. At least I have him, I remember thinking as my tears flowed down my pale face.

Time seemed to stop then and though it was near the end of October it was so languorously warm and the heat of the earth and the coolness of the crystal under my hand lulled me into a place beyond my pain. I heard with some distant part of myself a familiar tread coming down the path. He crouched beside me and plucked a flower and tucked it behind my ear. "I dreamed of you here in this garden for almost every night for weeks," he confessed.

He continued "Felicia is dead," his tone was flat.

I went very still and my eyes closed "Yes I know."

I felt him strike me then a soft glancing blow "How dare you," he hissed. Because of course he knew that if I knew of her demise I also knew that he was madly in love with me.

"Well, it _was_ informative that even when you were fucking Seth that your thoughts were upon me," I bit out.

His eyes held my own and the look to them was deep with layers of emotions. Shame and remembered pleasure and a daring as if to push me to be disgusted by him. "Does that disgust you?" his voice was soft and silky.

I sat up and scowled "What that you indulge in unnatural acts or that you're a faithless whore?"

He flinched just in his eyes and stood to take a seat on the swan "Crawl to me wife," he commanded.

I shook my head "No my lord whore I won't."

Eric's decadently beautiful face hardened "Yes Sookie, or I will drag you."

I stood to go and he grasped me about the waist and threw me to my knees. "I have told you that I will be faithful to you for as long as I can be," he snarled with his face so close. I was hypnotized by his mouth so close to mine and nearly began to tremble with my desire for him. There we're in the most lovely garden I've ever seen with me kneeling on the rose crystal and him crouched before me.

"Yes I slept with him that night for the same reason I used to fuck Felicia," he fell silent for a long time where I watched how indescribable the hue of his hair was in the dappled light from the heavens above. "Because I am trying not to face that you are the only one I want, you are always in my mind," with that passionate statement he ripped me to my feet and led me over to the swan that he'd made when he was a year younger than I and sat down. He forced me to the knees and undid his trousers. "You will pleasure me, now," he commanded.

I grew wet in my underthings and took him in my mouth, uncaring if slaves watched. He was _huge_ and silky. I sucked and licked my way till I nearly had a release of my own all without his touch.

He pulled himself free of me and threw me up against a flowering Magnolia and took me with great force. His hands wrapped around my throat till I thought I would pass out with the pleasure and pain so exquisitely mingled.

For once he didn't rip my clothes off, he simply lifted my skirts for access. He pounded into me a sea of passion that I was dying for. My whole life of coldness had led me to this man whose very breath was filled with verve. We were made for each other. As I write this I hold in my hand a tintype of him at the age of thirty wearing his typical mysterious smile with his lazy hooded gaze upon me as I took the picture. I became a photographer of note for some years in New Orleans.

But back to this moment that still dances and twirls in my mind even now. His hands left my bruised throat and he pinned my shoulders to the rough bark and his lovemaking was desperate and filled with the anguish of his undesired affection and longing for me. I was thrilled and tears escaped me as he pumped his seed deep inside my womb.

I knew in that moment that a child had just been conceived. I prayed fervently in that instant that it would be a son. A son that was as wonderful and tender and strange as its father.

We fell against each other in the lusty breeze. "Do you wish to see her in her coffin?" he asked against my ear.

I looked up and he laughed "You are so very cruel my love," the affection was so heavy in those few words.

"Very well we will go to her wake and tomorrow at dusk we will bury your dear Minnie."

I nodded and my head fell heavy upon his chest where he stroked my long hair with something like awe.

I got dressed in the gown that I'd worn for my mother's funeral and we took his black carriage that was pulled by three black palfreys. When we arrived at Cole and Court's mansion it was indeed palatial.

There were magnolia blossoms threaded together all over the chandeliers. And white taper candles surrounded her coffin. A shroud of muslin kept her corpse from my greedy eyes. I had hated her so very much that the only emotion that I felt looking in on her was regret. That I had not been the one to take her from this world. Cole was kneeling on the little cushion praying I suppose and tears were falling from his eyes.

He glanced up and shock was on his face "You would bring her here?" he snarled.

Eric laughed and kissed my neck "She couldn't resist," he murmured.

Cole got up and when he would have struck me Court grabbed his arm "No, Felicia did much to deserve Sookie's rancor," his voice was soft and its contents surprised me so greatly.

Cole stared at Eric with such despair and hate "You did this," he pointed to the body of his love. "She died for love of you that you wouldn't ever return," he was shouting now and the measly gathering turned to watch.

"You threw her kindness only as a game before you tossed more cruelty to her," he went on.

Eric was just standing there looking at his cousin with no expression. "And?" he drawled.

Cole lunged for him and Courtland stepped between them and backhanded Cole. "Get a hold of yourself, I loved her too, but this is unseemly."

Cole's breathing was frantic, his color high.

"You loved her not and only used her for your dark pleasure, you've paid your respects to me, leave," he said to his fair haired grandson.

Eric nodded and looped his powerful arm about my waist and we departed.

Soon I would stand on the edge of the world and perhaps as her coffin was lowered I would finally believe in hell. But it wouldn't be below the earth; it would be on it.

**So I'm going to try to do at least four more chapters. I don't want this story to have an abrupt ending like all my others. **


	36. The Rain, The Earth That Covered Her

After we left twilight was heavy upon the carriage. Eric's hand drifted to mine in the shadows of the conveyance. His touch on me was fire to my ice. I felt ashamed of my feelings as I had looked upon Felicia's body. She'd been a human being with a real beating heart and a life and I'd felt nothing buy joy at her demise. The rain of earlier seemed to settle into the grooves of the night. It was a rain that would last for days.

That night after returning home we retired to the study and sat before a hissing fire. "That is dress is small on you," he observed as we sat.

I nodded "Yes I've had it since my mother passed."

We were quiet for a spell and listened to the rain pattering down the panes of glass.

I looked over and caught his face in my mind like a snapshot to always remember the way it looked in that instant. Before time had sunk its claws into him. He half turned to me "What is it Sookie?"

"I'm thinking of the impermanence of us, we are decaying," I fell quiet for a second "Like plucked flowers," said I finishing my thought.

Eric stood and made us drinks and when he moved to hand one to me I shook my head "No thank you, I would rather have some juice."

His head tilted to the side and his eyes widened "You think you are with child."

I said nothing trembling internally with fear at his reaction. He slung back both drinks and walked over to me and fell to his knees and pressed his face against my stomach. "My daughter," he whispered. I felt a shock go through me at his words.

"Don't you want a son?" if I sounded astonished can you blame me?

His hand caressed me "At some point yes, but I want a daughter that looks just like you, that I can coddle and pamper and dress up," he glanced up and the excitement in his gaze was _real._

That he should firstly want a girl was so wonderful and irritating to me. "But I hate women," I snapped.

He laughed and rose to reclaim his seat his next to mine "Yes I know but you shan't hate our little one, she will be filled with our strength and beauty."

I rubbed my tummy "I want a son, daily I will pray to the stars for it to be so."

Eric scowled into the fire "As you wish love, we shall have a brood of babes," he fell quiet and a look of coming ecstasy infused him. "You will look so lovely carrying my child," he turned to me with such adoration that I felt breathless.

He stood and picked me up and cradled me as if I were one of his orchids. "Children are the most wonderful beings in the world besides flowers and animals," he said laying me into our bed.

He made love to me then tenderly and though I despised it gentleness I understood he acted from fear. We lay in the massive four poster bed with the warm wind heavy with the innocence and brooding inherent in rain. Thunder cut a sword across the velvet of the sky.

It was the beginning of a storm that would last seven days. When I awoke Eric was in the other room reading a book in the predawn softness coming through the window. He glanced up with such delight "Mine," he said quietly. I wondered if he meant me or the babe growing or both.

"My lord, many babes die before being born," said I coming to sit across from him. He looked so wounded by my words that I wished to snatch them back. "Our child will not perish," he said with great firmness.

We ate breakfast in his chambers and he watched me as if I were all things that he worshiped.

Minnie's body was laid downstairs in the second parlor which had been cleared of furniture and after I had eaten little I went down to sit with her. Matilda was there sitting in one of the pews that had been brought in for the occasion.

She moved her great head when I entered and I saw that her eyes were dry but her mien was distraught. "Sookie," she greeted in her gruff voice.

I sat in my own pew and stared at my Minnie "Matlida," I returned. She rose from her perch and placed a rosary of amber beads around Minnie's dead hands. "I didn't know her," she said quietly. "But I will sing her soul to heaven," was the last thing she said before leaving.

Outside a storm of epic proportions was brooding making the oaks and magnolias shiver and tremble. I wondered how we would ever bury my mammy. I drew close and stared down at her and tried to see the face that I'd always loved so. But it wasn't there; the nose was the same but the lips seemed faded and flatter. I realized for the first time that my mammy hadn't been beautiful; it was only her spirit and love for me that had always made her seem so.

I heard the rush of feet coming and turned expecting to see Eric but it wasn't him. It was my father, I had written him of Minnie's passing and the fact that he came with such haste was heartening.

We embraced for a moment before he released me knowing that I don't like to be touched. He gazed down at Minnie with a luster of melancholy to his face. "My father was so in love with her," he said softly.

He glanced up at me "He would spend all his time with her and ignore my mother," the bitterness in his voice always explained the sharpness in his voice when he would addresses Minnie.

"We had a bigger funeral for the bastard that he sired with her than when my own sister died."

I stood stock still "Yes Minnie told me of this before she died," I murmured. My father sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair. "So many times I nearly sold her; one day I came in to tell her to pack her things and saw you being held so tenderly by her that I found I was incapable of it."

He went on, "You used to call her momma when you thought there were no ears to hear you," he fell silent and his eyes were shadowed "I heard you though, but I kept it from your mother and sat you down and explained that you were white and she was a negro and that there was no way she could ever be your mother, oh how you cried."

Eric came in so gracefully behind my father that my heart thundered in my chest. "Edmund how good of you to come," he said in a hearty manner slapping my father about his back.

Father coughed "Yes well Minnie has been in our family for ages and she was dear to Sookie," but I got the sense that there was something more to his coming than the stated reasons. My sire all these years had deeply resented Minnie on many levels. And this was closure for him.

We sat down in a pew and said nothing and I noticed that my father was wearing a shabby suit and I knew that there was some message here as well. It was his way of tipping his nose up at the proceedings. Eric on the other hand was dressed resplendently in a black brocaded jacket and crisp white shirt with a black cravat and fitted trousers of a matching shade with high boots polished to a high gloss.

The room begin to fill with slaves and Matilda came in a gown of turquoise velvet with lace at the collar and cuffs. And once again I was ashamed of my initial response to her ugliness. And when she began to sing "Amazing Grace" I knew that the only beauty that truly matters is inner, what comes from the soul and not transitory flesh.

I stood and made my way to the pew and I shivered before the ebony eyes of my husband's property, those that he took so great care of. I cleared my throat and tried to think of something to say. "Minnie was strong, like me, she made me what I am today," I looked to the ceiling "And if there is indeed a God let him take her into his embrace." With that I walked from the room and watched from the mouth of the room as two slaves and my father and Eric carried the coffin from the room out to the waiting carriage.

I didn't get in and decided to walk in the rain. It felt appropriate that it should be so gloomy, so beautiful on this day. If it had been sunny on this day it would have left a sour taste in my soul.

Eric was behind me I realized. He came abreast of me and his hand found mine. Slowly we walked uncaring that our hair and faces were being misted and finally we came to a mawing hole and the black coach and black stallions that had drawn it here. Matilda was here as well and when I threw the first clod of dirt on the coffin she sang "Swing low Sweet Chariot" and it was touching. I resisted the urge to cry. I would show no weakness before these people I knew not.

Then it was done and I was all alone. Until a touch came on my cheek and I saw my husband watching me softly. "It is finished," he said leaning in to kiss me. I dipped my flesh to his lips and we got into the carriage and the slaves followed behind singing hymns in the pouring rain. Lighting flashed and thunder boomed and below the earth my youthful heart was rotting from my sight.


	37. Amelia

After the funeral I had warmed by fire milk with honey made by Amelia. We sat at the expensive walnut table of the roughhewn kitchen. "Tell of him when he was a child," I prodded.

Amelia's face lit up and I could see that she couldn't have loved him more if she'd given birth to him herself. "Oh he was darling!" she exclaimed. "Very loving, very sensitive and always with a touch of cruelty," at the last word her face became sad.

At this I became internally flustered with excitement with which I strove to hide. "What sort of cruelty?" this was the thing that struck me as a prevailing characteristic of both of us.

"Oh he would befriend someone only to tell them that their place in this world was unremarkable and that they were boring and dull, that sort of thing," she fell silent and her face became coated with memory.

"But oh was he kind to animals and his mother taught him all she knew of gardening, he would spend hours beside her and tend to the plants in the hot house. It wasn't until he was a man grown that he began the garden behind it."

I chewed my lower lip and thought on all of this. This was a new thing to me; my interest in my husband. I've never been terribly interested in anyone. "Was he always fair to look upon?"

This question seemed useless for as soon as I asked it for I knew the answer. "Oh my yes, he came into this world with a thick shock of silver blond hair and we all thought it would turn dark gold but it never has," she murmured with such personal pride that it was almost amusing but yet endearing to me.

"Were you his nurse maid?"

Amelia shook her head "No, his mother was adamant that she breast feed herself, though of course that simply wasn't done by well-bred ladies of the time, why even now it's not common."

"But you helped raise him?" I knew this answer too but I wished to see the emotion on her face when she replied.

"Yes I dressed him until he refused my help and I taught him hymns and his alphabet, among other things." So this woman knew how to read, that was interesting.

"Who taught you?"

"Oh Master Courtland did, he taught all the slaves that mattered to him."

I was astonished "That cruel man taught you your letters?"

Amelia looked offended which only intrigued me "Courtland _could_ be cruel but he was mostly kind to those he deemed worthy of it." She leaned forward with an air of conspiracy "Why, he still comes and has tea with me twice a week," she whispered this and looked around to the walls as if they would repeat her confession.

"Why is he so cruel to Eric?"

Amelia seemed thoughtful at that "I have often wondered that myself and the only thing I can think is that he has always found him to be too odd, he tried to make him like everyone else and my little man always resisted."

I digested this and just when I was going to question her further Eric walked in and sat down next to me and across from Amelia. His face when he looked to her was filled with such affection that it was nearly like seeing another person in his place. "Have you been filling my bride's head with your idle memories?" his tone was a mix of coolness and warmth.

Amelia chuckled "Yes Master but she was asking and you know I never tire of remembering my times with you," her voice was soft.

My lord husband smiled tenderly and picked up a package that he'd been carrying and set it on the table "I bought you something that I sent to Paris for," he sounded quite eager to show her.

He shoved the wrapped package across to her and I noted that the wrapping alone was expensive. His 'nanny' as he called her, face lit up and she took great care not to rip the paper. Inside was the most wonderful shawl of multi colored cashmere. The colors were vibrant with gold and green and black and someone had woven in with an artist's touch an image of a saint floating.

She touched it with reverence and tears came to her eyes "Thank you kindly Master Eric."

He beamed delightedly "I had them make it with the image of St. Barnabas as I know him to be your favorite."

She nodded and touched the woven face lightly "Yes I knew that at once," she glanced up and I nearly felt as if I was intruding so close were they in spirit. And the lack of my Minnie was keenly felt in that moment. They shared what Minnie and I had once.

I nearly teared up before I remembered myself and that I am never weak; or that is what I would believe of myself. We all have an illusion that we shroud ourselves with don't we?

Amelia stood and looked to me and then Eric with uncertainty. I could tell she wished to hug him and felt nervous as to my reaction. And for my part I was unsure of how to show her that it was alright. He laughed softly and stood towering over her petite frame and gripped her in a tight gentle hug. "Oh how I love thee nanny," he whispered against the ruff of her cloth bound hair.

She chuckled and seemed to light up at his touch "And how I love thee," the exchanged words had the air of routine to them as if they'd been routinely said for ages.

She gathered up her shawl and folded it as if it were the very shroud that Jesus had been laid in and bustled out with a lingering gaze at Eric. "Thank you Amelia," I called after her. She merely smiled absently to me and departed.

My husband sat back down and glanced up at me "Now you know that I would never have hurt Minnie in truth," he murmured.

I stared at him thoughtfully and tipped my head to the side "I suppose that must seem quite true," I replied.

A bit of sunlight wandered in like a playful child and frolicked on his face and it was extraordinary how beautiful he was to me. "Your hair is like fire and gold lying together," he said quietly.

He stood and undid my braid and I heard a gasp from him and felt touched with his passion. I turned back and saw his eyes glimmering "You will be so beautiful when you are old," he said with a touch of wonder.

I found that an exceedingly odd thing to say "Why?"

Eric shrugged and made some milk from the dew touched pitcher before us "Because your face is artful, have you never noticed that very old paintings crack with time and it only adds to their beauty?"

I shook my head "I've never paid any attention to art, you should know that."

He seemed vaguely amused and annoyed "I wish sometimes that you shared my passion for it but then again the fact that you don't makes you even more my soul mate," after he shared that last bit he looked incredibly vulnerable.

"That is what you believe us to be?"

He bowed his head and seemed pained "Yes," he whispered.

I stood and knelt before him and clutched his knees "I believe that too my lord."

I will never forget even now that I am old and weary how endearing that moment was. That instant in time which we both came to admit what the other meant to each.

We left the kitchen and retired to the library. Eric strolled over to the shelves and picked up the book I'd read that long ago night when I'd spied him sitting with Amelia.

"What did you think of this?"

I cupped my cheek and rested my elbow on the rest "I was quite in love with it, but then I adore all that man has written."

He smiled so enchantingly then it made my breath catch "You are so interesting, thank the universe. You know I used to have a daily nightmare that I would be married to a bore."

I laughed and again he seemed as if I'd presented him with a gift. "I'll be right back," he said abruptly. The time that he was gone seemed endless and I knew that the rest of my life I would dote on each moment with him and guard each memory as if I were a miser with my gold.

He returned forthwith with a golden velvet box the size of my palm. "When we were married I never gave you a ring, because I was waiting for this one to be completed."

I actually hadn't wondered about that for some reason but I found I was now intrigued. When the lid was raised I saw an exquisite ring: It was delicately crafted; with platinum and gold twisted together with a crescent moon in the center made of a milky gemstone and surrounded by tiny diamonds that were shaped to resemble stars. "My lord, it is wonderful," I breathed out quite truthfully.

When I looked up he took the ring from me and slipped it on my wedding finger with such gentleness and then got down on one knee "I will marry you again each year on my birthday as a present to myself," he said softly.

I joined him on the floor and kissed him with all the passion that my cold nature would allow. We fell back into each others arms and I was content to be in that embrace until the end of time.


	38. The Ugly Truth

A week passed and it became a habit of mine to pass behind Amelia's house on my horse. I would stop and peer into her window and just watch her from the thick shadows of the encroaching willow. She was often reading or darning socks. I was to find out years later that they were Emmire's socks that she toiled on. I was dying to come into her home and sit with her. For two reasons; one so that through her I could somehow relinquish my Minnie and secondly so that I could learn more about my husband.

It was a Thursday when I gathered my courage and tied Winter to a post outside her door and knocked with a feverish fear of her rejection. When she answered it she glanced quickly back and I heard a voice behind her. "Amelia who is it?" I recognized the voice at once as that of Eric's grandfather. Except his speech was altered slightly when he addressed her, there was a queer gentleness to it but at my arrival a touch of possessive annoyance entered it.

I brushed past Amelia who looked as if she would send me from her. Courtland's eyes widened and then narrowed. I was struck by all the features that he and Cole and my husband shared. That he had been a devastatingly handsome man when younger was clear, even now he was nearly glorious to look upon. I stopped and curtsied as if I were at court.

He laughed miserly as if he had only a small supply and was loathe to expend it on me. He sighed and gestured to a third chair at the small table. "This is unexpected I was not aware that you knew Amelia," he began cordially.

Amelia bustled to the kitchen and brought back an antique silver tea service and began pouring it's contents into three cups. It was I discovered after a sip; oolong which I am rather fond of. "This was my mother's favorite tea," I said quietly blowing the heat from the beverage.

Courtland stared at me thoughtfully "And she is dead," he stated flatly.

At my nod he folded his hands to the table and I got the sense that he was about to reveal something of import that might rise my ire. "You see I know many things about you Sookie."

I arched a brow "Why is that and such as?"

He smirked with his luscious mouth and reached into an inner pocket and withdrew a pipe and forthwith packed it with tobacco and lit it with practiced elegance. "Well when one of my grandson's is about to be married I have extensive background checks done. As to your other query, I know that you have a passion for riding and for your deceased Minnie. I know that you have no creative interests," he paused and smiled at me with genuine warmth. "To me this is a recommendation of your person, Eric is far too creative for my tastes."

I frowned and would have hotly defended my love but he raised his hand to stop me "You have quite a passion for him don't you?" he already knew the answer he only asked it to toy with me.

When I said nothing he puffed his pipe and I waved a hand to stop his expelling from suffocating me. He looked to Amelia quite suddenly "And what is your impression of his bride?"

She seemed exceedingly flustered by the question but due to some loyalty and habit of obedience to him she answered. "She is cold and controlling of those around her and completely devoted to Eric," she gave her impression of my character softly with little emotion until she came to my husband's name.

Court thought about that and turned his eyes to me "You see this is yet another reason I hold Amelia in such esteem, she is a very astute judge of character, even if she does dote on my strange grandson beyond reason."

"All these things are true of you, I find myself oddly intrigued by you as does Cole," this had the tone of a confession as if he were greedy with his private thoughts.

I said nothing to this and took a sip of tea, internally I was taking a new measure of the man across from me. "I must confess I had dearly hoped that you would begin an affair with him."

I choked on my tea for a moment before I composed myself "But why?" it was torn from my lips without thought.

Courtland smiled lazily and put down his pipe into an ashtray that Amelia had supplied. "Because I don't think Eric is deserving of your fidelity when he gives you none in return. You should have married Cole, he is the far worthier specimen."

I bristled and again he raised his hand in a patronizing manner that made my jaws clench painfully. "I agree but that is besides the point, I don't think I have it in my to be unfaithful to Eric," I gritted out.

His grandfather smirked and loosened his tie "Ordinarily I would punish anyone who interrupted my time with Amelia but I find I am enjoying this exchange," he murmured and then a look of real surprise crossed his face.

"As to your last statement; I find it beneath you, you are more than the contents of your affections and your strength lies in your coldness. Why not take lovers when he will surely do the same?"

He watched me carefully like a beautiful aged tom cat playing with a mouse. "Eric is somewhat unnatural in his tastes, he enjoys the embrace of males as much as females," he was clearly trying to disgust me but it was I who smirked now.

"Indeed I am well aware."

He nearly scowled before he realized that I would take that as a sign of victory. "Much as my son once did," he added gesturing to his now empty china for a refill. Amelia promptly obeyed and then as an afterthought peered into mine and topped it off as well. She disappeared and came back with some treats as Eric would say. I discovered when I took a bite that they were plumb fritters. Most unusual but delicious.

"It's something that runs in our family I'm afraid," he continued blandly. "Why he's been Emmire's lover for quite some time now," a look of distaste and savage enjoyment at his own daring covered his eyes.

At this I felt as if I would die and his gray eyes glimmered with triumph. "His very own brother," he said silkily. "Now do tell me what you love about this incestuous bizarre relation of mine?"

I stood and bowed stiffly to Amelia "I thank you for your hospitality," then I departed and once again heard his laughter follow me.

I fled on horseback to the house and immediately sought out Eric. He was in the hot house cradling the red flower that I had sniffed the very first day of coming here. "It's sick," he said at my arrival. Then he looked mournfully down at it and spoke to the flower "But we will make you well won't we," he said in the manner a father would address a sick offspring.

"Is it true?" I asked in a rush before my courage fled.

He looked up and then seeing my upset set the plant down "Is what true dearest?"

"Are you Emmire's lover?" I hated the tremble in my voice and upon my lips.

Eric's head tipped to the side and a look of coldness descended on his features. "What concern is it of yours and where did you hear this bit of news?"

"Courtland told me," I snapped.

He moved towards me and I recoiled "It was bad enough that Felicia was your first cousin but your brother?" the disgust in my tone made him smirk.

"It's completely untrue, I whip him and allow him to perform fellatio but that is all," he said this with utter blandness and I struck him and turned to run.

He tackled me and slapped me lightly "I will not be struck or judged by my property, wife," he hissed before crushing my lips under his. I punched his chest again and again but he still persisted in his attentions. It seemed it was forgotten that I was carrying his seed because he lifted my skirts and entered me roughly and I cried out against his palm which covered my mouth.

He thrust into me and I grew instantly moist for his member. I was despite my anger and disgust with him thrilled at the return of his savageness. In the midst of that riotous jungle of my heart's making he nearly raped me. But then it is said that you can't rape the willing is it not?"

For an endless time he thrust into me and I shuddered again and again as I climaxed. He pushed my face to the side and savaged my neck with his ripe mouth. He seemed filled with homicidal lust and the heavy perfume of the blossoms seemed to go to my head making me light in my mind. His hand over my mouth was crushing in its viciousness and it turned me on to the point of madness.

I endeavored to strike him and judge him for the next nine months if this was the result. Our tender love making of the other night had sickened me. He cupped my little bottom and lifted me onto his shaft the better to pierce me. I screamed behind his restraining flesh. His other hand gripped my neck brutally and he choked me until I saw stars and nearly passed out with the joy of it when just as I was about to lose consciousness I climaxed once more and it was beyond exquisite.

Outside the slavish sun was gloating in it's perfect unblemished sky watching us. Two slaves stood in the corner to attend him as he had commanded them to stay with some gesture that I hadn't seen. Their eyes on me as I was claimed inflamed my arousal just as it shamed me.

Their dark eyes were filled with something that I never could decipher, was it disinterest or lust? I can't be certain as their expressions were so stoic. They were two strapping bucks as my father would call them and I saw when I looked over that one was getting an erection which he rubbed casually through his breeches as my lord tore my bodice and claimed a breast into his ravenous mouth.

Eric glanced their way with a cold smile and then down at me "I want them to see all of you my love," he whispered before rending the whole of my gown from me.

I shivered with embarrassment and shame and despised him for this.

He looked at me with such tenderness then "The most beautiful thing that I own and love," he murmured.

"I adore you Sookie Northman and I will take you for hours to come so long as you promise to never bring up that certain subject again," he said all this while pounding into me with his slaves watching.

My eyes narrowed and I raised my hand to strike him and he nearly broke my wrist as he took it in a cruel hold. "No, little one," he said softly leading me over to his aroused property. He laid me between the two slaves and they watched lavasiously as he took me.

It was my punishment for confronting him about his relations with Emmire. I hated him so much in the hour that followed that it sickened me when I once again had my release. My love for him now made me ill.

**AN: I am painfully aware that with this update I will most likely lose you all as my readers, and you will go onto to despise me forever. But I must as I have always said be faithful to the story, if I should fail in that one thing then all my work is meaningless to me. I Hope that some of you may see past your own disgust and continue to read. **


	39. Wherin I Regain My Personhood

**AN: Thank you so much for the support and sophistication that most of you've shown me with my last update. I feared foolishly for your loss, I'm pleased that that wasn't so. **

I lay as if I were a broken doll but I was not. I had a living beating heart that ached with hate for him that warred with love that I now loathed. Eric gathered me up into his arms "You're dismissed, thank you," he said softy to his slaves taking me up to our chambers.

I was naked as he'd shorn my gown from me and he ordered that a bath be drawn. I was remote from myself dully watching the proceeding with what I could guess were bright feverish eyes deadened with shock and hate. He moved about our chambers like a caged panther and I shivered in fear at his coiled strength and was keenly aware that he could murder me quite easily and cover the crime with no qualms beyond his mercurial affection for me.

He turned to me with such savageness and tenderness that it stirred something in me despite my despising of him. "Wife?" the question was softly given but his face contained so many things that I was at a loss to decipher them all and the same time I partly didn't care to.

The slaves poured in like chocolate with sympathetic eyes for the most part. I stood naked before them and once more felt that my personhood had been taken from me as I watched them fill the tub rapidly with the aid of a dozen hands to the task. They scented at his command the steaming water with magnolia oil and Eric picked me up and set me gently into it.

He slowly disrobed and I screamed in rage and he smiled wickedly "It is my right to you wife, do not be coy I felt your orgasm on my cock," he tipped his head to the side "What was it? Four times?"

I scowled and he entered the tub and looked across to me as he reached to the bathing cart which held the two bars of soap of the finest quality; one unscented and one that he informed me he'd made himself with the oils of his 'children'. He seemed quite pleased with himself and it made me so ill.

He reached for me and began to wash me and I smacked his hands away "I don't want you to ever touch me again," I snarled.

His eyes went dark green in the lamp light with terror and anger and lust "Sookie?" the questioning nature in which he'd said my name tore at my soul. He reached for me and I slapped him as hard as I could.

His head rocked to the side and his elegant hand that had once made me nearly believe in God touched his injury with fury in his mien but the main emotion was despair.

"Is this coldness because of Emmire?" he'd crafted ice in his tone but it was akin to an ocean only thinly frozen over.

I shrugged and moved to get out of the tub and he stopped me with a touch to my shoulders. "You may as well have raped me in front of them," I said quietly settling back down into the now cooling water.

He tried to smirk and it died in the artistry of his features "You had to be taught a lesson, didn't you wife?"

"And I would say it was hardly rape when you were sopping for my cock," he added with a smugness that I hated with all my being.

"I want a divorce," I sighed out.

Eric screamed then but it was so deeply male and not effeminate that it surprised me. His hands went to his thick pale hair and it seemed he would rip it from his head. "Denied," he moaned out. It was I could see at my pronouncement as if someone had told him that every one of his precious orchids had perished.

He lay back against the cool of the copper behind and begin to weep. I strove to keep inside my icy tundra which is my inner home. "I will murder your father," he snapped as tears fell onto his face.

"You will have nothing and no one to go back to," he added in a vicious snarl that was full of heart break.

I stared at him as if he were an insect and I an entomologist "Go ahead, he means very little to me," I said with the full snow of my soul.

He gazed back at me "You will have no money and your place in society will be ruined though, " now he sounded confused and scared.

"My position in society? I said with a sneer. "Haven't you been paying attention to my character at all? Have I mistaken you for someone of intelligence when all along you've been a fool? That matters to me so little it is laughable, as to your other statement again it means nothing."

He looked utterly destroyed as I went on and reached for the soap and began to wash my delicate body and he groaned which was partly a growl. "I have all I need to make my way in this world; one youth and two I am one of the most beautiful women on this miserable soul sucking planet," I allowed my full arrogance and inherent self-worth to show in my voice.

He bowed his head and his tears began afresh "It's all true," he said mournfully.

"I will murder you before I allow you to leave me," but as soon as he said this he looked devastated and I knew it for the hollow threat that it was. I laughed scornfully and rose from the tub though I would have liked to wash the dirt of the hot house from my locks but I decided that I would do so far from here.

"You would sooner murder your precious tiger than me and we both know that," I said with an air of such vast cruelty that I felt nearly ashamed of myself.

I reached for a towel of soft cotton which had been plucked by his slaves and I imagine woven by their touch as well. I wrapped it around myself "I will be gone before the moon rises, _my lord_," I murmured leaving his chambers.

He screamed _"Sookie!"_

I looked back with a vicious curve of my decadent lips "You have erred so deeply I wonder to myself how you will ever recover," I said and then once more laughed.

I went to my chambers and snagged my valise from under my bed and packed after getting dressed in my breeches and shirt. I tucked my hair up into a hat as I had no intention of being molested upon the ride home to my father. I also put my pistol into a shoulder holster that my father had made for me. Eric entered and fell to his knees and crawled to my feet. "Please Sookie, I have never in my life loved as I love thee," it was a desperate plea but I was unmoved.

I glanced down at him with my belongings in hand with infinite coldness "That is your misfortune sir, frankly my dear I don't give a damn," I said then patted his head as if he were a dog.

With my head held high as it always is I swept from his life and into my future. It wasn't until I was on wide paved road that led to the sugar fields of my father's domain that I allowed a tear to escape me.

I would not be ruined by the terrible destruction of my love. I am Sookie Stackhouse and nothing and no one will ever destroy me or what I stand to become and the mark that I will thusly make upon this world.

**AN: I realized with this chapter that this story is my homage to my all time favorite love story "Gone With The Wind" though of course it is much darker and much sicker. Also I know that I stated that this story was coming to a close but that is no longer the case. There is much to be uncovered still. If you will follow me. I have no idea how I will save their love and I am kicking my muse slighty but with great affection. She is so mystifying to me at times. I can only hope that my skill set is up to this monumental task before me.  
><strong>


	40. I Find That It Is I That Is Evil

It was only the span of a week before I saw my husband once more in the company of a man I knew not. I have never seen Eric look as handsome as he did that day standing in the foyer of my home and I never before felt as unmoved by his beauty either.

The man beside him was dressed expensively and I knew instinctively that he was a man of law. He took of his hat and bowed to me stiffly. "I am Mr. Northman's attorney," he said extending his hand to me.

I ignored the gesture with a smirk and refused to look further at Eric. "What is that you've come about?"

The attorney cleared his throat with clear discomfort at my strength of tone. "I have accompanied my client to," he looked to Eric and then continued. My husband's eyes were devouring me where I stood. The naked need and savage anger in his face nearly made me weak.

"To, inform you that your desire for a divorce will not be agreed to and further it is my understanding that you carry his heir in your womb," he paused and again glanced to his client. "As such you are under law required to remain married to him."

Eric smiled then with a killing light in his eyes and I knew in that moment that neither of us would be broken by the other. I laughed "And where is it written that I must submit to being raped before slaves and stand for it?"

The lawyer moved towards me and placed a light touch to my arm "Perhaps we could talk of this further in comfort?"

I glanced down at his hand "I know you not sir and I would thank you to remove that hand from me," I said coldly. And then turned and they followed me to my father's study.

My father I had discovered on my return was gravely ill with cholera and was on his death bed above me and I felt a little sorrow at that. We sat around a large table that had been painted with a study of my childhood home replete with happy negroes working in our fields.

Eric gazed down at it with an inappropriate expression of joy for a moment before he recalled the situation. They sat across from and again the lawyer cleared his throat "Forgive me, Mrs. Northman, I was remiss in my courtesies and didn't introduce myself. My name is Jonathan Hargate," he murmured.

I shrugged with a bored expression. "As to your claim of being molested, unfortunately your husband was well within his rights, whatever his manner of engaging in said rights."

A slave swept into the room and cried out "It's Master Edmund, Mistress Sookie!" I stood and nearly ran to my father's room and I knew by the sound of his tread that my ex love followed closely behind.

When I got to my father's side he was gasping for air and I snapped to a slave to get him water. I sat beside him and my hand feathered to his brow. "Why did you not tell me that you were ill at the wedding?" I asked softly.

His hand clutched his throat "Because I am a prideful fool and I was afraid to see disinterest and coldness in your eyes at the news of my impending death," each word was a struggle for him and for the first time in my entire life I loathed myself.

Eric took a chair that sat near a vanity that my mother once sat before and I heard his soft gasp. I ignored him. "Father you know that in my own way you are dear to me," I whispered.

His green eyes were dark with despair and longing for my love "Do you not realize that I have spent the whole of your life trying to win your love that you gave to Minnie so freely? All that time I knew that I meant next to nothing to you, how I wish that I could believe what you have just uttered," then tears began to fall from his eyes.

I threw my arms about his neck "Papa please believe me," I felt so broken and so filled with self-loathing. "I never knew that you felt this," I cried.

He returned my hug with such fierce love that it made me want to die. "When your mother died I had nothing left but you who looked so much like my soul mate, yet whereas she gave me her affection freely you were always so miserly with yours."

I heard Eric moan under his breath and I sighed. "Father do we have any money for which I can make my way after you have gone?" The instant the words left me I knew in my heart that I was truly evil, perhaps more so than mine husband.

I hadn't told my father yet that I was leaving Eric. "But what of your husband? Will he not care for you?" I felt again as if I were the most terrible daughter and human being on the earth.

"I claimed her in front of my slaves as if she were a common whore and now she loves me not," Eric said softly and when I looked to him I saw he was weeping silently.

My father sat up and his face became wreathed with fury "How dare you," he snarled weakly before struggling for breath.

"I will promise you this," my husband began. "I will spend the rest of my life winning back her affection and love and I will not allow her to leave me."

Edmund Stackhouse stared at him with great weariness "I want that in writing," he demanded and I felt so betrayed by my sire that I nearly forgot that he was dying.

"Father!" I exclaimed.

He glanced to me with shadowed eyes "Sookie you must have a husband and you've already married him, in the eyes of the law you belong to him," he seemed mournful of that fact but also I knew that to him it was simple logic.

I bowed my head in helpless rage "But I hate him," I said with terrible clear anguish.

My father's hand went to mine and he clutched it as if he were an old man and I felt a deep piercing sorrow in my breast. "You will grow again to love him as you once did," he said with the lingering bit of vigourosity that I remembered.

I shook my head "No I fear I won't, he tried to break me and I won't stand for it."

My father's regard was touched with an odd jealousy whose reason for being in his face was explained when he spoke "Only to him did you ever give any deep love with the exception of that despicable Minnie, I saw it on the day of your marriage and that is why I left immediately after the ceremony," it was a time of confessions and I realized that somewhere beside my father's love for me was also a layer of hatred for me and resentment.

"Oh don't misunderstand me, I didn't desire for the same kind of love you gave him but I wanted that level of caring given to me, and I knew that day that I would never ever get it," there was a vast bitterness to his voice.

"You know I have a bastard daughter that I own who dotes on me and hangs on my every word," he glanced up at my shocked expression with a cold rueful smile "And though I love her, it has never moved me the way a causal smile that you would toss me from time to time did."

He looked to my husband "You will care for her?"

At his nod my father inclined his head and lay back with a death rattle. A great wind blew against the beveled glass of his bedroom window and rattled it as if to commiserate with his breathing.

I laid down next to him and kissed his cheek "I am so very sorry Papa," I said softly with great despair.

Eric moved to stand beside the bed and I cut him a glare "Get the fuck out, I never want to see you again," I snarled.

He flinched and sank to his knees beside my father and I "I'm sorry but I can not and will not live without you, I will use the full force of my authority as your husband to ensure that I am given the opportunity to win back your heart," his voice was so warm with wretched feeling and icy determination.

I stared at him "My father lies on his deathbed you fool," I said coldly "And you talk of redemption after you took my affections and tried to through them destroy me by degrading me in front of slaves?"

Eric bowed his head and I despised the bright beauty of the gesture "I will never let you go, I will hunt you to the ends of the earth, I will murder any lover you take. I will destroy all obstacles in my way. I will be completely and utterly devoted to winning you back for the rest of my life," he vowed all of this with his bright gorgeously hued eyes upon me.

While I had been busy listening to this vow my father perished in my arms with one last grievous breath. And I knew that never would I forget his words before he passed from this savage world. And how I had failed on the most basic level to be a loving daughter because my soul is so filled with coldness and arrogance.

"I hate myself," I whispered pressing my brow to his dead one.

"Please don't Sookie," he said softly touching the crown of my head.

I was all alone married to someone I despised and adored and desired and loathed and I was a horrible wretched person who was incapable of any real love with the exception of Eric and Minnie.

His lips touched my nape and I shivered. "Mine," he said against my tender skin.


	41. The Death Room And The Ecstacy

Eric lunged for me when I stepped away from my father. I shrank away from him and he grasped my little body in his huge powerful arms and crushed me to him "If I could kill him and have him die at my hands I would," he snarled and the pure rage in his voice was oddly endearing and I knew that he was wrathful because what my father had basically done as his last act on earth was to let me know that I had failed him utterly.

I gazed up at him "I despise you, you know," but it wasn't wholly the truth. The reality was far more complex. I was enraged at his presence as if I were a man cast adrift in a cold sea with only a thorn bush to hold me aloft.

He looked amused and then wounded "I hate you too but you are the air I breath, I would kill every one of my_ children_ to win back your love," it was curt reply and I could see a deep terror in his eyes that I would demand that of him.

I almost reassured him that even I the ice queen would never be so cruel but my great anger at him stopped me. "Let me go," I snapped to cover the fact that his body so near to mine was making me aroused. How I hated my tactile awareness in that moment.

He smirked and shook his head "Never," he vowed before crushing his lips to mine. I bit his lip and he reared back and nodded.

"Fine but I will not be gainsaid from my rights forever," he murmured. He released me and looked with infinite hatred at my dead sire.

"How cruel of him to do that with his last breath," he whispered. He gazed down at me with such sorrow.

I shrugged and put on an air nonchalance when in truth I wanted to stab myself in the heart. He looked away from the corpse to me "And how cruel and lovely that you withheld your love for him no matter how he doted on you."

His eyes made a decision for his mouth which curved into a ghostly smile "I think that is the thing I first fell in love with about you was that you loved only Minnie and no one else. It was to become my goal in life to possess your cold heart," at that last part he fell back against the wall and a portrait of my mother clattered to the floor with his movement. He seemed to forget what he'd felt at his statement for he turned with an odd bit of courtesy to hang it back up. When he saw the portrait he went the color of ivory and he gasped. He knelt beside it and his hand trailed to her painted visage with such longing and tenderness that it made me jealous. "She is you with warmth and love," he whispered.

I felt as if he'd given me a mortal blow with his words. "Leave me and never return your face makes me sick!"

He recoiled for a second before his natural confidence and coldness came to his defense. "What I just said was cruel but I meant it only as something that I would have kept inside me but it came out, but now that it has tell me what it made you feel," it was a command made with genuine interest.

I turned from him and felt a vicious grip about my waist and as always his fingers overlapped and the instant they touched one another he growled. "God your waist makes me rock hard," he groaned out.

"Tell me wife or I will fuck you till you orgasm again and again beside your dead father," it was a silky entry and it aroused me to no end. When I spent a second to think on it I realized that it was because I was so very angry with my father for making me loathe myself.

"Please," I said softly and turned in his embrace. The look of surprise on his face was wonderful.

His gorgeous eyes narrowed and his lush mouth that haunts me every waking hour and in dreams curved into a soft smile of seduction. "You would have me take you right now wouldn't you?"

I nodded and he tore my gown of crimson velvet from me and took me on the floor beside my dead father. He flipped me over and his breath was a hiss in my ear "I want to take you as I take men," he said with a lick upon my neck.

"No," I moaned out. But my husband was beyond reason with the future that hadn't happened yet.

He dragged my pantaloons down my body and I heard his spittle come from his mouth and he coated his member and entered me. It was terribly painful and I screamed and he quickly covered my mouth.

The pain was exquisite and I realized for the first time that I was a masochist and that in pain I found pleasure. He thrust inside me and again a cry was wrenched from me. A slave had hurried up at my scream and opened the door without thought. Eric turned back and went still inside me "I own you now and if you should fail to leave this instant I will rip you apart," he snarled. I heard a feminine scream and the clutter of the door closing once more.

Then he commenced claiming me in that hot room that reeked of sickness and death. I was thrilled that I was reclaiming my-self-love through this abuse of my father. This moment was to haunt me until the moment that I entered my afterlife in the stars.  
>That I should have been so evil so soon after my dear father's death was so decadent and despicable that I would sometimes masturbate to the memory and then weep for nearly an hour. The pain turned to deep exquisite piercing pleasure that meant more to me than any smile or hug I'd ever received from my father who lay stiff and cold beside us.<p>

Eric wrapped my neck in a brutal hold and made me rise and then reentered me and pressed me against the wall closer to his body. "Mine," he snarled to the corpse. "She loves me more than she ever loved you, you despicable fuck," he added as he delved deeper into that sinful entry which must not be named.

For how long I was treated as if I were a queer man I don't know but at some point my husband's hand drifted to my sex and he began to massage it slowly and then fastly. I moaned against his palm that was held tightly over my beautiful mouth as I shuddered again and again with my secret entrance clutching around his stiffness.

He spent himself inside me and rolled off me and then wandered over to my father. "I hope you enjoyed that wraith," he said with such vindictive joy that it thrilled me just as it made me hate myself anew.

He buttoned his pants and gathered me from the wall where I stood in a daze. "I fear that I have made you naked once more," he murmured.

He looked about the room and saw a dress of my mother's that hung upon a mannequin that my father had spent thousands of dollars to have crafted. It was made of pure gold and he'd had it wrought to hold the last dress she'd worn before dying.

He dressed me in it with such tenderness and awe that I nearly wept with my hatred and love for him. "How wonderful, it was hers was it not?" he pointed to the portrait that still lay on the floor.

I nodded and my hands went to the antiquated silk of gold and drifted up to my tiny breasts "Yes, she wanted to be resplendent for him when she was dying."

Eric looked hungry then and he would have taken me again but I held up my little hand to him "No, not just yet, I must attend to his disposal," I said in my characteristic cold manner.

He laughed with such joy then "How like a man you are, I think that is why I'm completely infatuated with you."

I joined him briefly in his merriment and we left the room then with nary a glance at the one who'd had part of bringing me into this world.

I knew that it was to my husband that I owed the fact that I no longer hated myself and wished for death. But later, only hours later I was to pay dearly for it and he couldn't save me then.

**A/N: I know what you're thinking I really do: "How could this story get any sicker, any more wrong?" Then I do it again. Oh and btw I heart all of you for helping me to reach that coveted number of a thousand reviews. Which I told my friend Kaysays a year ago would never happen as my stories are too dark to ever be reviewed that heavily, how happy I am to be wrong. **


	42. Sookie's Love and Hate

We had my father buried with as little pomp as could be managed but his slaves demanded great respect be shown to him and as I have always been progressive in my treatment of them this I allowed. They sang hymns that clear night and even built a roaring bon fire near his grave. Their voices were soft as they shared memories of him.

A girl of surpassing beauty had attended the wake. She'd been dressed in a gown of very expensively wrought velvet of black that had sewn in diamonds in its depths. She had my father's eyes precisely and when I approached she stared at me with infinite hatred. I stopped before her we gazed into each others faces.

"Hello sister," she said and in just a short utterance I knew that she'd had the same tutor as I.

I bowed my head for a second "You loved him," it was not a question nor did I have any great interest in her response. Blood in common with others had never meant a single thing to me. Her head was held was held proudly when I lifted my eyes to it. "Yes, as you could never be moved to do. He tried to hide his devotion to you when I was young but it was apparent. I once saw you and him from a distance; you were standing at the graveside of your mother and he was weeping and reaching for you and you glanced up at him and smiled and then stepped from beyond his reach," the memory seemed to have blood and bone even now all these years later.

I remembered that moment with clarity how the starlight from above mimicked the diamonds in her bodice and the hardness in her eyes. I knew her to be a creature of great emotion and I viewed this with scorn and an odd species of jealousy. That she should have from the moment of her birth loved our father with abandon whereas he'd never really mattered to me was interesting and boring all at once.

"Come walk briefly with me," I murmured putting only a bit of my ownership of her in the statement.

She sighed and looked much aggrieved. We came into the family burial grounds where the crypts shone in the moonlight with melancholy and enduring beauty. I have always be in love with cemeteries since I can remember. I remember wandering around this graveyard after my mother's funeral and looking up at a certain statue of an angel with great admiration of its beauty and how the rain had fallen upon it's visage with tenderness. It was in that moment that I knew I would wait for rain and clouds for the rest of my life. There is something magical about it that moves me so clearly. Why now here I sit in a plush chair and stare out a sunny day with my eyes that are still fine in their abilities and qualities and a deep sigh escapes me.

I can only pray that on the day of my death it is gloomy outside and that when they lower me into the greedy uncaring earth that it will pour with passion onto my casket.

But back to this moment that matters only a small amount but which I know that my son will love to read about. We came to a bench that was made to appear as if it were an angel stretched upon its stomach reading a tome with tears in his eyes and we sat. "It matters not to me your feelings for me and from this day forward you are a free woman," I told her with a dead voice.

She smirked and her hand caressed the stone below us "I have been free for months now and only stayed because I love him," that her use of that word should be present tense made me feel odd.

"I will give you a great deal of whatever is mine for you to go forward in this life and make a success of yourself in this world," I informed her. I did this not for her but for myself and my father.

She laughed a bright tinkling that I can still hear in my dreams "Your father left me all his worldly money," she paused and a look of deep sorrow crossed her eyes before pride made it vanish. "I knew when he did so it was his way of apologizing for never loving me as much as you," her face was clear as if with an effort and I felt something like a bored respect for it.

"There was a night last year when he told me what I've always known since he first saw me totter on chubby legs to him that occurred. He came into my mother's and I's house and sat down and dismissed my mother from our company and wept in my arms. It seems that you had given him no sign of love when he'd gifted you with a new wardrobe and jewels and a tender hug," she fell silent and the aggression of murder was everywhere on her form; it sat on her shoulders and lived in the grooves of green that spotted her face.

I said nothing for a long time and watched the starlight fall onto her dark hair. "You have his eyes, does that please you?" my question was strange to me as I didn't care about her reply and wondered why I asked it.

She bowed her head for an instant "Yes, whenever I look into a mirror and see them I feel happy. He was a wonderful man you know."

I nodded "I am aware of his worth, it just never mattered to me all that much," my tone is utterly devoid of any emotion.

She struck me then and my head canted to the side and I stared at her and rose with all dignity to look down at her "I apologize if my honesty has wounded you, I wish you well…" I trailed off with a query unasked in my voice.

"My name is Sookie," she supplied with an expression of bright loathing and smugness.

Eric came into the scene quite suddenly as if he were a woodland God. He appeared from behind a mausoleum that housed the bones of my great grandfather and he stalked towards us with infinite grace. I looked up and laughed with real mirth "You are so evil and disrespectful of my privacy, my lord," I murmured. Had this moment meant more to me I might have been furious but it didn't so I wasn't.

He joined me in my laughter and then looked at my bastard sister with interest. "Hmm, you are a colored version of my wife," there was no lust in his voice and when he turned his head to regard me I knew that he was trying suppress his native exuberance for beauty.

My kin was looking up at Eric with such longing that I wanted to slit her throat "You are the most beautiful man I've ever seen," her tone held such awe that it sickened me.

Eric gave her a lingering glance that contained a myriad of things; scorn, boredom, flatteredness, and lastly pity. "That is quite common of you to note that," he said gently.

He crouched before her and his hand went to her face and I scowled "How like her you are but you are filled with passion," what was it his words were filled with? Was it sorrow or joy that she had this and I did not?

She dipped her small cheek to his touch and I couldn't stand it "Get away from her my lord or no amount of groveling on your part will ever atone you in my eyes," it was softly said but he rose at once and seemed ashamed.

Sookie rose from her bench and gave me a look of longing jealousy "He's terribly interesting isn't he?"

I smiled coldly and wrapped my little arm about his powerful waist with deep possessiveness "You could spend the rest of your life studying him and never understand him fully."

Tears gathered in her eyes and she turned away "Farewell Sister," I called. She pivoted and the moonlight cast her as a statue caught in time. "_He_ was always yours and if I had a gun I would take you from this world," that was the last time I saw my sister until I was in Paris a few years later. But that is another tale that I may never tell.

**AN: Btw she hasn't yet paid the price yet, but she most likely will the next chapter. **


	43. Shadow Ergo Elliot

After that rather unmoving burial Eric and I took a walk through the gloaming of the cemetery. "You like it here don't you?" he said gesturing to the gravestones.

I saw no reason to deny him this bit of me and I nodded "Yes, I adore graveyards."

He gave me a stunning smile filled with affection " I do too even though I'm scared to die when I'm not busy being cruel or fucking," that he should share so much of himself was nearly astonishing.

I stopped my stride and turned fully to him "I enjoy your evil," I admitted.

He laughed then and swept me into his arms "I know," he said softly. Why he'd picked me up was beyond me but I was thrilled. We entered a tomb of my grandmothers who had died the day I came into the world. Inside was lustrous with marble and a golden dog. I have been told that she was a great animal lover and that during the span of her life she owned hundreds of them. I had found that bit of intel both disgusting and boring. I don't like dogs, they seem pathetic with their passion for human's affections.

But I did once have a cat before he was murdered by the neighbor boy who'd been in love with me for years. I'd told him that I could never conceive of being his wife because he wasn't nearly good looking enough and he'd gutted Shadow and left her body in my room.

Eric set me down and went just as I knew he would to the statue. He knelt before it and reached into his pocket and withdrew a miniature candle and lit it with a lighter. Then he carefully set it down and his hands went lovingly to it. "I wish that I had crafted this, how glorious it is," he murmured.

It was keenly felt that I had almost entirely forgiven him by now. I hated that my heart was his alone especially now that Minnie was gone. Slowly he stood and I could tell it was with a great effort that he pulled himself from it. "What is the meaning of this," he asked pointing to it.

I sighed and a frown touched my lips "My grandmother was obsessed with dogs," a faint bit of disgust tinged my voice. And then it was my husband's turn to frown.

"I really don't enjoy the fact that you loathe animals," he sounded so sad and hurt and angry.

I smirked "Well so sorry to disappoint you but that is the way of it."

He nodded and leaned against the wall that contained her bones "What was she like?"

"I never knew her she died the day I was born." He digested that for a moment.

"And you are glad," it was flatly stated and felt myself getting defensive and felt absurdly wounded.

I turned to leave and he followed me out "I have hurt you," he said softly.

"It is our very differences that draw me to you but at times they annoy me," he added coming to join me in my angry striding.

I felt tears gather in my eyes and despised him because the opposite was true of me though I would never tell him so. I adored his oddities with the whole of my being. I sank to my knees and my shoulders shook with my tears.

He crashed down in front of me and his expression when he forced my head up was stark with self-hatred and despair. "I am so very sorry my little treasure," he moaned out.

He took me in his arms and we lay back on the soft southern grass that remains green nearly all year long. We gazed up at the stars and my eyes went dry very swiftly. I knew in that instant that he was aware of the reason behind my unexpected break down and I hated him for it.

But he said nothing and I was much grateful for that. "What I said to you was true but it doesn't begin to encapsulate the layers of passion and emotion that you make in me, "he said quietly turning on his side and cupping his face.

" I have never in my love been as obsessed with a woman nor man as I am you," his voice was fierce with his desire that I should believe him.

I said nothing to that and inside I was dancing all alone with him in a world that was filled with the dead. I have always had a fantasy that a plague would strike humanity and leave only Minnie and myself but now I realized with a jolt that Eric had been replaced in that evil vision.

His hand drifted to my cheek with love "Forgive me Sookie," it was a command and plea.

Slowly I turned my head and just looked at him "I could spend eternity in oblivion if I had you."

The openness of his expression then and the pure piercing joy was wonderful. "Truly?"

Again I was silent because I never repeat myself. He took me into the cage of his arms. "Do you at least find beauty in the stars?" I knew that he was dying to find some passion that was akin to his own.

And it was with pleasure that I replied "Indeed my lord, I spent hours as a child learning the name of every single constellation, stars are exquisite."

He crushed me to him "How lovely that you should feel so."

He kissed my cheek and I felt an unwilling smile curve my mouth. The ground was becoming annoying to me and I sat up and he joined me and we stood and walked to my now empty excepting slaves childhood home.

"Did you have a good childhood?"

I shrugged "Mostly, father supplied everything that I could desire, love and clothing and jewels and toys."

Eric laughed at the long litany and I wanted to jump into the air and snatch a star to give to him. "All of which meant absolutely nothing to you," he concluded. I inclined my head to show that this was so.

He clapped his hands and crouched down as a kitten came across our path. He picked the frightened thing up in his arms and cradled it "Can I have this?"

I smiled at him carelessly "Of course, there are a thousand running around it's lucky that you found it so young before it became feral."

The kitten was even I had to admit quite adorable; it was snow white with a long coat of soft fur and bright blue eyes. I reached for it and Eric looked as if I had made the whole of his life that much better.

I held it gingerly and then slowly my hand went to its tiny head and petted it. It began to purr deeply and I found that it thrilled me. "I had a cat once when I was younger," I told him.

He was captivated I could see "What was its name?"

I told him and he was delighted. "Well can I meet it when we get back?"

I shook my head "No its dead, a boy that was in love with me gutted her."

He stopped walking and stumbled for a second "Who is he?" I knew if I told him his name that he would find him and torture him to death.

I thought about it for a long time before shaking my head "It's not important."

"Put the kitten down for a moment," he commanded.

I did and looked up at him "If you don't give me his name I will never ever forgive you."

I batted my luxurious lashes "But you will murder him," I whispered.

He nodded with a happy expression "Indeed, now tell me now."

I bowed my head and knew when I opened my mouth that I would obey and that a man that had once loved me fiercely would soon be dead and I wondered to myself if I cared. Not much I decided. "His name is Elliot Gibbons and he lives a mile away," I pointed back the way we'd come into the woods. Then I gave him careful instructions.

He vanished as if he were a ghost before I saw his tall magnificent figure striding towards what now were his stables. I let myself into the house and made a cup of oolong tea and thought of my mother for the first time in a while.

Then I thought on nothing and watched the moonlight bathe my little feet with such utter self-love. I dearly hope that my husband enjoyed his evil venture of justice. "Shadow you will be avenged", I whispered before bringing the delicate cup to my lips.

**AN: Ok I just looked at the traffic for this story for the first time and found that I have readers all over the world. This may seem exceedingly odd but if you live in Europe or Belize or some other odd country let me know what you think because I am fascinated with what people of other countries would think of a story this twisted. Would the tolerance be high or low? Hmm. This is not meant in any way to put those I wish to hear from above my American or British readers, I just can't help myself. You all don't have to review of course, it's just a thought. **


	44. Memory, Damnation, Caleb

I did not see my lord husband until morn. The night that passed as I waited for him was strange. Firstly after my two cups of oolong where I recalled the scent of the pearls that my mother had worn about her neck; I picked up the kitten that was still nameless and retired to the library where some of my fondest memories have taken place.

The truth was all the books in that library had been purchased either for looks and to fill the room or they had been bought solely for me. My parents hadn't enjoyed reading at all. Whenever my father would have visitors he nearly always took them to the men's parlor or his study and never to the library. Not since the incident.

It had happened the year of my mother's death. A man whom my father greatly admired had come after dropping his card to let us know the previous day. My father had wanted to impress him with his wealth of books though he hadn't read a single one of them. I'd already been in the room reading a Marquis de Sade book that I'd demanded father to get for me.

The gentleman was to be the first man who made me realize that a man can be just as beautiful as a woman. He'd been exceedingly tall with thick black curls and piercing ice blue eyes and a mouth that I dreamed of for months later. My father entered with this man and they sat at the table after slaves had poured them port.

When my father had lit a cigar the look of pure disgust on the stranger's face had been interesting. Immediately my father had risen and smoked the rest of it near a newly opened window. I will never forget the complete awkwardness of that few minutes and I remember that was the first time I found something vastly amusing. But I kept my laughter inside me and it was so very thrilling.

Finally after my father had snuffed out his cigar in an ashtray far from the gentleman he'd turned to him and sighed. "These books are all mine," he murmured.

It was such an idiotic statement that I had to cover my mouth to keep from bursting out. The man across from him laughed gently with a touch of scorn "I had assumed so," he replied. His eyes took me in sitting in the corner "And what is the young miss reading?"

My father turned to see and his face became florid with shame "Oh I'm sure its something childish," he said and I actually hated him for saying that and it was because of this statement that when months later at my mother's graveside I'd refused to embrace my weeping father.

I smiled at the man across from my father "I am reading with great enthusiasm "120 days of Sodom," I told him with a devious smile at him and then my father.

I will never forget the shock and wonder on that beautiful face when I uttered that. He looked across to my father "Yours?"

My father started to nod and then sighed heavily "No it's her, she badgered me for months to get it for her."

There was a long silence then and the man picked up his glass of port with such grace that I was mesmerized "So," he began with the birthing of a smile at the corners of his mouth "All the books are _not_ yours." Then a small deeply male chuckle followed.

"I'm a writer child," he said to me. I stared at him with interest and even attempted to smile for him.

"Come to me," he commanded of me. I rose from my favorite chair near the window and walked with deliberate grace towards him. He was the first man I'd ever wanted to marry besides Eric.

"Sit down," he signed for me to sit in my father's place and my sire looked furious but rose for me to overtake his perch. This time my laughter wouldn't be denied and my father lit another cigar and went to the window to hide his frustration and embarrassment.

He stared at me with his pale eyes framed with thick black lashes "You're a cold hearted little girl aren't you?"

I smirked "Most of the time, unless the sun's out," I replied. This earned me a gorgeous laugh and I was already half in love with him.

The man looked up at my father "Leave us for a moment Edmund," this man I was to find out was far richer than any in the state and his books were famous around the world. My father blustered but I could see the defeat in his shoulders when he turned to us. "Why?"

The beautiful man's full mouth twitched "Just go and I will alert you in a moment," that this man should be ordering my father about in his own home was horribly amusing.

Edmund's face flushed again "I will not stand for this Caleb," he began.

Caleb arched a brow "Oh really even when I stood all your debts only last month?" it was silkily given but there was steel under it.

Edmund looked to me with clear shame "Sookie will you be alright while I am away?"

I nodded "Yes Father."

After the door closed I let my full amusement come out and nearly doubled over with it. The man watched me intently "How old are you Sookie?"

"Ten, Caleb," and I hated that I wasn't a woman grown so that I could marry him.

He scowled thoughtfully and raised his glass to his mouth. "Of course I should nearly fall in love with a girl too young to marry," he said quietly.

I gazed across to him "That is incredibly frank of you sir, how interesting," I kept my tone cold though his statement had warmed me terribly.

"Your father is a fool," he said blandly. "But then I'm sure you are quite aware of that," he added with a ghostly smile.

I tapped my little hands to the tabletop and laughed "Indeed, I have known since I was two."

I could see that Caleb wanted to touch me but felt disgusted with himself for it. "I will come for you in a few years and I will marry you," it was said with great determination and self-loathing lust.

I dimpled at him "I can't wait sir." He sighed like the moaning of the wind "How does fifteen sound to you?"

"That sounds like a grand age to be wed."

He pushed his half full glass across to my hand and I drained it. "I am only twenty so you won't be marrying an old fool or anything," he assured me.

He stood and crossed to me and my breath caught in my throat as he bent down and kissed my mouth. His kiss was chaste but I felt that he didn't desire it to be. Finally he stood and gazed down at me "You will be the most beautiful woman in the world in just a few years and you will be mine," then he smiled and left.

That memory made me wet because it was after that encounter that very night that I first masturbated. I thought of something then and flushed it was something that he'd added just before the door closed behind him "I will come for you on November second in your fifteenth year."

With a jolt I realized that tomorrow was November second. I wondered how I felt about that. I had never ever forgotten Caleb and his vow and had dreamed of his face for years on end but now I was married to Eric.

I stroked the kitten in my arms and its purring was so soothing. I fell asleep there and went into the darkest nightmare that I'd ever had.

I knew at once that I was in hell. An incredibly gorgeous man sat on a throne crafted of a thousand melted swords interwoven with skulls and blood dripped from it. He was dressed in papal vestments and smiled at me with genuine warmth. "Come to me Sookie," he commanded.

I did slowly and all around me I saw people hanging in chains with flames immolating their spectral flesh which would instantly heal and then curl again. The smell of burning flesh was everywhere along with the smell of the Eucharist incense. "Take off your clothes," the man ordered.

I shook my head "I can't I'm married," I protested because even in dreams I'm obsessed with belonging solely to my lord husband.

His graceful hands went through his black hair and I saw little horns of pure ivory coming from his head. "I care not for your marital status," he began. "I have watched you for years and it wasn't until the other day that I knew for certain that you be mine in truth."

"I will of course make you as you are now when you arrive, but for right now I am going to fuck you just as your wonderful husband did when you were beside your dead father," he fell quiet for a second. "That was the most evil sensual thing I've ever witnessed and that's saying something."

He moved like a shade till he was before me and tore my gown from me. He brought me next to a man whose screams were husky with fatigue and anguish. Then he took me in that sinful hole and I screamed with terror and lust.

His hand wrapped around my hair and he yanked back my head "Yes scream little one," he whispered in my ear.

"Sookie why couldn't you love me?" my father's voice came from a sudden hole in the ceiling and when I looked up I saw him inside a cloud of gold with his face rotting and new all at once.

"You defiled me when you allowed yourself to be disgraced in my death room and your poor mother's ghost saw everything and she now despises you," there was an air of vicious triumph to the statement.

I moaned when the devil began feathering his hand across my pussy. He made me come again and again while all around us people languished burning and healing. A twisted dwarf wandered in with the head of a dog and began massaging my bottom until Satan backhanded him.

When I awoke I was deeply wet and terrified. I was certain that the dream was real and that it meant that I was truly damned and that I would go directly to hell. For the first time out of necessity I believed in God. I went to my childhood bedroom and had the slaves drawn me a bath and bathed while I wept.

Before the dream I had believed utterly that there was no system of justice in this world. No scales where sins would be measured and now I knew for certain that this wasn't so. I was a damned creature and my only comfort is that Eric would most likely go there too.

The smell of burning flesh still lingered in my nose and when I looked down at my wrists I saw faint yellowing bruises where the cuffs had chained me while I was taken by Satan.

**AN: I fucking hate this chapter but its too late to take it down since nearly a thousand people have read it. The only consolation I can give myself is that every chapter can't be good. But whatever, the devil thing is so fucking stupid. It's just been an off day for me. Sorry about that. **


	45. Permission Granted

I awoke to a dark room that was childishly illuminated with the coming dawn and knew at once that I wasn't alone. A lamp that I had not lit was burning on the table and he sat haloed in it like an angel of complete sin. I saw that he was reading "120 days of Sodom"

"You're awake," he said softly. I sat up conscious of my sheer nightgown with it's dainty neckline that I'd worn for my husband.

"Come to me," he commanded and with those words I became what I once was; a child infatuated with him. I rose and made no attempt at a modesty I did not possess.

His eyes ate me up taking in my long braid and delicate body revealed in flashes of decaying moonlight and lamp light. "Sit down," the sheer ownership and domineering nature of his voice angered me and stirred something else in me. He tossed the book to the side with a tiny tender glance at it.

I sat and stared at the window. "Why did you only answer one letter when I sent so many?"

I made no reply.

"Look at me," it was another order.

I did and his pale eyes burned with ice as he took in my hand and the ring that graced it. "I knew that Northman had married the most delicate girl in the south and I thought on you."

I was shocked and for once the expression must have shown "You know Eric?"

Caleb frowned "He is my cousin on both sides of my blood."

I sighed deeply and heavily "Well you've come too late I'm afraid," he moved so swiftly that I was startled; the only man I've ever known who could move so swiftly was my lord.

He was before and looking down at me with an air of dangerous brooding. "I will not be persuaded to leave until I have what I have thought on endlessly."

I gazed up at him unwillingly moved by his beauty which was a negative of Eric's. "You must sir, I will not lie with another when even now my husband is due to return any moment."

He seemed oddly relieved at my reply "So that is the only thing stopping you?"

I began to tremble as he crouched before me and his hands cupped my face tenderly with reigned strength. "Surely you will have a torrid long affair with me," there was a false certainty in his voice. His dark head dashed to mine and our lips touched and I moaned as I felt his tongue feather my lips. I pulled back as shame washed over me.

"Please leave at once," I said softly. Because in that instant I felt a return of my attraction to him which years ago had been so inappropriate and now seemed so natural.

To my son Cole: There is something alluring about being reminded of your first love, the one who first stirred you to desire. That was the reason for my hesitation.

I tried to free myself from his grasp on my shoulders "I will not!"

His blue eyes narrowed with fury and longing as he ripped me from my seat and threw me to my bed where I had first masturbated to his image in my mind's eye. "I will not be denied," he snarled taking off his shirt and the beauty and strength of him was unmistakable.

"But you will," a lazy voice murmured. I looked to the now open door and there stood my lord covered in blood wearing a blazing smile filled with murder.

Caleb turned and stared at Eric with an oddly calm expression "You have changed little," he said moving to pick up his discarded shirt.

Eric smirked and came fully into the room "You would have taken by force what was not freely given?"

My dark first love scowled and sat down at my reading table and gestured for my present love to sit across from him. To my surprise he did and then he turned his head back "Join us wife."

I sat next to my lord and that moment was filled with so many things at once; the combined beauty of the three of us and the longing we shared and the shade of the child I once was.

"I have been obsessed with Sookie since I met her five years ago," his voice was soft with pain and love.

Something flickered in my husband's profile "So she was the one you spoke of that night," a look of disgust was in his face. "She was a child and yet you still fell in love with her?" his lip curled with disdain.

Caleb frowned "Not in a sexual way cousin, I knew what she would become is all and I knew that she was my intellectual equal."

Eric steepled his hands under his chin and regarded my first love thoughtfully" I suppose I could understand that," he murmured.

He turned to me "Is this whom you would chose to be unfaithful with?" his tone was steeped in a casualness that didn't show in his eyes which were awash in agony.

I smirked "And what of you? Will you remain untouched by hands other than mine?"

His expression was thunderstruck before he schooled it and his breath came in a hiss and his soft mouth curled into a snarl before he looked to Caleb. "Do you really wish to act as if you were your brother?"

I was confused for a moment before understanding flashed "Cole is your brother?" both men nodded in the same instant.

What was it about their family's beauty that I found so very attractive? "Is there not an ugly one among you?" I asked softly.

They both wore arrogant smug expressions and Eric laughed "No not really, there was a slightly unattractive cousin on mother's side but he died," he supplied the information with a smile to his cousin.

"It seems we have come to an impasse," Caleb said touching the hard wood of the table as if it were me.

Amusement danced in my lord's face "Have you lost your faculties? In what way have we reached an impasse? She is my wife and belongs to me completely," his tone was mild and filled with love for Caleb and me.

"Why did you not come to the wedding when Cole did?"

Caleb shrugged elegantly "I was disinterested, I find weddings dull affairs."

Eric nodded and stood "Come along Caleb and we will break our fast with some bacon."

His double cousin laughed "I'm surprised you haven't grown fat with your obsession with that."

He joined us in standing and stared absently and hungrily at me "I wrote Sookie every week for the last five years."

My lord seemed wounded for him and furious at the same time and then he sighed and a soft moan escaped him. "I'm truly sorry," he whispered.

Caleb inclined his head and moved towards the door "Will you not share what I claimed first?" His back was to us as if he couldn't bear the moment.

"No," my husband replied wrapping his hand around my braid and pulling me close. Caleb turned back "Why do you always get the best?"

The two gorgeous men eyed one another and Eric looked haunted by something that wasn't clear until later that morning. "I don't know, perhaps it is my oddities," he murmured.

We all went downstairs and the breakfast that passed was strange. That these two loved each other was clear to me as they conversed. "You have been abroad I hear," Eric said after chewing a bit of bacon. Instead of answering directly Caleb pointed his fork to Eric "Whose blood is that?"

Eric got a devilish look of remembered pleasure "Someone who killed Sookie's cat."

Caleb nodded and took a bite of a hardboiled egg and patted his mouth just as Eric always did. I would have done the same," he said and then added. "I returned only two weeks before the wedding," a look of dark bitterness created his face anew.

He bowed his sooty head and his hands went to his hair and tufted it, it was something I'd seen Eric do numerous times. "She was mine," he said softly.

"_Was_ is the correct word to use," Eric said without a trace of glee. "Would you really have raped her?" there was genuine interest and disbelief in his tone.

Caleb scowled "It would have been more along the lines of forced seduction."

The silence fell like an old lady into death and my husband brought another slice to his lips and chewed mechanically as was his wont. "Well since we share blood of course you are beautiful and I am unfaithful," he paused and looked to me with concern. "However I feel confident that you could not have swayed her to be willing."

His black haired cousin shoved his plate away with fury "Out of all the girls in Louisiana why did you have to _marry this one_?" his eyes cut to me with such pain and anger.

Eric withdrew a golden coin from his pocket and made it dance across his smooth knuckles and his expression was layered. "I knew the instant that I heard of her that she was meant for me," he said softly slowly lifting his head to him.

Caleb leaned against the wall and loosed his cravat "You know that I have never once impinged on what is yours—never once taken a crumb from your table but I must ask now," his strong tenor was nearly touched with naked pleading.

I looked to my husband who was oddly not gazing at him but me. "Do you love him, did you ever?"

It was the sort of moment that I might have dreamed of when I was riding away from him the night of his ravishment before his slaves but I found now that it tasted of ash in my mouth. "I thought I did," my admittance was painful for me because my love looked as if a sword had been thrust into his heart.

"And now?" his expression was dead but his eyes burned with dread.

I looked at Caleb with a thoughtful wondering gaze "I would take him as a lover maybe but my heart would be yours," it was a compromise and a perhaps a lie at the same time. It was my small way of avenging that defilement of me.

Now it was his cousin's turn to seem wounded but a hopeful lust now lived in his beautiful face.

Eric bowed his bright head and moaned "Permission granted," then he began to weep and his tears fell onto his cold bacon and into my inflamed heart of ice. I knew that he was telling me that he would not faithful and that he loved me enough to do this in fairness. I had won a victory, but at what cost?

**AN: Oh how I slaved over this chapter, this is the fourth version. I have no idea if Eric will ever be capable of faithfulness but I feel that this is very true of how he is and true of the times. I just received a wounding review in regards to this fact which has led me to write this extra bit. I don't know...I feel lost now, perhaps I should have ended this story long ago.  
><strong>


	46. An Unholy Trinity

Caleb moved from the wall not towards me but to Eric. He sat next to him and scooted his chair very close to him and his brow fell to touch his shoulder "You love her as much as I," he whispered.

A growling moan escaped my lord and he looked over "You don't even know her," he snarled but then he did something so tender and odd; he leaned over and kissed his cousin's cheek. Caleb looked immensely touched "If it's not me it will be someone else who only views her as a quick receptacle of their lust," he said softly and urgently.

I stood and was trembling so hard that I sank to my knees near them. Both glanced to me with different emotions on their faces; my husband's was anguished and possessive and to Caleb had been given a desperate huger and shame. And I knew that the last was because he hated himself for hurting his cousin.

"Do you not realize that if she were mine that I would be faithful?" Eric looked terribly destroyed by that statement.

"You lie," he protested but it sounded weak even to him I could see. His elegant hands that all the men of his family seemed to possess went to his hair and tufted it and my heart felt so sick in my chest.

"Sookie come to me," Eric said with complete domination and authority and again I thought of the similarities between both he and Caleb but also Cole. I sat across from them "Are you three as you are because of Courtland?"

They glanced to each other "Meaning?" Caleb asked.

I shrugged and took my first bite of food in nearly three days. After I had swallowed I answered. "Beautiful, deadly, dominate," the three words seemed to encapsulate everything that I found attractive about all of them.

A twinly smirk grew on their lush mouths "Yes partly but all the men of our line are such for the most part with the exception of a few weak ones," Caleb informed me.

Eric laughed suddenly with darkness covering it "We have often wondered if our inbreeding has caused us to have such charm," his glance took both he and I in its grip.

Caleb inclined his shapely head to agree "Indeed we are the most beautiful men in the south." I knew that he was speaking of Cole as well.

His pale eyes flickered to Eric "I suppose you denied Cole the privilege of your bride?" the question was laden and soft.

At the responding nod a smile grew languorously on his mouth. "You will come and live with us until she decides," Eric said with great determination and conviction and I was almost proud of him.

Caleb bowed his head "You would allow me to court her in a fashion?"

Eric stood and looked down at him with despair "What choice do I have? I told her that I would do anything for her forgiveness."

"Forgiveness? For your unfaithfulness?"

My lord husband's soft mouth twisted "Partly but mostly because I raped her in front of my slaves," the confession was a surprise.

Caleb stood suddenly "You deserve her not," he snarled looking murderous. Eric's hand flashed to his half full plate and he picked it up and hurled it to the wall. "Don't you think I know that?" his voice was vicious with self-hate.

His black haired cousin softened then "You have never been able to be constant or consistently kind," he fell quiet for an instant "Cruelty runs in our veins," he uttered softly with a cutting of his eyes to me.

The statement aroused me and I knew that their evil was what compelled to them. I had a sudden image of hell as it had been in my dream and shivered with a feeling of dread.

I looked down at my wrists and saw that the faint bruises were gone. I felt both of them watching me and raised my head. On their faces were equal looks of worship and love and hate. It was beautiful and flattering.

And when I stood and turned to go they followed me into the library and they studied me as I picked out a book. Suddenly a laugh erupted from me "This situation is so odd," I said with my back to them.

They stood there like Gods who were slumming on Earth. I wanted to tell Eric that I had no desire for another but my pride stopped me. I would not be constant in the face of his endless affairs with both men and women.

"Caleb are you a lover of men as well?" I turned to catch his expression.

A look of deep distaste curled his lip "No," came his curt reply. Then he looked over to his beloved cousin "But I hold no judgment of him."

Eric smiled warmly at him with pain lurking in his aquamarine eyes and slung his arm over his shoulder. They were the exact same height. I sank into the chair that I'd been first sitting in when Caleb had entered my life five years ago. And began to read. They sat near me as if compelled to be near me.

"Do you know she was reading de Sade when I first met her?" I sighed and couldn't resist glancing up to catch my lord's responding expression. It was interest and uneasiness.

"Is that so," he murmured.

They stood and came towards me and gathered close around the chair "She is so lovely," Caleb said softly. Eric crouched before me "Do you believe me now that I love you?" the question was so absurd but moving.

"What because you are such a faithless whore but a fair one?" a sneer crossed my face and I wanted to claw out his eyes that haunted me every moment. "That you would rather I lie with your very own cousin than be constant with your affections?"

"You disgust me," I sighed out and my husband looked completely crushed and fell to his knees.

"Don't talk to him that way or I will strike you," Caleb said savagely.

It was such a bizarre thing for him to say that my face was exposed for once "Why?"

"Isn't it obvious to you that I adore him? And furthermore he can't help his adultery," there was a shadow of time hanging in his words.

Eric looked up at him "Don't," he whispered.

"I must."

"Your husband was raped when he was quite young by our uncle and ever since he needs to have many lovers or the despair in him nearly moves him to take his own life."

My lord's resounding scream echoed in the room and I joined him on the floor and my hand feathered to his brow "How sorry that is," I whispered. He fell into my open arms with an anguished cry.

**AN: Friend coming over in like five minutes, I tried to get this out though. Thanks for all the supportive reviews and honest opinions as well. I didn't have time to do a longer chapter.  
><strong>


	47. The Crimson We Lost And Shared

**AN: First off to the original reviewer who hurt my feelings if you're still reading, I apologize. I was in a fragile place mentally: ordinarily I can take someone's honest opinion with aplomb but I was having a personal problem. Secondly thank you to all who took the time to leave such intense reviews of support. I have said it before but I have THE GREATEST READERS IN THE FUCKING WORLD. **

The moment my hand touched his brow I doubled over in pain. A hot steaming liquid seeped from me and I glanced down and saw crimson. I knew at once what had happened. Our child had just died. When Eric saw the blood coming from me he screamed so loud and tortured that our slaves rushed in.

He gathered me up and carried me to my childhood bed. "Caleb go get Cole immediately," my husband snarled.

I didn't hear his response perhaps because he didn't have one. Eric sank beside me on the plush mattress that my father had commanded a hundred slaves to craft for me in the period of two days. It was filled with goose feathers and sheep's wool. "She is dead," he said mournfully.

My eyes opened fully "He," I replied. The sorrow between us was strange to me, for me because I wasn't fond of children as it brought back horrible memories of impotence and I don't believe I know why I thought it strange for your father. To my son Cole: When I am gone I wish you to know that you have always been my favorite child and it is to you that I have written this tale, you who came from me who always loved me despite my coldness.

Back to this moment. I was dying or so I felt. I fell asleep with my husband singing a hymn in my ears. It was "The Old Rugged Cross" a song of which I've have always been fond. That was a peculiarity of mine; I have always been in love with negro hymns even though I hate God. Well that isn't correct exactly for how can you hate someone you don't believe in?

I don't know how long passed before I was surrounded by the three most beautiful and cruel men I've ever known. "Strip her," Cole ordered.

I felt my garment taken from me gently and then I lay bare and bloody before my husband and his relations. After a short moment I felt someone draw the sheet over me. I opened mine eyes and saw Cole with a syringe and a jars of what looked like blood. He was the first doctor in America to practice blood transfusion in our little area at least.

He began injecting me again and again and his face was cold in its professionalism but then did the sunlight reveal a shade of concern? I couldn't be certain at the time. Cole went on to be one of my favorite people that I have ever known. I was drawn to and loved many in your father's family.

Soon I felt somewhat restored though my limbs were deadened and Eric ordered a bath be drawn and the three men stood around me. When his cousins turned to leave Eric stopped them "No, stay please brothers," with a jolt I took in what my intellect should have told me the whole time. They were brothers.

They halted and turned back I saw through my thick lashes looks of surprise. "Brothers?" I echoed weakly with great self-shame.

The three nodded "Half," Cole said softly.

Soon the bath was ready and I was put in reverently and my husband began to wash me while he cried. Cole and Caleb pulled up chairs and watched. Eric washed me as if I were the baby that had just died. It had been so small that it hadn't been more than a pulp of bloody tissue.

"I'm so sorry," Caleb said quietly.

"Thank you and I know you mean that," he returned absently as he washed my hair.

Cole I saw had tears in his eyes which I found to be exceedingly odd "Cole what troubles you?" I asked with a faint voice. It was from a place of detached curiosity that I asked not any real caring.

"Our child died the day before she drowned," his voice was mired in sorrow.

Eric's hands went still and his face froze and a look of despair came over his features "It was mine," he said softly.

Cole nodded and tears welled from his beautiful foggy eyes "Yes and she would remind me of that daily," he fell silent for a second _"This child will make him adore me finally,"_ it was constant a litany of hers."

My husband's hand drifted to my sex and he washed me sexlessly and tenderly. His face was so pained and I knew that he was now mourning not just our child but theirs. "I didn't know," he whispered staring into my half closed eyes.

"Yes I know, I forbade her to tell you," he paused and said directly to me "The night you inquired where she was, I had her in chains to keep her from telling your husband."

Finally I was clean and I held up my little arms to be lifted free of the tepid water. Caleb snagged a towel and wrapped it around me gently which my lord allowed with a small growl.

My husband laid me down and tucked me and I fell deep into dreams. That night I dreamt of my child who now was no more than a hope, a wish a figment of twisted love.

I shall not reveal that dream to you as it still burdens my soul and to write of it would kill me before I can finish this tale.

When I awoke Cole was beside my bed reading a book of poetry that I'd written when I was twelve. It was filled with little evil sonnets about the world ending which was a recurring fantasy of mine throughout my childhood. I smirked "How strange that you should have found that," I murmured. The book had been stored into a table beside the bed which had been crafted to look like a book painted with a portrait of Minnie. It opened to reveal storage space.

Cole glanced at me and then back down with a mysterious look of contemplation "How brilliant these are," he said softly.

"I can't wait to show them," he added and when I raised my hand to protest this he smiled "I am not yours to command little steel magnolia."

"You have the makings of a great writer in you," he said touching the book that I'd made by hand.

I laughed so scornfully then it seemed to hurt him slightly. He rose from his chair and sat very close to me on the bed. "I know that Caleb has been given permission to be your lover," a look of dark bitterness crossed his eyes and his thick black lashes that they all had lowered over his eyes.

I sighed then and his hand went to my mouth and one finger traced my lips "Your mouth is even more erotic then Felicia's was," the seemed to annoy him quite a bit.

"Get dressed we are waiting," he snapped before closing the door behind him. I suppose as a doctor he knew that I was restored enough to do so. I pulled the slave cord and two slaves came in and helped me dress.

My hair was unbound and lay about my exquisite face like flames when I came down the stairs.

They were just sitting down to eat and I sat near Eric next to Caleb and my husband shot me an irritated glance for not choosing his other side which was empty.

Emmire came in then with Lucifer padding behind him and Eric smiled sadly and whistled as if for a hound and the tiger came to him. He fed him a bit of his bacon and stroked his head. "Sookie doesn't like animals," he informed his brothers.

They all seemed annoyed with that even Caleb. "Why not?" he demanded.

I shrugged weakly "They don't challenge me and can't speak," I muttered.

This seemed to amuse them and I realized for the first time that something in their blood carried things in it that seemed to touch everyone in its grasp. To these three so much had been given and withheld.

It took me a minute to think on that last thing. For they were wealthy and beautiful and powerful but something was lacking, some sense that they had been deeply unloved as children and this fact was the reason for their deep and abiding love for one another.

I took a bite of my softened by egg toast and Eric beamed at me with pleasure. "That is one of the first times you've eaten in days," he frowned. "You've grown so very thin."

I pushed my plate away half eaten "It has always been so, once when I six I nearly died from the pain of eating," that I should out of nowhere share this was surprising to me. I have rarely in my life spoken of myself.

"There is a medical term for what you have," Cole began and his hands went to his jaws "T.M.J."

I nodded "Yes I am aware, father went bankrupt fora time paying a doctor from Holland to diagnose me."

A look of shame went across Eric's face and I leaned over and kissed his cheek "Do not feel badly my lord for I don't," I whispered.

I was of course referring to our sex in his death room. But regret has never found a home in me; at least not right away. For a brief moment I was in hell once more and then I laughed brightly and the three gave me looks of surprise and confusion and pleasure. "I was in hell the other night and now I know for certain that it isn't below the earth," I fell silent and then smirked "Why it's right here."

**AN: A couple of things: I don't think that they actually had a name for Sookie's condition back then and also "Old Rugged Cross was I'm fairly certain not a African American hymn its just a song that always moved me as child. Also let me explain how it is that they are brothers: They all share the same father and Caleb and Cole were Eric's Aunt's son and Eric had a mother who was a first cousin to his father. It's all very twisted and confusing I know. You know what? I'm fucking confused as shit trying to work this out, when I wrote the original double cousin thing I was nearly in a black out. So just go with it because that's what I have to do, haha.  
><strong>


	48. Emmire's Love

Emmire was standing there looking at Eric and his other brothers with such bitterness and sadness. I knew that he had always been excluded from their circle though they shared the same father.

Eric's eyes flickered to Emmire "Sit with us brother," he said softly. His gaze locked onto Emmire's mouth with a look of hunger and I felt sick to my brain. Emmire sat gracefully and awkwardly all at once.

"You still pine for him I see," Caleb said to his left with a look of tender scorn. His golden skin brother said nothing to that.

It was such a poignant and queer moment. For once in my life I felt someone else's pain truly. It was as if I were inside Emmire's heart and walking the halls of it and feeling the burden of his love that we both shared. But my love was reciprocated where he's was not.

Eric's mouth was curved into a sad smile "I have never treated you as well as I could have," he said to him.

Emmire bowed his head and then smirked and spoke for the first time since I'd known of him. "No but then I wouldn't love you if you did. I heard what Caleb said in the library and our uncle did the same to me except many more times than with you," a look of dull pain infused his perfect face.

My lord's hand around his goblet of juice tightened until the glass broke. It made no sound as it was dulled by his flesh. The silence was heavy with no surprise but a vast pity.

"I smothered him in his sleep the morning after he raped you," Emmire added beckoning to a fellow slave to fill his glass.

Eric's gentian eyes shuttered with love and lust and pain "You did it for me," he said softly with something like regret.

Emmire didn't nod or make any sign that this was true he simply raised his glass to his beautiful lips and took a sip of orange juice with an expression of sorrow.

My husband stood and looked down at me "Tonight you may if you are able lie with Caleb," he crouched down next to me with an anguished expression "I must fuck him, do you understand why?"

Slowly I nodded and then the sound of my slap upon his ivory cheek resounded in the room. Eric leaned forward and claimed my lips "I'm so in love with you even in my sleep I miss you," that was the last thing he said before he and Emmire left together to go to the chamber.

I picked up my plate and threw it against the wall "I wish that vacuous whore of yours was still alive," I snarled to Cole.

He just stared at me for a minute "You're so like him and so different at the same time, so cruel so beautiful, you are he made male," I could see that he wanted to beat me and make love to me right in that instant.

My lips curved into a cold smile "Tell me Cole did you never examine how utterly devoid of intelligence or worth she was?" I knew that I was taking out my wrath and despair on him but I couldn't seem to help it.

Caleb wore a look of distaste "Shut up Sookie," he snapped.

My eyes cut to him "I will bend the knee to no one," I said using the words my lord had so many weeks ago.

"Have you no care for the infant that died?" he asked picking up his goblet and watching the sunlight dazzle his eyes.

My silence was absolute "If I felt anything at all I certainly would not share it with you," my voice was ice, and filled with my incredible strength of character.

His eyes when he glanced up were darkened to that mysterious shade that the sky sometimes has right before the night dies and the day is born. "Indeed," he replied with a tiny bit of bitterness.

I stood and picked up every plate in the room and hurled them one by one with food or bare to the beautiful walls painted with a scene of a pagan heaven. Then I turned to Caleb "Why is that you love me so?"

"Is it this face that has you had you transfixed for so long?" my tone was a jeering sneer.

Caleb's eyes grew hooded and his own cruelty was revealed "I want to dominate you and possess you utterly," he paused. "I always have ever since I knew you didn't even love your own father."

Cole was still eating from the only plate that I hadn't thrown; he ate with such constancy and fervor even though the food was surely cold. "Cole is your food hugging you?" I asked and then did a snowy laugh.

He glanced up with his eyes the gray of a swallow's wings and a little smirk came across his face "Is your childish rage hugging you _sister _dear?"

I stared at him and then sat down "Why could I not have waited for you?" I said to no one but it was to Caleb that I addressed it.

Caleb moaned deeply stood and snared my wrists in a painful grasp "How dare you say such a thing," it was a hissing snarl and I felt genuinely afraid and powerfully excited by the pain he was causing me.

He struck me then hard and I would have fallen had he not had me locked in his grip. Cole finished his meal and threw the last bit of china to join the others. "Enjoy brother," it was tossed casually and I could hear in his parting words a bit of cruel happiness that I had been punished for my viciousness.

He turned in the doorway at the last second and stared at the two of us "I fucking hate that you will have her," then he was gone.

Caleb regarded me with his pale eyes caged by thick black lashes so like my husband's. "You will scream for me to take you," he vowed.

Then he wrapped his hand around the fall of my hair and dragged me from the room. We passed the chamber and I heard Emmire "_Eric!" _ and the sound of flesh furiously hitting and I could also hear my love weeping.

**AN: I am aware that with this update I will most likely lose at least half my readers. Sorry. ** **I will update a few more times if I can today. Eric had to do what he's done to repay Emmire. I feel moved to share something of a personal nature which may help in explaining the way I write. My husband who passed a few years ago was insane and deeply in love with me but was unable to be faithful to me. I believe he first cheated on me the first week we were married. I loved him so deeply but I also hated him. May you be restful wherever you are Davide.  
><strong>


	49. The Nursery Where He Searched For Me

**ME: I fucked up last chapter and forgot that they are still in Sookie's childhood home. Forgive the mistake it's sometimes easy to forget my character's surroundings. **

Caleb only allowed me to tarry in front of that door for a moment before wrenching me down the hall and up to the attic where I used to be brought to play as a child. I hadn't. There were cobwebs in every corner and near the middle of the vast room was a doll house of exquisite craftsmanship that my father had paid nearly a thousand dollars to have made for my pleasure.

Caleb went directly to it and stared down at it with an peculiar expression "This is very fine," he said softly. He crouched down and opened its tiny doors and bent his head to see better inside. There was a bed in that room where my cousin had slept at times. I had had some affection for her and when she died of consumption I'd nearly cried. "Why have you taken me here," I asked him as he rose.

He shrugged and ran his hand through his hair "I was in here last night for a long time just touching things and trying to imagine you at play," he fell quiet and scowled "And no matter how hard I tried I couldn't see you ever playing."

I sat upon the bed and gazed around me "I didn't play except when I was an infant there was a silver rattle that I was rather fond of."

Caleb looked thunderstruck "You mean you remember your time as a babe?"

He sat in a plush crimson chair that my grandfather had made and just looked upon me with wonder "Why did you say that earlier?"

I lay back and felt like crying and said nothing. I felt him get into the bed with me and his arm go about me. "Answer me Sookie," he commanded.

I shook my head and didn't raise my lids "Open your eyes," he sighed into my tiny ear. I did and he was wearing such a look of reverence for my person that I was moved.

"Why do you ask questions to which you already know the answer?"

A frown was born on his lips "I suppose you're right I do," he murmured. His powerful arm so like my love's draped over his eyes and a long sigh escaped him. "I need to get the fuck away from you before I kidnap you from my brother," his voice was soft and seductive.

I was quiet for a long time "I read "Into the Heart of the Moon" I told him.

Caleb's arm moved and he slipped onto his side "And?"

I bit my lip "It was quite dark and erotic and thrilling."

His lids lowered until his eyes were hidden "Thank you," the wonder at my words was hidden behind his darkness and mystery.

"In fact I've read all your work."

"So you received them?"

I nodded.

"It wasn't until last summer that I found your letters locked away in my father's desk," I turned on my side and cupped my face.

This news brought joy to him which lay in the hollow's of his eyes but no smile came and then swiftly on the heels of that was an acute sorrow. "And why did you not write to me?"

I didn't wish to answer and I turned to leave and he wrapped a big hand in my hair and wrenched me back to the bed. "Answer the question my heart," his voice was raised only slightly and part of me wondered if the men of my love's family ever raised their voice. But then Cole had at Felicia's wake.

"No unhand me," I snapped as my head was torn back.

His hand wrapped around my throat and his fingers touched so large was it and so small was my neck "I command you," he peered into his eyes as if the devil and god both lived there.

A mournful sound left me " I didn't write you because I was so sure that you'd married another since I never wrote you back."

Caleb pushed me against the wall and one arm went on either side of me caging me "We can't be lovers until you heal and I would not take you on this day even if I could," he halted for a moment "The child—he broke off and stepped back.

"I felt such pain for him but none for you," he said going to the windows and opening them.

I felt irritated with him by his cold statement and blatant honesty "That's a rather mean admittance isn't it?" I asked coming to stand beside him.

His profile was perfect and cruel; his lashes so long and thick over his pale eyes. "Yes I suppose so."

I truthfully felt very little sorrow for the baby, after all it hadn't even had fingers yet.

"Is everything just a play to you?"

"Somewhat but there are rare moments when I am on the stage as well," I replied touching the glass.

I could feel that this intrigued him. "I want to tell you to leave him but I love him too much," his sorrow was raw.

His hand went to my small face and he forced it to his eyes and then he crushed my lips under his and then became slightly delicate with his attentions and his tongue went around my lips and he bit my full lower lip and groaned.

I was wet with desire and blood and felt my head swim with pain and the edges of my vision darkened.

Then I slipped into unconscious and dimly felt his arms go about me. When I awoke it wasn't to Caleb but Eric. The room was dark I saw with the encroaching twilight. The worry on his face was genuine as was the shame and fear. "Sookie," he made my name a prayer.

"Please forgive my absence in your hour of need," his hands pushed his hair that suddenly reminded of the shade of a unicorn's mane; into boyish dishevelment.

I took his hand in mine "Does it feel buried now?" Because my husband is deeply intelligent and filled with discernment he knew I asked about his memory of his rape at his uncle's hands.

Slowly he lowered his hand to my face with infinite sensitivity "I hope so, sometimes I dread to close my eyes," he went still and I ached to hear his voice once more "I can still feel him inside me when I dream."

"May I get in bed with you?" the softness there without his demand was both endearing and annoying. I hated when he was weak at times.

"Of course my lord," I said in a hush.

"I do not forgive what you did but I understand it," I said once he was beside me.

I saw his profile in the golden glow of the single candle and the beauty and layers of feeling on it was all consuming to me.

.com/watch?v=zqpZITYexNQ Enya song I listened to over and over as I wrote this. **A: I will try to do another update before bed. Just copy and paste the link. **


	50. The Ice That Flows From My Heart

I felt the true depth of my darkness like an entity inside me as Eric held me to him. I knew that I could never fully love anyone besides myself. The reasons that I loved my husband were hidden to me under my obsession with myself. I moved to kiss his cheek. He was me in some ways and some ways much more loving and compassionate. He had much to teach me of being human.

He was sleeping and I loved that he wasn't snoring, my father had always had a loud boorish snore. I slipped from the bed and made my weak way to leave the room.

I needed. What I didn't know; what does one do when they aren't possessing of a heart in truth? When there is only ice in my veins. I wanted to die I knew when the full coldness of me descended on me. "Wait, come back here," the authority was back in his voice and it warmed me.

I turned and saw him sitting up like Apollo haloed in the moonlight. "I have nothing to give you," I said softly moving back towards the door.

"Sookie I command you to come to me."

I did and stared down at him "Do you realize that you are in love with a facsimile of a human being?"

He seemed wounded by that and he shook his head 'Yes you are cold but you loved Minnie and you love me," his voice was firm with his desire for it to be true.

"Perhaps I only love you as a reflection of myself," the anguish in my voice kept the words from being utterly cruel.

"I am forever striding the edges of what other people feel fully," I confessed this as I sank beside him.

"Can you not teach me passion? Can you not teach me joy?"

Eric bowed his moonlight touched head "You think of me as possessing of such qualities?" slowly his eyes met mine.

I said nothing just looked to him because I don't repeat myself but then I inclined my head. He sighed eloquently and I knelt on the bed near him and touched my brow to his. "Please teach me to live with something approaching passion," the naked pleading in my words wounded me.

His hands cupped my face with such rough gentleness and a growl escaped him "I will try but sometimes I feel I can only reach a part of you and even then it's only on rare occasions," his murmur murdered me.

"Are you healed enough for my cock?"

I stared into his eyes and knew that I wasn't but I wanted. To Feel. To be alive in his embrace. "Yes my lord husband," I whispered.

"I bathed before I came here," he informed me unbuttoning his pants and becoming bare to my eyes.

He mounted me and entered with great gentleness "No if you would be gentle than desist, give me your depths," I demanded.

With that a look of deep fear crossed his perfect face "But what if I should hurt you?"

I gazed into his eyes so unforgettable in their hue and mystery "If I should die with passion in my heart of ice, it would be glorious," I replied softly moving his powerful waist with my tiny hands.

He groaned then "So be it wife," he snarled ripping into me.

I wanted to tell him all of myself while he took me that night. I wanted to share the fact that the clouds feel like the inside of myself and that my mother had come to me in a rotting form and that I'd tasted her soul in my mouth but I said none of these things and I tried to simply_ live_.

He was fierce but the terror in his eyes was real. He pinned me beneath his colossal body and claimed me brutally. The deep pain of his love making invigorated me and I knew in that circlet of time that I have always known that I was masochist. I had heard two gentlemen friends of my father discussing de Sade and I knew though I was only ten that I would be forever drawn to darkness.

Pain makes me feel something that pleasure never has. I don't know that I've truly enjoyed all that much until I met Eric. And even then it was only perhaps the challenge that he represented.

I began to bleed slightly and he stopped with an expression of horror "Do you wish me to go on?" it was as if were transported to the gallows and that his member were a noose that I'd demanded be about me.

I nodded and pulled his head down for a kiss of epic proportions. His tongue tasted of honey and the springtime; you know when you can scent honeysuckle and it comes into your mouth?

Our joining was brief due to his feeling of killing me. "Was he with you earlier?" the question was soft with dread.

I turned on my side "No he felt it would hurt me," again I wanted to tell him that though I found Caleb exciting and beautiful and alluring, that my Eric was the only one I wanted.

"He has much depth but never could it begin to touch your oceans of mystery," I told him kissing his jaw.

He turned his head and his eyes glowed with blue "Truly?" he knew I would make no reply and he seemed to love that about me.

"You have never repeated yourself a single time in our acquaintance and I so love that about you," he sat up and stroked my hair with something approaching worship.

"I need to be cruel to someone or I will kill myself tonight," he said into the languorous silence.

I looked up at him and then joined him in leaning against the wall "Be cruel to me then my lord."

He looked disgusted and intrigued by the notion. "But the chamber is far from here in our home."

"I want you to beat me and make a whip with your belt," I pulled his belt from his trousers and our hands touched briefly.

"I could never," he said quietly.

"If you don't then I won't be able to live another hour with my soul that is so devoid."

He struck me then and I fell back against the bed and he rolled me over with great tenderness and began carefully with great skill to whip me. I knew that he was a master at not leaving scars as he would never profane beauty. I also was aware that that is the reason that he'd refused me my right to abuse the flesh of that vapid Felicia.

He'd been unable to bear her beauty being destroyed. Over and over his whip descended and then I felt him part my cheeks and enter me. He whipped me while he took me as a man and it was glorious and life affirming to us both.


	51. Alaska

The moon had set while we slept after my abuse. I dressed in my silent way and left the attic where I'd been nearly induced to conduct myself as a child in truth. The dust of years coated the soles of my feet as I departed. I closed the door behind me and made my way down the four flights of stairs.

I was hungry for once and with that thought headed to the kitchens. Slaves were starting to stir but they were not awake. When I went into the cellar I grabbed a haunch of soft cheddar and a pitcher of milk and some white bread that was hard only on the outside.

I soaked the bread in the milk the better for my jaws. With a paring knife I sliced irregular chunks of cheese and sat at a kneading table. The sun seemed nearly apologetic when it touched my face. I felt myself old in that moment though I was not yet sixteen. I felt myself decaying aging with each moment that passed. Drawing closer to heartless oblivion.

Taking my earthen ware bowl and topping it with cheddar and a glass of fresh cool milk I went and sat in my mother's garden that had grown wild over the years since her death. But then it hadn't ever been that orderly as my mother had chosen the plants with the idea of mimicking nature.

I sat on a bench that my grandfather had carved after his wife's death. The one obsessed with dogs. A soft mewing caught me and I saw the white kitten approaching me. I don't really know what cats eat all that much as Minnie had been the one to feed Shadow the cat that had been gutted. But I took a tiny bit of softened bread and brought it to its little mouth.

It took it from me and I felt the rough texture of its tongue. "I shall call you Snow," I pronounced to it. I picked it up as the sun danced around us like a toddler at play. How much I loved that place and hated it at the same time. Why I should hate it I'm not certain; was it simply the memory of being helpless that bent me or was it more? I had never been abused as a child as a matter of fact I had been the abuser, so what was the cause of my coldness? I didn't know, I don't know now.

The kitten I'd named was purring with such tactile devotion that I nearly cried for some reason. How long I spent in that garden I don't know. I heard with my keen hearing the back door open and saw my lord standing there. He wore a mysterious smile of riveting joy "What a picture you present!" he exclaimed coming towards us. "The little doll and the little cat," he crouched before us and reached to pet the kitten and I told him what I'd named him.

He seemed unseemly in his pleasure that I should have done so. "Snow is perfect for it," he glanced up at me "We are going on a voyage soon, do you wish my black haired brothers to join us?"

I thought on that for a long moment "I'm not certain, they _are_ interesting."

Eric didn't seem nonplussed by this in fact a smile grew on his mouth "I'm so in love with them at times," he bowed his head "Their love has kept me in this world."

"Minnie kept me," I said softly "And my own interest in myself," I added with a touch of bitterness.

Eric inclined his head to me as he sat next to me "We are going to Alaska by the way," he informed.

"But why?" I asked as I pet Snow.

He shrugged and seemed weary "Because I've always been in love with the cold, perhaps because it's always warm here." Was there a message in that statement? Some meaning as to why he was drawn to me, the ice maid?

"Will you take lovers on the journey?"

His eyes went to mine "Probably, if I meet anyone of beauty," the confession seemed to arouse him and pain him at the same time.

"That is why I asked if you wanted Caleb to come along."

"I suppose I shall have to live with your infidelities if I am to be devoted to you," I said after a long moment.

His hand drifted to mine with a gentleness "I'm so sorry, the darkness in me demands flesh," his hands went to his hair and he pulled on it.

Each sibyl that fell from his sensual mouth was pure hell. "Why must you be constant to me I wonder and why should it wound me when you're not?"

His eyes closed and he wrapped an arm around me "Because you deserve fidelity and I can never give it to you," I felt his lips brush my temple.

"I will take Caleb as my lover," strangely I held him closer to me rather than pushing him away.

"I know and I can only be grateful that it wasn't Cole that you chose," he murmured.

I glanced up "And what if I wanted you all to take me at once?" The query seemed to arouse him and destroy him.

"I would allow it," it was torn from him.

I stood and smirked down at him "Don't worry overly much on that score my lord, I want only you but I will not deny my pride what it needs to go on," I turned away and felt him pick me up with care.

"You want only me," he said softly with joy. "And I want every beautiful person that I see and I couldn't loathe myself more for it."

I flinched in his embrace "We shall learn a dance of sorts my husband," my hand so dainty rose into the air to caress his sculpted cheek.

His bright head dipped to me and we kissed in the warm southern breeze.

A week passed where we returned to our home outside New Orleans with Caleb. Cole had left that night he'd thought I was to be Caleb's.

Truthfully I wanted no one on the voyage but me and my love but I needed to level the battlefield and Caleb was a soldier in my army of pride. That there would be someone with beauty enough to stir his faithless flesh I had no doubt.

We departed on November 12th in the year of _their_ lord Eighteen forty four. Our rage was palatable when Courtland informed us that he was accompanying us. Eric and I had a heated argument where I begged him to stop it. It seemed that he couldn't gainsay him in this or anything else. It was a foggy misty day when we set out for Alaska with Caleb and Courtland and Cole. But we were not overly crowded by their presence on the journey as they each found their own pursuits and when your father wasn't busy being a whore we were together often and we felt the arrow of our shared love pierce us.

But I get ahead of myself my son; I wonder if I shall endeavor to give you every last withered blossom of my youth before I should perish. I don't feel I have any great skill at this tale but it's real in a way I couldn't ever be in this life.

The gangplank rose and slid into the bowls of the hull and the creaking of the masts in the passionate wind was exciting even to me. There we stood tied to one another by fate and blood. All the men around us excluding the one's whose lives I shared seemed to be made of insubstantial stuff; made of shadow and saggy flesh and their faces were unremarkable next to my lord's and his kith.

They were completely compelling standing around me in a protective way. Even Courtland glanced to me thoughtfully and I could see in his face how Eric would look once time had touched him. He was magnificent and cruel; your grandfather went on to be a friend of mine in many ways Cole, though my affection for him never sat easy with me.

I should strive not to address you so much but at times you are the energy of my aged hand and the passion that keeps me here on this earth. When your father died last year, I knew that it was only a matter of time before I joined him and if it hadn't been for your odd devotion to me I would have blown my brains out the moment he passed.

**AN: This tale is nearly at an end. I will do one more chapter today and I feel that it will be the final one. Thank you all for your patronage of this story and the great care you took in your review.  
><strong>


	52. The Long Voyage

The voyage began and we all entered a salon and sat. This was to be one of the only times on this trip that we would gather thusly. Courtland proceeded to pack his pipe and when Caleb looked disgusted with him for it he laughed softly. "It's so very unmanly of you to despise tobacco," he said with some affection.

My eyes narrowed and my little hand tapped the table with irritation "So you don't hold any rancor for Caleb though he is a writer?"

The silence around the table was heavy with so many things. The men around me were the most complex I've ever had the privilege to know. Courtland lit his pipe and when the smoke cleared sufficiently I found him giving me a glance full of amusement. "How you hate that I scorn him," he said softly. "And no I hold no ill will towards Caleb because literature is meaningful," he turned to him with passion in his eyes "Why when I read your last book I must admit I had to do so in privacy for many times it moved me to tears," then he patted Caleb's arm.

Caleb winked over at him and then looked to Eric and I "He has never understood the meaning in any other art except portraiture," at this Cole nodded.

His gray eyes so like their grandfather's became shadowed as he remembered something "Once Eric was painting his mother and he came in and I will never forget this; he said "Perhaps you won't always be worthless and queer," after Cole imparted this he seemed sad.

Eric was dangerously quiet next to me "Do you still keep her likeness in your chambers?" there was some meaning behind this and it became clear in the next minute "He was in love with my mother and they had an affair for many years."

His silver touched head tipped to the side "Why he's believed for many a year that Cole is in fact his son."

Courtland was calmly smoking his pipe and he set it down "Touché, Eric," he smiled then quite coldly. "Yes I still have that portrait that you painted the year of her death and when I look on it is the only time I can accept your aberrations."

"And I have been certain since the moment of his birth that Cole is my progeny," he added softly and then patted Cole's hand who sat next to him.

"So Cole is only Eric's brother?" I asked with my brow furrowed, we many months later made a project of it to make a family tree of your father's family and found it nearly impossible to work out with all the incest and intermarriage.

The three nodded with uncertainty and their grandfather flicked his hand to a negro in white dress "Bring us a round of scotch, something fine," he commanded. "So Sookie Cole tells me that you will soon take Caleb into your bed," this was said as if he'd just remarked that it was going to be a lovely day.

But there was irritation in his voice too "Why did you always give him your poor seconds and then wait till you get a _delicacy _ and deny him for the first time in your life?" it was nearly a snarl.

Eric smirked and when the drinks arrived he drained his glass "Because I'm in love with her and for some reason it would pain me."

Courtland arched a brow "But not so with Caleb."

My lord made no direct reply and sighed "If there is anyone worthy of taking to bed on this pile of shit we're on then she will lie with Caleb many times on this voyage," he seemed resigned to this fact but it still hurt him terribly.

Caleb looked to me with voracious appetite and licked his lip with anticipation. I shivered under the possession of his glance. He was an incredible dark lover I was soon to discover. We went on to be lovers for many years to come. But to your father I gave all the mean contents of my heart.

We sat in silence for a spell "I like her, may I have the pleasure of her too?" Courtland was jesting but he was also serious and part of me wondered what he would be like in bed.

Eric laughed with a scowl "Fuck off old man."

His grandsire was amused and for once I saw true love for Eric in his eyes "You know I don't hate you all the time," he murmured.

"Nor I you," Eric said gesturing to the waiting negro for him to bring a bottle.

Caleb sighed longingly and looked again to me and I felt myself nearly cry with lust and despair. Eric was watching our exchange with carefully crafted detachment.

The wooden door of the vast salon parted and a tall beautiful man entered and your father gasped as if in pain. The man had hair of dark gold and as he came closer I saw his eyes were a bewitching shade of to match.

He in turn noticed Eric and waved and came towards us. When he arrived at the table he gave us all a disinterested glance and bent down and claimed my husband's lips in a passionate kiss.

I longed to laugh and claw out his gold eyes as their lips broke. "You must be Sookie," he said with such casualness.

When he brought a chair to the table and sat down I scowled. "Must you rub all your whores into my vision?" I snapped.

Eric bowed his head in shame "Sookie this Corrin, he's been my lover since I was fifteen," he said softly.

Corrin smirked and glanced over to me "Eric has never had a great passion for women overly, he prefers men," it nearly seemed that he was complimenting me and trying to wound me at the same time.

His beautiful eyes cut to my lord "Come with me, I have such sights to show thee," he said seductively.

Your father looked over and kissed me desperately and I nearly struck him but his eyes warned me against such a flagrant sign of disrespect in the presence of his Courtland.

"I must go, I will return for dinner," he said directly to me and then rose and followed his lover from the room.

The three that were left at the table were looking hungrily at me. "Why not have us all?" Cole asked with a glance around him.

I smirked and brought a glass to my lips "No I think not Cole, though he is a faithless love I will not profane him in that manner." I looked to Caleb "But I will take you to my bed," we rose and I heard Cole gasp.

Caleb placed a light touch to the small of my back and then we found out which room was his. The room was large for ship quarters of those times. It was paneled in walnut and there were even paintings on the walls. A big bed sat in the corner and he shoved me brutally towards it.

He came behind me and with expert fingers began undressing me. "If you had a change of clothing on you I would tear this from you," he said into my ear.

I was trembling with sorrow and desire as I was revealed to him. "How perfect," he whispered putting his hands on my little breasts. His head dipped and he took one into his mouth with a savage groan.

I was growing wet but so were my eyes. "I want you to rape me," I told him. "For I intend to fight you this time."

Caleb's eyes grew feverish with excitement "As you wish my heart." He threw me to the bed and ravished me and I struck him again and again and clawed his chest to free myself.

I will not go into detail about this overly because it will pain you to read of this I'm sure. Suffice to say that your uncle is an expert lover and I came on his member many times in the coming hours.

When it was finished I was weeping against his smooth bare chest with anguish as he stroked my unbound hair. "Will you always fight me and weep afterwards?" there was an odd bit of hope in his voice.

I shrugged "Probably not but then who knows, the depths of my love for him are _endless_."

"Let me go I need to see his face," said I rising to dress. Your uncle assisted me with the many buttons that trailed up the back of my gown. I knew that he spent the rest of his life loving me and hating me. His desire for me never ceased fully.

I could see he wanted me once more "Later," I told him and with nary a glance back I went in search of my true love's kiss.

Over the following weeks I was taken again and again by your father and uncle. And it was glorious and soul crushing all at once.

Sometime in the middle of our voyage we crossed through the Bering Strait and saw a beautiful sight. It was only Eric and my lover Caleb as we took in a field of glaciers before us.

Eric looked to Caleb and then pointed to the sculptures of ice "This is the stuff of her heart and only I will ever truly burn there," it wasn't said with smugness exactly but with his pure ownership of me in a wholly spiritual way.

Caleb leaned over and licked my bare neck "But her little body will burn for me just the same brother," a dark look of love for me and him was in his gaze.

**AN: There will be one more chapter an Epilogue. **


	53. The Lightening and My Birth Into a Star

I know that you will understand this tale of twisted love quite well being the progeny of your father and I. I have strove to treat you as an equal and distance myself from the blood we share in order to be true to this ode of my heart. To you I have given what little love I had left after loving my lord and Minnie. You know that I love your brother Beau but in a more distant way. That has kept me awake many a night with shame.

Only to you Cole was the full mystery of my love given. To you was also shared the moonlight colored hair and his eyes which dance behind mine when they close. I have a confession; Beau isn't your full brother, he is the offspring of your uncle Caleb. That is why he's always been dark to your fairness.

I have known for years of your affair with your sister Belle; and to this I say may you find comfort in one another, love is so rare in this world, why should we be confined by society's whims and forbiddances?

Belle is weak and I have despised her and loved her desperately for the whole of her life. But men flock to her face so like mine used to be and sometimes in candlelight still is. I believe that they are drawn to her warmth and that her weakness is completely compelling to them. Do not misunderstand me; I have great affection for her, in fact she is the only woman I have ever loved besides Minnie and my mother. But it is time to lay down my cards as they say and let you see the full darkness of me which I have striven to hide from all of you.

Your father has always been discreet with his affairs as have I and I'm sure that you were not fully aware of them and I wonder now if my memoir was my last evil act before oblivion.

I hope that in some small measure you saw that I gave everything I had to you children but of course the lion's share was always for you and your father. To Beau: I loved your father Caleb greatly in my own way and we shared deep abiding passion, I thought you should know that before I am gone.

Caleb has watched you grow with great love and has always known that you were his. That is why he took such care with your upbringing and doted on you so. In fact that is why he has lived with us for the past fifteen years. To be near you and in some ways near me. To Belle: I have always loved you as much as I could though I never saw myself in you other than your stunning face. You have much grace and I know that you will marry well and also that you will always be in love chiefly with your brother Cole. I accept this as this is the way of our family and always has been. The men of your father's line are always ones possessing of great charisma and beauty and mystery, even your uncle Cole has depths to him that are nearly awe inspiring.

To Cole for whom this story has been written: When I am gone I wish for you to have your 'aunt' Matilda sing me to my grave with "Amazing Grace". To Matlida: When I said that it was only to Belle and the dead I have given my affections to those of my sex I wish for you to know that in a small way that is a falsehood. You became quite dear to me and when I would hear you sing "La Traviata, the third act" I would become completely undone. Your talent and the contents of your personality have enriched my life of ice.

I ponder as I lay against my soft cotton pillow if there is anything I wish to add. To Caleb: You have been a great comfort to me and have kept me from despair all these years while he was faithless to me. That you have hated me and loved is known to me.

To Cole my brother-law: Though you lived forever in my lord's shadow you have such a soul of grace and depth and with my last breath of strength I wish to impart that I have known for years the worth in you that you could never see.

For Courtland and Eric I have nothing to write because they are dead as I will soon be. Perhaps as my soul disintegrates among the hard brilliant stars I will speak once more with the last of my energy to you and tell you that you have made my life something magnificent when it had such humble beginnings.

I regret nothing that I have done, nor do I regret a single day of loving my husband. Over time his infidelities ceased to hurt me because I knew he never cared for any beyond me; not truly anyway.

To Corrin was given some love but not in the same soul bleeding way as to me. To Emmire: I have grown over time to accept your position in our lives as both kin to my husband and lover and I have come to have some affection for you.

I wish even though I wrote this for you Cole, for this work to be published posthumously. Because I believe though there is no great skill in the manner I have set this down that it will strike a chord with many though they will be loathe to admit it. This is the true tale of all the darkness and passion of an all-consuming love.

I love you my children with all that I am able to. Soon I will be gone from this miserable beautiful planet and be reunited with Eric in the stars; who knows perhaps we will become one star twinkling down upon you.

My hand grows so tight and it pains me but I must end this. With these last words the door opened.

I have set down this encounter with you Cole after you took your leave of me for the readers that shall read this in years to come.

I looked up and saw my son Cole come into the room with his brother Beau. Belle has always been frightened of me so she didn't wish to join them I suppose. Beau is Caleb made anew as is Cole made Eric.

Light and dark and beautiful as both they gathered around me. I closed the book I've been working on for the last eight months and hand it to Cole. "This is the story of the only part of my life that ever mattered," I whispered with the last of my strength.

I looked to Beau "Your father should be here soon," he looked confused by that and I laughed gently with fear at his hate for me.

"But father is dead mother, he died last year," in his voice was concern that I had finally lost my faculties.

"Your uncle Caleb is your true father, I wanted to tell you for years but it felt wrong somehow and it would have pained my lord."

Beau looked wounded but unsurprised "Yes I always suspected such a thing," he murmured in his soft manner that both my sons had gotten from their fathers.

He bowed his night colored head "But Eric has always been so kind to me that I strove to believe it not," he whispered.

I took his elegant hand in mine only withered slightly with time "I have always tried to love you as you deserve Beau, forgive me for my coldness."

At this statement Beau nodded "Yes I know mother that you have, and I know that you love my father."

At my responding nod he gave me a sorrowful smile and glanced to his brother "I have been envious of you for years that you looked so much like your father while I resembled Caleb and Cole," he paused and his hand drifted to his brother's.

You were watching me in that moment with bright interest and I was flattered as I have always been in your abiding interest in me. He turned to his brother and leaned forward and kissed his cheek with tenderness "I know that brother dear," he said softly.

"Mother it is time to give you to the ether and I find I couldn't be sadder," my son Cole said.

No one in our family with the exception of Belle ever believed in God. I nodded and looked to Beau once more "You will not hold any rancor for my coldness?"

He smirked with his lush mouth "No mother, you did the best you could."

"Your sister could not bear to join us I see," I said abruptly. My sons looked pained.

"You have always been so cold with her that she feared that you would have no parting word for her," Cole told me with a look of anger. I knew that he was madly in love with his sister and that part of him hated that I had withheld a great deal of affection from her.

"You will always love and care for her?" this question was to you my son.

Cole nodded "Yes I will though…" he trailed off and in his bright aquamarine gaze was a dread.

"I have known for years," I whispered reaching for his cheek to touch with my aged lips.

He gasped as if in pain "Why did you not put a stop to it?" he sounded grateful and sorrowful.

I shrugged with my delicate shoulder "Because love is all that matters in this world and I would never take from you such comfort," I fell quiet for a moment and listened to the rain that had begun to fall. "What difference does blood make in such a passionate feeling of the heart?"

Cole smiled then and tucked my blankets about my little emaciated form. "You have been the most remarkable mother that any has ever had," he said softly.

Shortly after my sons took their leave I wrote this last exchange down and got up with the lingering bit of strength available to me and opened the window and went back to bed. I listened to the rain that fell like manna from heaven and nodded with justice at the universe. The rain somehow was a right granted to me as I lay dying.

The final vision to my heavy with life eyes was a bolt of lightning that cut through the shadows and burned in my heart of ice. A final touch of fire and then I drew my last breath.

**A/N: This is the end. I have given the whole contents of my dark soul to this work. And as some of you have suspected there is much of my life in this tale. This my ode to my love who died alone never feeling true happiness of a lasting nature. He was never once faithful to me but the love he gave me was so very deep and his passion for living was immense. If you wish to rail against the ending go ahead but I am fully satisfied and proud of this tale because I have fully told a tale of my soul. **


End file.
